If all you SG owners/wanters would excuse my frankness, I think the SG is a crappy model. It was pretty much Les Paul's failed experiment that Gibson never stopped producing.
If you really want a solid, high quality (read: expensive) double-cutaway, you should get a PRS. If you really want a Gibson, you should get a Les Paul. Also alot of Les Pauls aren't good, you got to find a good one. And PRS's are ugly and boring.
It's just that the SG body feels so weak to me. I'm sure you can find ones with good sustain, but I dunno... I just find the bodies too wafer-ish and small. But when I play a LP it makes me think, "I could kill a man with this. And not just by hitting him with it, also by playing the perfect note."
And SGs are red. red. red. red. I don't dislike it, but when I see a LP with the just the perfect finish... I feel my soul cum. Natural sunburst. Honeyburst. Heritage cherry sunburst. White (gold hardware). Black. Fuck. Looking into the finish of a Les Paul > looking into your lover's eyes.
But when it comes down to it, I think all electric guitars should die. I could go the rest of my life not hearing distorted guitar ever again and be perfectly happy. Sick of steel strings too, my next guitar is nylon acoustic electric, probably a Yamaha. Everyone should be playing acoustics, but as soon as the crap you're playing starts sounding like folk music, the guitar should be kicked in and destroyed.
Ideally I would have all guitars destroyed except for fretless basses and lap steels. Get with the times people.
You know that I love you, RG, but based on many of the things you wrote, I'm going to take your advice with a grain of salt. I've seen SGs in red, black, woodgrain, and other finishes.
I was going to get snarky here about people who've played them (surprise, surprise, I know) but I'll just lay out that Keef and Mick Taylor both played them at times, as did Zappa. Jimmy Page played that doubleneck which wasn't really an SG but kind of was. Carl Perkins. John McLaughlin. George Harrison. Etc. None of this really matters - I started this thread looking for advice, and I've gotten some good stuff. I'm not looking for a fretless bass or a lap steel, so rock on with your bad self, brother! I promise I will never play distorted guitar for you unless you specifically ask me to.