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[jay-ell]

We have instituted an allowance, which is dependent on their completing simple chores, and on their getting ready for bed in a timely fashion (and come Sept. 7, getting ready for school in a timely fashion).  So they are fine being told what to do, so long as there is financial gain involved.  That is to say, we are preparing them well for their future as tools of the capitalist machine.

My parents never gave me an allowance, nor did I have set chores to do. (It was more of a "come help me with this" whenever I was foolish enough to hang around nearby when Mom was doing housework.) And when I wanted something, they either bought it for me or explained to me why it wasn't a good idea for me to have it.

This is probably why I'm a government-loving socialist now.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need...and let Big Brother tell you what's good for you, if you know what's good for you...

[side_show]

I'm not cool when I call in sick to work, then  spend most of my time in my sick bed thinking about work, solving work-related problems and otherwise working things out for work, rather than... you know watching cartoons.

[littlefallsmets]

I'm not cool when I promised to read a friend's script for him promptly and then I stayed up all night listening to "Perfect from Now On" and watching little internet films making fun of bad movies.

[arkabee]

I'm not cool when I ... stayed up all night listening to "Perfect from Now On"

DOES NOT COMPUTE!
ERROR ON LINE STOP MAKING THAT SOUND

[Nabubrush]

I saw Built to Spill last year. Brett Nelson (I think) said "here's a game where people guess who's on Doug's shirt" - it was Vonnegut, but people were shouting shit like Jerry Garcia (Doug's response? "Who is Larry Garcia?"). I couldn't hear what he said, but then my wife told me later. I went up to the stage where they are all dicking around after the show, and I shook Doug's hand and said "Kurt Vonnegut" and he told me I won and gave me a drumstick.

[greenkoolayd]

i am not cool when i get my ass handed to me by a 3 year old girl after an entire afternoon of lets-go-look-at-field-corn-and-stomp-the-remnants-of-the-stalks-into-the-ground/piggy-back ride adventure/looking for squirrels/tag/hide-and-go-seek.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Well then maybe you should make some friends your own age, dude.

[littlefallsmets]

I am not cool when I am half delirious from an ear infection.

[side_show]

... I'm cleaning up blight-riddled, rotten tomatoes and have slug get on my hand and dance around on the spot going "eww, eww, ewwwww!"

[Nabubrush]

You are all cool in your own way.

[pmcd9]

I am not cool when I am watching the entire six season run of Leave it to Beaver and enjoying it immensely.

[arkabee]

... when i pedantically explain to my neighbor that douches are for pu$$ys and enemas are for colons.

he was not cool either.

not a very cool moment, altogether.

[jay-ell]

Technically, couldn't you say that douchebags are for pussies and enemas are for assholes?

Is there a slang term for enema-related paraphernalia that doubles as an insult? If so, there may be some cleverness in that conversation yet.