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[greenkoolayd]

so no dead baby jokes?  check...

[Bobby Isosceles]

so no dead baby jokes?  check...

... with a straw!


(Too soon, Phillipe!)

[greenkoolayd]

... with a straw!


(Too soon, Phillipe!)

so maybe theres a difference between a dead baby joke, and taking lightly the death of an actual baby or child...

[theinevitable]

I have typed this out like 7 times and then deleted it. May as well go for it.

I really want to understand the little thing the casket rests on top of. Is this like, a winch thing, or is it just a flat thing that holds the casket up and is removed to lower it into the grave, or what. If it lowers the casket, how do they get the straps out from under it? Do they just jimmy them around until they come out? that seems kind of disrespectful.

until I went to my first funeral, which was extremely recently, I didn't realize that part of what is really upsetting about funerals is that this box is there, and this person you love is in the box.

[Bobby Isosceles]

I have typed this out like 7 times and then deleted it. May as well go for it.

I really want to understand the little thing the casket rests on top of. Is this like, a winch thing, or is it just a flat thing that holds the casket up and is removed to lower it into the grave, or what. If it lowers the casket, how do they get the straps out from under it? Do they just jimmy them around until they come out? that seems kind of disrespectful.

until I went to my first funeral, which was extremely recently, I didn't realize that part of what is really upsetting about funerals is that this box is there, and this person you love is in the box.

What it is is a way to keep straps taut until you put the box on it. Then you use the winch to make the straps less taut (there is a lot of strap) and this lowers the coffin into the ground. Once done they slide the straps by pulling it from one side and it slips under the coffin. The box is not jimmied. It is extraordinarily heavy (I've been a pallbearer).

[CortJstr]

I was a pallbearer for my grandfather. I don't remember a lot from the day but I remember the casket being much lighter than I expected.

[Bobby Isosceles]

I was a pallbearer for my grandfather. I don't remember a lot from the day but I remember the casket being much lighter than I expected.

When I die, I want my coffin to be a battering ram used to knock down the barricaded doors of the blacklit cathedral. It will be heaved by six burly men dressed like vikings and promptly hurled into a pit of molten lava at the apse. Then a choir of tall, skinny goth chicks will sing on cue: fuck THIS guy!

The stakes have been raised. Your move, Cassandra.

[pmcd9]

Is there something wrong with Faygo? I stopped off at Oleason's in Michigan and carted a 12 pack of it back to Cali and it did no harm.

I've never tasted it, but based on that video I get the impression it's the dopest shit ever.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Well, I can confirm that it does just fine with ice cubes and rum added to it, but it's just a flavoured cola on rent in the end.

About the grand burial dreams...just my opinion but who gives a toss? I'd hope I've done enough in my life that a burying wouldn't be a thing necessary to remember me by. Kick me in a hole and go to the after-party already.

But hey, it ain't for me and I won't be there to plan it so...whatever.

Death is the time when you guilt all of your friends and family into humoring you into doing the things they wouldnt be willing to do for you when you were alive. Like re-enact the Ramayana with Segways and compound bows instead of chariots and recurve bows. All with nightvision goggles on your third inner eye.

[AugustWest]

About the grand burial dreams...just my opinion but who gives a toss? I'd hope I've done enough in my life that a burying wouldn't be a thing necessary to remember me by. Kick me in a hole and go to the after-party already.

But hey, it ain't for me and I won't be there to plan it so...whatever.

What he said. 

Make me into Soylent Green.  Like I give a fuck.

[AugustWest]

Like re-enact the Ramayana with Segways and compound bows instead of chariots and recurve bows. All with nightvision goggles on your third inner eye.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[greenkoolayd]

faygo is thier soda of choice because its cheap(er than other sodas, apparently).  wallowing in their own trashiness is a thing.

[pmcd9]

About the grand burial dreams...just my opinion but who gives a toss? I'd hope I've done enough in my life that a burying wouldn't be a thing necessary to remember me by. Kick me in a hole and go to the after-party already.

Well I don't know how much of this he asked for, but we sent my friend out in style.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Well I don't know how much of this he asked for, but we sent my friend out in style.

I like this.  I like that you did your best to celebrate your friend's life rather than wallowing in sadness.  Not that you're not sad, it's inevitable, but you make the best of it.  I hope to be sent out this well.

Either that or have my ashes shot out of a cannon like Hunter S. Thompson.

[Doc]

Well I don't know how much of this he asked for, but we sent my friend out in style.

Very nice.
My dad always jokes he wants a viking funeral with his dog on his surfboard. Luckily he's pretty hardy so I've got a while to work out the legality of that.