If y'all could see the vaguely worded, poorly written policy on harassment I agreed to (along with all the other poorly written policy I agreed to) way back as a new employee, you would understand the trap I'm in. The wording is so non specific it can be easily manipulated to suit HR and managements needs. I could easily jump this hoop and have them decide there's a another dozen hoops I need to jump.
What I've come to is this: I do not give a fuck about the punitive and disciplinary actions HR and management may or may not want to take, and I am not interested in the hoop jumping required to satisfy their desire for me to act in a semantically appropriate fashion so that they can or can not proceed with whatever it is they plan to do. I have no power over that, and it's their problem to solve, not mine. What I need is to work in a non-hostile work environment, and what I truly need to do is to heal and forgive. To be clear: forgiveness is not about saying her behavior is okay. Forgiveness is about me undertaking the healing I need in order for this situation to no longer have power over me, so that I can move forward with living honestly and respectfully while letting go of the pain I've experienced.
What I'm counter proposing to HR and Management is a sharing circle, which is a cultural practice we all frequently provide to the families and youth we support at our agency, where all affected people (management, this lady, the other staff involved) sit together, we pass an eagle feather around the circle twice and each person gets to say their piece (you only speak when holding the feather). I've become emotionally stuck, and I need to let this out to let it go. What I need is to state to her how her behavior has hurt me, in a room with others as both witnesses and support, and to hold her accountable to change her behavior. Likewise, management and other staff need to be accountable and a sharing circle requires the partici##### to both state and bare witness to their role in moving forward. In return, I will be held accountable and gain understanding of any role I have in preventing this from escalating based on what everyone else shares.
In essence this blows the bureaucracy out of the water, and takes it to the human level. It demands huge courage from me, but it also demands that everyone stop hiding and come out into the open, which has so far been central to the problem. It demands this lady be accountable and if she isn't there will be group of witnesses to her behavior who are unable to deny it. This is me taking ownership of the problem.
Yup, so wish me luck.