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[side_show]

This reminds me of some of the conversations around my office.  We're a very food-centric office, someone's always bringing in something they or their partner has made to share.  What a kind, considerate thing to do, right?  The food is typically placed on a file cabinet right next to my desk, so I get all the shame spiralling on full display as people eat.  Watching people talk about how "bad" a food is while they eat a whole bunch of it has really taught me a lot about how unhealthy people's attitudes toward food and eating are in our culture.  As people self-shame I repeat my new mantra "food isn't poison" (aloud) or list off some of the "positive" nutritional contents of whatever food the person/people are shaming on, such as calcium and protein in cheesecake.   I hate to say it, but the typical culprits for such behavior are mostly ladies.  

[KeithHernandez]

I have that same problem with smokers.  While that mantra wouldn't work, it is the same thing.  It seems like half the people smoke cigarettes just to bitch about wanting to stop smoking.  If you are trying to quit I am all for that and will encourage you (as someone who understands facts, such as smoking is awful for you.)  On the other hand, as someone who legitimately loves smoking, fuck you if you just complain about wanting to quit and never, ever do anything to work towards that.  I smoke because I like smoking, and I generally think people should do something because they like it.  The only time in my life I have ever quit smoking is when I was living with three dudes (myself included) in a tiny apartment.  I slept on the floor right next to a futon that one of the other dudes slept on.  This guy was constantly talking about how he needed to stop, so I eventually cracked and just said fuck you, this is my last cigarette for a month.  I lasted three weeks, but at least I showed him that you can do shit instead of just bitching.  I also only went back because of a particular stimulant that can go unnamed, so that is pretty understandable, and certainly was understandable/ didn't undo the point for him.

I know there are at least a few people on here who specialize in this type of thing, so:  the hardest thing about stopping smoking for me was looking at myself as a non-smoker.  Is this a common thing that has to be broken in addicts?  Not even the act of smoking, just presenting myself to the world in an alternate way.  I am comfortable in the smoker role.

[Nabubrush]

Quitting smoking was one of the most fucked experiences of my life. I'm glad I did it, but it was awful.

[KeithHernandez]

Yeah, I get it's hard and give people trying support, but you know those people who only smoke to complain about smoking and aren't actually going to quit- ugh

[Nabubrush]

Complaining is delicious - it is made of baby tears.

[greenkoolayd]

plus, you can be self-righteously indignant about not being able to smoke inside anywhere public.

[jay-ell]

I sort of half-assedly tried to quit for a number of years, and I managed to get down to the point where I was having a couple of cigs (after not smoking all day) with a beer after supper. Then I got pregnant and that was all the motivation I needed, apparently. It also helped that I wasn't drinking; to this day, when I got to a bar, I want to smoke. Which sucks because all bars are nonsmoking here now, unless they have patios. (Many do, but that doesn't do much good when it's over 90 or under 40.)

I'd rather smoke than drink any day; when I go out with the girls (twice a year?), I get myself a pack of cigs and order diet cokes all night and do all the driving. I really enjoy a good cigarette, even now.

But I don't *need* it like I used to. I was a pack-and-a-half-a-day smoker in college; now I smoke, like I said, maybe twice a year, and I savor every puff.

I still consider myself, generally, a non-smoker, though. It is a shift in your mentality to stop thinking of yourself as a smoker, it does become part of your identity, especially if you belong to a social group in which the majority smokes.

[miles]

I used to really enjoy smoking, but never formed a habit. I smoked for an entire month when I was in Germany and gave it up when I got back home. For a few years after that, if I was out drinking and someone offered a cigarette, I would gladly accept and enjoy it immensely. Then I just didn't smoke at all for a long time. Last time I tried to smoke, sometime last year, I almost threw up.

[side_show]

I know there are at least a few people on here who specialize in this type of thing, so:  the hardest thing about stopping smoking for me was looking at myself as a non-smoker.  Is this a common thing that has to be broken in addicts?  Not even the act of smoking, just presenting myself to the world in an alternate way.  I am comfortable in the smoker role.

Yes, definitely.  The use of a substance can easily become associated with someone's identity.  My friend has recently quit smoking after half a lifetime of doing it and she's worried about identity issues "it was the only thing that made me cool."  I assured her that plenty of things made her cool, but that if she liked, she could do other things to make her feel more cool such as getting more tattoos.  She thought it was a pretty funny idea and we talked about how irrational but funny it would be that she could get a tattoo gun and just tattoo herself whenever she felt like a loser.  It was interesting to me that she said that, because I never considered smoking as something that makes my friend or others cool - I consider it the opposite.  Still though, there are groups of people who are peers because they are smokers, crack users, pot heads...  There's a nice feeling of acceptance there among the peer group.  I certainly was a part of a peer group as a heavy pot user at one point.  I had a lot of "friends" who I actually had little in common with apart from our mutual enjoyment of pot use.  It's sort of like being at a concert - you feel a strong sense of oneness, like-mindedness and coolness with your fellow audience members at the time of the show, when really you wouldn't necessarily enjoy most of the same people's company in another setting, and they wont necessarily like you outside the shared experience either.

[greenkoolayd]

[[shakes head disapprovingly]]

[Nabubrush]

Not ok. Not even clever.

[pmcd9]

I've seen a lot of "You know you're from ______ if..." groups popping up on Facebook.  I guess this is just a continuation of the stupidification of Facebook.  I would happily ignore it except I was added to "You know you're from Aldine (that's my alma mater) if..." 

I just happened across this gem.

"You know you're from Aldine: If you really liked Elton John and Queen's music for years before you learned they were gay."

which inevitably led to this...
"I still love them! I still love all the old music from then. The Eagles, and ZZ-Top. Bad Company, Edgar Winters, Johnny Winters, Deep Purple... alot of good music.  We are THE generation that was blessed with the best music."

And finally we got to this...
"Thnx, Joe. Journey is my all-time forever and ever favorite."

"Oh, yeah! NO one can replace Steve Perry!"

I've never been to any of my reunions.

[Nabubrush]

I quite enjoyed your post, roughly "you know you're from Aldine if you couldn't wait to get the fuck out".

[pmcd9]

I quite enjoyed your post, roughly "you know you're from Aldine if you couldn't wait to get the fuck out".

No doubt.  Oh and while we're on the subject.  Lady who I dated 20 something years ago who cheated on me and stole 800 dollars.  No, I don't want to call you and catch up on old times.  I only accepted your friend request so I could see what you look like now.  Yay, you're old and haggard.   

[side_show]

No doubt.  Oh and while we're on the subject.  Lady who I dated 20 something years ago who cheated on me and stole 800 dollars.  No, I don't want to call you and catch up on old times.  I only accepted your friend request so I could see what you look like now.  Yay, you're old and haggard.   

Ha ha, oh Paul, I'm glad that someone I consider to be kind did such a thing on Facebook.  Sort of makes me feel better for being secretly pleased when I found FB photos of a guy who broke my heart long ago with his wife.  She has these massive hoss teeth where you see a lot of gum when she smiles, and it wasn't just one photo, but all of them including the pro-wedding shots, which means that's the way her face looks all the time.  I try not to be too pleased about this.