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Author Topic: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner  (Read 3500 times)

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dejavroom

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09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« on: September 10, 2008, 11:59:47 am »
Fuck cooking. Seriously, fuck it.

At first I didn't notice that this was a re-run. Is it still game to post it?

Fuck cooking.


[fixed link - Cort]
« Last Edit: September 12, 2008, 08:45:46 pm by CortJstr »
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The absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.

pmcd9

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2008, 01:13:07 pm »
Not a re-run actually.  It appeared before in the New Yorker or something.  Now it's being presented to us.

In other news: Little Nephew still Dead?
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CortJstr

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2008, 01:19:06 pm »
I have never actually seen a condom machine in a bathroom. WWF Attitude Era temporary tattoo machines, yes, but no condoms.
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AugustWest

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2008, 01:46:10 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on September 10, 2008, 01:19:06 pm
I have never actually seen a condom machine in a bathroom. WWF Attitude Era temporary tattoo machines, yes, but no condoms.

Obviously you need to frequent more truck stops and/or pool halls.
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jay-ell

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2008, 02:19:47 pm »
Yeah, dude.  I've seen them in Ladies rooms. 
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lprkn

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2008, 05:24:12 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on September 10, 2008, 01:19:06 pm
I have never actually seen a condom machine in a bathroom. WWF Attitude Era temporary tattoo machines, yes, but no condoms.

Where was this bathroom that sells such things? Seems like you'd have to be drunk or 12 to buy one. Where do 12 year olds drink these days?
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smick

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2008, 07:05:29 pm »
I was recently in a bathroom with just such a machine.

It was covered in enough sharpie and stickers that the contents of each slot had become completely obfuscated.

"Perhaps I'll get some massage oil.  Maybe a condom.  Can I be reasonably assured that this will be safe to use after such rough trade?"
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Dangermoose

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2008, 08:07:03 pm »
Quote from: smick on September 10, 2008, 07:05:29 pm
I was recently in a bathroom with just such a machine.

It was covered in enough sharpie and stickers that the contents of each slot had become completely obfuscated.

"Perhaps I'll get some massage oil.  Maybe a condom.  Can I be reasonably assured that this will be safe to use after such rough trade?"

I have seen several of these machines that offers something along the lines of a "surprise me" button.
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2008, 01:08:07 am »
The worst ones are the ones that only sell glow-in-the-dark ticklers that are not suitable for contraceptive use.

Or in an oblique way, the ones student unions put up to dispense freebies, because they speak of a world in which you have to lock your condoms in a metal box to protect them from loonies who think that sticking a pin through them is a morally laudable act.
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Golfhaus

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2008, 03:50:43 am »
Liked it better the first time I read it.
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2008, 09:45:31 am »
Quote from: Golfhaus on September 11, 2008, 03:50:43 am
Liked it better the first time I read it.

Well I'm sorry my posts don't hold up to rereading for you. I'm sorry you can't compile them into a finely-bound but slim tone and keep them under your pillow to turn through each night before you go to sleep. I'm sorry you can't repeat them as soothing mantras. Jesus fuck*ng Christ.
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KeithHernandez

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2008, 11:07:50 am »
Jesus tittyfuck*ng Christ
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2008, 11:15:24 am »
Quote from: KeithHernandez on September 11, 2008, 11:07:50 am
Jesus tittyfuck*ng Christ

This could happen. He is omnipotent.
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AugustWest

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2008, 12:28:33 pm »
Quote from: KeithHernandez on September 11, 2008, 11:07:50 am
Jesus tittyfuck*ng Christ

With a glow-in-the-dark, ribbed-for-her-pleasure intimate novelty bought at the Flyin' J.
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2008, 02:36:45 pm »
Surely "ribbed for His pleasure"?
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