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@achewood There’s no Day for apologizing to our parents for all the stupid shit we put them through. Perhaps because we never finish before they die.

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Author Topic: Favorite Jokes.  (Read 6052 times)

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littlefallsmets

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #30 on: February 11, 2009, 03:39:29 am »
I always thought the punchline was "Matt".
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pmcd9

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #31 on: February 11, 2009, 04:13:01 am »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on February 11, 2009, 03:39:29 am
I always thought the punchline was "Matt".

Matt was the boy with no arms or legs.
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AugustWest

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2009, 04:48:27 am »
Quote from: pmcd9 on February 11, 2009, 04:13:01 am
Matt was the boy with no arms or legs.

Unless you:

Throw him in the ocean, then he's Bob;

Nail him to a wall, then he's Art;

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Doc

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #33 on: February 11, 2009, 04:55:44 am »
How about take the build up of known jokes and then give them terrible endings?

What did the dog breeder call her shitzu bulldog cross?
Nothing, no reputable breeder would waste their time and money on something like that.
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pmcd9

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #34 on: February 11, 2009, 04:56:45 am »
Quote from: AugustWest on February 11, 2009, 04:48:27 am
Unless you:

Throw him in the ocean, then he's Bob

I thought they threw him in the ocean because he wanted to get fucked.  we'll he's fucked now.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #35 on: February 11, 2009, 03:36:38 pm »
You know the guy with no arms and legs who sits in a hole?
That's Phil.
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jay-ell

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #36 on: February 11, 2009, 03:42:57 pm »
Doesn't Phil have a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? 

You know, Sparky? 
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #37 on: February 11, 2009, 08:56:29 pm »
And then there's their friend Russell who lives under a pile of leaves.
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AugustWest

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #38 on: February 11, 2009, 09:00:57 pm »
Barb who sits on the fence...

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jay-ell

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #39 on: February 11, 2009, 09:40:23 pm »
Oh!  Oh!  My favorite joke! 

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging?  Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"Why do they call him Brown Paper Pete?" the cowboy asked.

"Well,"said the bartender, "he always wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper chaps and brown paper boots."

"That's odd," said the cowboy, "but what are they hanging him for?"

The bartender looked the cowboy right in the eye and said, "Rustlin'." 
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #40 on: February 11, 2009, 10:50:43 pm »
Quote from: Doc on February 11, 2009, 04:55:44 am
What did the dog breeder call her shitzu bulldog cross?

This reminds me. I went to the zoo the other day, but all they had there was one, single dog...
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Ben-San

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Re: Favorite Jokes.
« Reply #41 on: February 12, 2009, 07:41:35 am »
A lot of my favorite jokes are the result of reading Wikipedia articles about Cold War Soviet Bloc humor.

The Commissar of East Berlin is a cheerful fellow. In the morning, he throws wide his window and says "Guten morgen, friend sun!" And the sun replies "Guten morgen, friend Commissar!" At lunchtime, he leans out the window, smiles at the bright noonday sky, and shouts "Guten tag, friend sun!" And the sun replies "Guten tag, friend Commissar!" After dinner, he goes to the window, looks at the setting sun, and whispers with a smile "Guten abend, friend sun." And the sun replies "You go fuck yourself, I'm in the West now."

Also: What's the difference between the Party government's space program and the Party government's owned grocery stores? The space program admits they're putting dogs in it.
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