This is a viable business option, IMHO.
Awww. You guys are sweet. This is my retirement dream, when the kids are out of the house and we are independently wealthy and don't need to actually make money for the first few years.
Also, I would like to open a hobby and game store that sells yarn, scrapbooking/papercraft stuff, Warhammer/tabletop gaming equipment, and model-building supplies, and call it "His & Hers Hobbies." We would have frequent events that encouraged men's knitting groups, women-only Warhammer leagues, couples' "date night" events, and, of course, singles mixers. But that's a relatively recent dream that I haven't worked out as well yet. Should we have a separate thread for harebraned schemes?
You know there is another way to approach at least some of these things, and that is to throw money at the problem. We have a housecleaner come every other week. It is a very good investment in domestic tranquility, given the number of arguments that just don't happen because of it. It doesn't get everything done, but at least there is a set of things that just never have to even get discussed.
We're too short on money at the moment, having just moved, but we have already agreed to hire a lawn service as soon as our yard appears to need attention (we have so many trees and so much shade that we actually haven't had to mow the law even once since we moved in here in August). The most Pedro's had to do is blow the leaves to the street so the leaf fairies can pick them up.
And I don't mind doing the housework myself, as long as I can actually get around to doing the housework, you know? Because, in contrast to what smells said, sometimes there are things that don't get done around here that actually do lead to the scenario where things fall apart a little bit. I won't go into it because it sounds like whining, but there are days when I don't actually have time to brush my teeth, let alone do any of the other things that are necessary to keep the house going. And if I have three or four of those days in a row...it gets bad. Very bad.
Amen. If only all couples had this outlook...what a blessing. In my marriage, we have the former (a laid-back attitude about what needs to be done), but not the latter (support and agreement on what needs to be done), nor motivation (to get the shit done). Thus our house is a mess and no one bothers to do anything about it until I get sick of it, and angry that I have to do it all if it's gonna get done.
This.
Well, almost. Yes, laid-back attitude. I don't expect my home to look like a spread in Southern Living. I do expect to be able to walk through my living room without wading through ankle-deep toys (though that's fine in the playroom), and I do expect to have food to eat, clean dishes to eat off of, and clean clothes to wear. I don't remember the last time I dusted. I don't clean toilets and sinks unless they are visibly dirty *and* we have company coming. I don't clean the sink Pedro shaves in at all, because nobody uses that bathroom but him. We're talking very minimal housekeeping standards, here. And usually, I don't even manage that.
But there are larger things beyond the housework that need doing. This house is 40 years old. It wasn't well cared for these last 15 years. Things are broken that we need to fix, and managing the projects is the real challenge. Nights don't offer enough time, and Pedro doesn't like to do them on weekends because, in his mind, Saturdays are for fun and frolic.
So there's an agreement that these things need to be done, and even a motivation to do them, but it seems like what we lack is the opportunity. Either the kids are running around, or we don't have enough time to do something from start to finish while the kids are with a sitter. And I guess that's where breaking down a task into smaller components would help. But I guess it's not a communication problem or a motivation problem, it's a problem where opportunities don't readily present themselves. And I am all about creating our own opportunities, by making lists and scheduling things in advance, but that's where I get the push-back. Pedro is very spontaneous, but spontaneity doesn't usually get the bedrooms painted, you know?
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Topic: Organizization Codependency (Read 16441 times)