Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[miles]

Beef is a man who gets mad when the Jim won't stand up. I know just how he feels.

Yep. And Molly, you lost some points for being a Bitch. For all Beef knows he has cancer of the dick and you're asking if it's you? FUCK you. Be supportive. You know how he is. You should have stopped after "it happens to every guy at some point."

And, agreed. "I always show up with my bro up" is spectacular.

[Toaster]

...and, yeah, The Lord's work is a motherfucker but she keeps on keeping on.

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you. I'll put that sentence in my pocket for when I have a Worry. Right next to my Worry Pills.

[wombat]

Yep. And Molly, you lost some points for being a Bitch. For all Beef knows he has cancer of the dick and you're asking if it's you? FUCK you. Be supportive. You know how he is. You should have stopped after "it happens to every guy at some point."

Miles, you are just wrong here. Why is the guy the only one who's allowed to have sexual insecurities?

LFM hits it on the head. I know a little bit about what it's like to live with Roast Beef, and you guys just have to cut that girl some slack.

[Doc]

I didn't actually read the text, I just saw Molly and figured 'bitch'. You guys might be overthinking it.

[miles]

I was excessively harsh, sure, because I was drunk-ish, and of course not only guys are allowed insecurities. And I've always liked Molly. However, judging from the text itself, this hasn't happened to Beef before (at least not often). I would fully expect Beef to cut Molly some slack if she, say, just wasn't into it one evening, and not start accusing her of sleeping around. He probably wouldn't, and he'd be an asshole for it. But let me also say that Beef clearly wasn't just not into it, he simply wasn't able to get it up. If Molly had some sort of physiological issue that prevented her from getting it on, and Beef was just concerned about whether it had something to do with him, he'd be even more of an asshole for it.

And like it or not, the functionality of a dude's junk is inseparable from his sense of masculinity, which makes it all the more sensitive of a subject for Beef. I'm writing a paper on Onstad's investigation of phallic size and functionality and how it almost exclusively determines what it is to be a modern man. Usually he focuses on Ray in this area, but here we see him focusing on Beef's struggle to come to grips, ahem, with his masculinity. I'll post more about it later.

Or I could be over thinking it, like Doc said.

[lprkn]

As long as you don't use some ridiculous font, dude.

[Doc]

I mean, I'm cool with overthinking.
That's basically how I spend most of my spare time.

[wombat]

As long as you don't use some ridiculous font, dude.

Seconded.

[miles]

It's really part of a series of lectures I'm developing on the subject. I'm also looking at the history of rock music. See, when Jimi Hendrix destroyed his guitar, one of two preeminent phallic symbols in American popular culture, he wasn't just being a badass rock star, he was deconstructing masculinity. However when Pete Townshend performed live with his signature windmill, he was merely beating off.

I also explore De Palma's Scarface. When Tony Montana, in a cocaine-fueled, gun-wielding rage (the gun being the other major phallic symbol, of course), shouts "say hello to my little friend," he's clearly compensating for his lack of size and his impotence in bed. His thought was "I may not be able to get it up, but I'll mow all you motherfuckers down." In the days before Viagra, cocaine was sometimes used to aide in sexual function. Perhaps Ray's white vanilla sheet cake is his sexual aide. His cocaine, if you will.

Most tellingly, as a white man sometimes writing in a black man's voice, Onstad is hinting at his own insecurities by referencing the "opposite race." For more on this, check out the series "Big Black Dicks, Little White Chicks." Particularly vol. 7, where a well-hung black male engages in coitus with a petite white woman, while her cuckolded, less well-endowed husband looks on helplessly, yet curiously aroused.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Agreed. Couldnt have done it better myself.

[TripperDay]

Is there a way to become special enough to give away tiny cans of Dr. Pepper? I want to give one to miles.

[lprkn]

I think you have to post a certain number of times, like 20 or so. So: incentive to post more!

[CortJstr]

Is there a way to become special enough to give away tiny cans of Dr. Pepper? I want to give one to miles.

I think you have to have 10 or 25 posts. And probably have a positive number of cans yourself.

[Toaster]

It is always nice to welcome a new person into our folds. I was a new person, once. I mean, I'm not new anymore, right?

[jaydub]

n00b question