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@achewood My bicycle is parked in the living room. A tub of tartar sauce sits open on the counter. Truly, the evidence of a wife being away too long.

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Author Topic: Shit my ________ says  (Read 282680 times)

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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1710 on: December 17, 2013, 12:55:09 am »

"I can watch the notebook over and over and over again and it never gets old."
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1711 on: December 17, 2013, 01:58:39 am »

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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

ianmalcolm2

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1712 on: December 17, 2013, 03:33:05 am »

Yeah, thank god all those peaceful, pot-smokin' 17-year-olds co-opted it

...
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Nothing else I could say would make more sense given what I own and what I am doing at this moment.

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1713 on: December 17, 2013, 04:20:31 am »

OH NO, I WANTED A HOLIDAY TREE TO CELEBRATE MY NON-CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY, FOR SOME REASON
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1714 on: December 17, 2013, 07:10:32 am »



That sign is clearly photoshopped which lessens it's impact I think. It would mean more, and maybe even be slightly amusing if it were an actual business owner trolling the public, but it's actually just some asshole trolling Facebook.
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wombat

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1715 on: December 17, 2013, 01:45:07 pm »

Poorly photoshopped at that. I mean, at least make an effort.
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1716 on: December 18, 2013, 08:04:37 pm »

Written under a photo of a $20 bill.

"***A MUST READ **** A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it...?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special-Don't EVER forget it." If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it may bring. Count your blessings, not your problems."

My response.

"The thing is though, we are not like a $20 bill. If you crumple us and throw us to the ground it can cause irreparable damage. We are more like a slice of toast that gets dropped. If we land butter side up you're gonna pick us up, brush off the dust and eat us anyway. If we land butter side down you're probably gonna just let the dog eat us. No, that's not quite right either. Okay, we're more like a red rubber ball that can bounce tremendously high. Sometimes though we wind up bouncing behind the sofa and get forgotten about. Hmm... Let me try this one more time. Wait, where are you going...?"
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I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1717 on: December 18, 2013, 09:26:27 pm »

Also a $20 bill never says or does things to you to the point where you avoid $20 bills for the rest of your life and just take 2 10s or 4 5s.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1718 on: December 18, 2013, 11:14:46 pm »

You can cause damage to a person, but that does not make them worth less as a human. I think that is a good analogy even if it is incredibly corny and coming from "a well-known speaker."

this guy touches on this.
Quote
Then how do people get better? (Hmmmm...) well, from my understanding people get better when they start to understand that they are valuable. and they not valuable because they got a whole lot of money, or cause somebody, think they sexy, but they valuable cause they been created by God.

I don't think it is because of God, but I do think that all humans have an inherent value which you cannot destroy.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1719 on: December 20, 2013, 01:25:32 am »

Duck Dynasty fans do not understand how the first amendment works.

edit:

Apparently Neither do Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2013, 01:30:26 am by pmcd9 »
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1720 on: December 20, 2013, 04:13:03 am »

I'm back to my Happy Happy Happy place. I realized this whole thing is a great opportunity to unfollow some Facebook friends.
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1721 on: December 21, 2013, 06:37:53 pm »

I'm back to my Happy Happy Happy place. I realized this whole thing is a great opportunity to unfollow some Facebook friends.

Hey, this new litmus Phil Robertson litmus test is working out pretty good. Came upon this little gem just before hitting the unfriend button.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1722 on: December 21, 2013, 06:47:05 pm »

The best part about the ducky dynasty fiasco was how they explained it was all a scripted show with contrived characters.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1723 on: December 22, 2013, 12:21:09 am »

This woman was buying a homeless guy coffee:

"So, um, I guess you live downtown?"
"yeah, I live in a loft on Washington Avenue"
"oh, geez, that must be... expensive?"
"my rent is $1500 a month."

Yikes.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1724 on: December 22, 2013, 05:57:35 am »

Today a customer saw me in Saks 5th Avenue. I said hi, and she asked "what are you doing here?"
"oh, I came to the mall to get a present for my mom. Haha, not in Saks."
"I know! You totally don't make enough money to shop here, right??"
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
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