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@achewood Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode.

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Author Topic: Aminals  (Read 232346 times)

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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1020 on: October 19, 2018, 12:26:27 pm »
Egads. I know stuff like that is a reality when dealing with animals, but I'd be washing my hands the rest of the day if that happened.
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AugustWest

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1021 on: October 19, 2018, 06:44:34 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on October 18, 2018, 08:04:29 pm
Fair story: We made a little caravan to load livestock into the fair. I loaded up the sheep and goats in a truck bed pen and Bubba (yes, really!) pulled a 24' stock trailer for the steers and pigs. We got the goats and sheep loaded easy, you just walk them up and shove them in. The steer you halter up and walk in easy like. Pigs...fuck pigs.

We put a ramp up to walk them into the trailer and then we use hog boards to direct and box them in. Well, we got the last one up the ramp and when it went to turn the corner into the trailer it didn't like the truck load af angry swine and tried to back out. After chivvying six of the bastard beasts into the trailer I wasn't about to let this one start the process over so I shot my left arm out and straight armed that porker and grabbed it by the left ham and shoved it the rest of the way in.

The pig gladly went along with this plan because, in grabbing him by the ham and shoving, my left thumb went all the way to the base in his asshole. He even made a surprised little "GRUNT" as he hopped in.

About eight of the parents and kids there saw this and everyone generally lost their shit for about 30 seconds.

I went in and washed my hands, but people wiggled their damn thumbs at me and made 'oink oink' sounds all fair week.

I guess it was funny. Also, it didn't feel bad from my side of the deal.

Did the pig keep winking at you flirtatiously?
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1022 on: October 19, 2018, 07:02:15 pm »
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wombat

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1023 on: October 30, 2018, 01:12:03 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on October 29, 2018, 06:10:56 pm
That hoss is really coming around, he almost trusts me not to murder him anymore.


You can't blame him for being suspicious, just look at your last post !
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1024 on: November 02, 2018, 10:25:42 pm »
Quote from: wombat on October 16, 2018, 12:14:24 am
why buy males when you could become a goat cheese lunatic?

I didn't know you had to buy a goat to be a goat cheese lunatic. Have I been doing it wrong again?
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1025 on: November 02, 2018, 10:36:14 pm »
No, you're fine, that's a different kind of goat cheese lunatic. :)
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1026 on: November 03, 2018, 04:15:09 am »
Quote from: wombat on November 02, 2018, 10:36:14 pm
No, you're fine, that's a different kind of goat cheese lunatic. :)

I actually don't have a whole lot of experience with goat cheese. That shit is expensive.
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1027 on: November 19, 2018, 03:23:48 pm »
Whoa, I was missing a lot of goat action while I was in Japan.
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1028 on: November 19, 2018, 07:07:44 pm »
Like our response is really going to make a difference...
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1029 on: November 21, 2018, 01:14:08 am »
"Dude" is his name, I assume, and I don't want to hear otherwise.
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1030 on: November 24, 2018, 01:58:29 am »
Congrats on the new addition!
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1031 on: November 26, 2018, 12:56:43 pm »
You need to give that good boy hell of treats.
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1032 on: November 29, 2018, 07:27:22 pm »
congrats on the big dummy!
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1033 on: December 10, 2018, 08:33:17 pm »
Did you enlist the help of a farm hand?
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Re: Aminals
« Reply #1034 on: December 10, 2018, 11:51:58 pm »
I think you have to keep Goaty Goat because he is so matchy with the new dog.
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc
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