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[pmcd9]

She doesn't want anything inappropriate yet insist on Takin' Care of Business which is a song about being lazy and never working.

[CortJstr]

She doesn't want anything inappropriate yet insist on Takin' Care of Business which is a song about being lazy and never working.

That's part of why this is taking so long. She suggests songs she remembers on the theory that old songs are automatically "clean." Then when I e-mail her the lyrics she realizes they won't work. She somehow never manged to notice that School's Out includes the line "school's been blown to pieces" in the chorus. I think because she only knows that song from commercials which drop that line. Kind of like "that ain't me" whenever Fortunate Son gets used in an ad.

[theinevitable]

Kind of like "that ain't me" whenever Fortunate Son gets used in an ad.

One of the biggest frustrations of my life, I think, is that I will never be able to sing that song for realz.

[pmcd9]

How about Sugar Sugar which is the most innocuous song about sex ever written.

[CortJstr]

One of the biggest frustrations of my life, I think, is that I will never be able to sing that song for realz.

So you are a millionaire's son? Can I have some money?

[Carlos del Vaca]

I don't mean to cut down your mom, Cort, but the idea that modern parents are playing the theme to "Welcome Back Kotter" for their 7-year-olds is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a loooooong time.

As to old songs being "clean"... hands up, who else watched the Olympics closing ceremony and wondered if that British singer chick was going to give us every inch of her love?

[CortJstr]

I don't mean to cut down your mom, Cort, but the idea that modern parents are playing the theme to "Welcome Back Kotter" for their 7-year-olds is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a loooooong time.

As to old songs being "clean"... hands up, who else watched the Olympics closing ceremony and wondered if that British singer chick was going to give us every inch of her love?

Dude, you have no idea. My mom went to college in the late 60's and claims that not only did she and her friends not do any drugs, but that she didn't know a single person at her whole school who ever did any drugs. Not even acquaintances.

When I explained that "contact high" is a drug reference she thought it was about Contact brand cough syrup.

She says "teeny-bopper" like, all the time.

Actually the most confusing thing is when she starts telling a story about "a little girl" at her elementary school and about 2/3 through you suddenly realize the she's talking about another teacher who's like 26.

[jaydub]

As to old songs being "clean"... hands up, who else watched the Olympics closing ceremony and wondered if that British singer chick was going to give us every inch of her love?

Only if she's actually channeling Nice Pete's or Buffalo Bill's performances.

I thought her voice was a pretty good match to Robert Plant's.  I was wondering if it was dubbed at first.  Given the ChiCom's earlier antics in the Opening Ceremonies, it would not have been surprising.

[pmcd9]

I guess she thinks that Brand New Key is about Roller Skating.

This could be a new meme.

Cort's mom is so old fashioned she thinks...

[Carlos del Vaca]

Cort's mom is so old fashioned she thinks "I've Got the hoss and She's Got the Saddle" is actually about equestrian activities.

[AlohaDawg]

She thinks the DiVinyl's " I touch myself" is about...

never mind.

[CortJstr]

My mom asks people if they're "going steady."

She had to have a joke explained to her because she was unaware of the snooty frenchman stereotype.

She believes all atheists are just claiming to be so for shock value.

She thinks 99% of protesters just want to cause trouble/get on tv/have an excuse to walk out of class and don't actually care about the cause one way or the other.

In high school I actually had to explain to her that the Blink 182 lyric "never conquered, rarely came" isn't dirty. She had never heard "Veni, vidi, vici."

[Golfhaus]

It's not just your mom, Cort.

My sister, wife, and I were at my mom's house one day talking, and kept talking about "the c-word," to the point where even my sister and I, who cuss like sailors, talked about how we reserved its use for the most dire of circumstances. Mom listened patiently, and finally said, "what's so bad about the word 'crap?'"

[CortJstr]

She's actually down with swearing, she just doesn't absorb things like regular people. She has to actually be thinking about something to retain it in any way. I can't count the number of times I've said something about a tv commercial that she had literally just watched seconds ago, only for her to say, "I've never seen that one."

[jaydub]

(Wailing and gnashing of teeth is heard from the marketing departments worldwide)