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@achewood I once had the idea that, if only for a moment each night, everyone in the world was asleep at the same time. It made the world manageable.

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Author Topic: Shit my ________ says  (Read 283550 times)

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miles

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #405 on: March 12, 2011, 02:04:31 pm »

Quote from: crazy email
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

Terrible. Not even funny.
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side_show

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #406 on: March 13, 2011, 02:06:51 am »

That call center jab is right on actually.  I had to call the help line of the server for a clients website and the dude was Indian/Pakatanian and I think he was speaking English, but I couldn't understand a word of it.  I finally had to hang up in frustration because I couldn't understand what he was saying.  From the few words I could make out I'm pretty sure he wasn't understanding me either.

Winnipeg used to be North America's main home of call centres.   I know I mentioned it before here, but they used to tell us to be evasive and say we were located "North of Minneapolis" if asked and to not correct people when they said they were glad to be speaking to an American.  It was the easiest job to get back in the day.  Get minimum wage to sit at a desk surfing web comics while high?  Sure, why not.  The AT&T/Fed Ex call centre is where I met my husband, and I worked for a Publisher's Clearing House/Skoal/Krispy Kreme call centre briefly, as well as a Mastercard one.  The AT&T/Fed Ex call centre was the size of four football fields when I worked there.  All those call centres slowly trained their replacement centres in the Philippines or India and the local ones have since closed.  I remember my friend who was a manager for Fed-ex's call centre got to go to the Philippines to teach the workers there about American intonation and sarcasm.  It's actually pretty hard to discern if someone is being disingenuous in tone when the language their speaking isn't your mother tongue.
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wombat

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #407 on: March 13, 2011, 02:32:47 am »

a Publisher's Clearing House/Skoal/Krispy Kreme call centre

Do you mean every time you answered the phone it might be any one of the three? That would be kind of mind bending.
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side_show

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #408 on: March 13, 2011, 02:42:52 am »

Actually, it was for more than the three - there was actually about six or seven companies, I just can't recall the rest.  One was a dairy company, another was a contact lens recall refund line.  The multiple companies is what made it particularly stressful.  There was computer system that would tell you who the caller was calling for and would bring up the appropriate screen for whatever company the caller was calling for.  It was pretty horrible.  I basically quit one day after training. 
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lprkn

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #409 on: March 13, 2011, 03:51:54 am »

I'm just trying to figure out why anybody would need to call a Krispy Kreme or Skoal help line.
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side_show

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #410 on: March 13, 2011, 04:05:07 am »

The two main reasons people called the Krispy Kreme line was:  1) mostly to rave about how good the donuts were and 2) to ask about how to get a Krispy Kreme wedding cake.  The people who wanted the cakes were typically apologetic and shameful, which was a nice touch.

The two main reasons people called the Skoal line was 1) because they were 18 or older and had read the add about calling for a free sample of Skoal Berry Blend and 2) because they were under 18 and had read about calling for a free sample of Skoal Berry Blend.  I had to disappoint a handful of not-so-smart underage kids that first day, and it helped me make the decision to quit all the faster. 
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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #411 on: March 17, 2011, 05:12:53 pm »

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

Terrible. Not even funny.

Also ridiculously old.
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theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #412 on: March 19, 2011, 04:23:43 pm »

my grandfather sent me a link to this pleasant sounding, meaningless BS and then sent me an email making sure I got the facebook link. Having a really hard time not being a little shit about it, because I am hungover and grumpy about needing to go to work.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

JorgeFabregas

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #413 on: March 19, 2011, 06:25:17 pm »

I work at a call center with about 1000 other 'mericans. A subset of calls are handled in India, but my employer will supposedly end the contract with that call center this year.
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theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #414 on: March 21, 2011, 05:51:26 pm »

this guy said he wasn't buying meat or beef for a while because he is afraid of the cows eating grass that has radiation on it, from Japan.

I almost said "it's really cute that you think cows eat grass" but I restrained myself.

also yesterday I told a coworker "you need to chill the FUCK out" but I don't think he heard me. Probably good?
He was losing his shit about a customer making a reasonable request, in front of the customer. It was extremely ridiculous. Then he demanded to be transferred to a different department, as if he doesn't have a primo job.
Man, 60-something white dudes who work at grocery stores suck a lot. They all act like they are owed something for being old and having a shitty job.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2011, 06:06:35 pm by theinevitable »
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #415 on: March 21, 2011, 07:06:17 pm »

Man, 60-something white dudes who work at grocery stores suck a lot. They all act like they are owed something for being old and having a shitty job.

We bought a jigsaw at Home Depot last time I was home and holy crap was that old geezer pissed of. Same deal. I'm all for being shitty about the job, but not in front of the customer.
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #416 on: March 25, 2011, 05:54:26 am »

Okay, this one was short and sweet.

Quote
Solution to the problem in Libya:  They want a new Muslim leader.  I say, give them ours.
         
Solves 2 problems.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #417 on: March 25, 2011, 01:26:29 pm »

Well, it's somewhat witty and not seventeen pages long, so there's that.

Did you get it from Donald Trump?
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AugustWest

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #418 on: March 25, 2011, 01:52:03 pm »

Apparently our "Muslim" president is furthering the international Muslim conspiracy by not only continuing to bomb the shit out of the same Muslim countries that Bush did, but also by bombing entirely new Muslim countries!
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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #419 on: March 25, 2011, 04:03:27 pm »

Apparently our "Muslim" president is furthering the international Muslim conspiracy by not only continuing to bomb the shit out of the same Muslim countries that Bush did, but also by bombing entirely new Muslim countries!

"You're doing it wrong!"
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