OK fine, in penance I try to answer Jough's other questions, and you will all wish I stuck to dachshunds.
1. Who writes and draws Achewood?
This guy, the Mysterious Chris Onstad, former messageboard tyrant and heartthrob to millions, or maybe dozens.
2. How old is Chris?
Like in his late 20s. I'll get back to you when I repeat the Internet stalking that revealed what year he graduated and we can guess from there.
3. How can I contact him?
chris@achewood.com. Don't tell him I sent you, I have the feeling he thinks I am a little peculiar.
4. Is he married?
Yes, to Elizabeth known as Liz, a fan of otters. Why do you want to know?
5. What tools does he use to create Achewood?
Band saw, particle accelerator, and pruning shears.
6. Is Achewood only available on the web?
Apparently some lucky people can read it on paper, I am guessing somewhere on the west coast.
7. What does Chris do for a living?
Trains dachshunds for the circus.
8. Does Chris have formal art training?
I think he says no. I can't think of a funny answer to this that isn't rude.
9. Where did Chris go to school?
Stanford, where, I am assured by a friend native to the west coast, they aren't as snobby as at Harvard, the Stanford of the East.
10. Why is Chris such a dick?
He was a perfectly sweet and rational person until the madness of the Dumbrella messageboard, and we should all feel terribly guilty for what we have done.