The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood The next time you appreciate how nice large titties look, be happy and smile to yourself. You deserve it.

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4   Go Down

Author Topic: Lesson of the Day...  (Read 8453 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mr Trout

  • Lyle
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 65528
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 493
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #30 on: November 09, 2011, 06:41:01 pm »
Variation of this:

Someone holds open the door of a train on the near tracks for so long that in the meantime your train arrives and departs on the far tracks, causing you to be late for work.
Logged

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #31 on: November 09, 2011, 08:44:50 pm »
Today I learned that there are vibrators with remote controls.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #32 on: November 10, 2011, 03:41:34 pm »
Quote from: wombat on November 09, 2011, 08:44:50 pm
Today I learned that there are vibrators with remote controls.

Pouring one out for lost innocence.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #33 on: November 10, 2011, 05:16:03 pm »
If you use an electric device to remove hair from your legs, don't do your ankles first, then change your mind and decide to start at the top and work your way down past the knee. You will run out of batteries, and it will look like you are wearing fuzzy legwarmers.
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #34 on: November 10, 2011, 06:07:25 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush on November 10, 2011, 03:41:34 pm
Pouring one out for lost innocence.

But I haven't figured out why you'd want to be far enough away from a vibrator that you'd need a remote control, so I must still have some innocence left.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #35 on: November 10, 2011, 07:32:27 pm »
Quote from: wombat on November 10, 2011, 06:07:25 pm
But I haven't figured out why you'd want to be far enough away from a vibrator that you'd need a remote control, so I must still have some innocence left.

Do you ever.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #36 on: November 10, 2011, 07:35:35 pm »
The only problem with that deal for practical purposes is that those vibrators tend to make a fair bit of noise.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #37 on: November 10, 2011, 07:39:42 pm »
Actually I can imagine it would be useful for practical jokes, and the noise would be good for that.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #38 on: November 10, 2011, 07:40:52 pm »
Quote from: wombat on November 10, 2011, 07:39:42 pm
Actually I can imagine it would be useful for practical jokes, and the noise would be good for that.

Yeah . . . . our minds aren't exactly on the same wavelength here, but that sure is one thing you could do with it.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #39 on: November 10, 2011, 08:38:29 pm »
Quote from: wombat on November 10, 2011, 06:07:25 pm
But I haven't figured out why you'd want to be far enough away from a vibrator that you'd need a remote control, so I must still have some innocence left.

Should I tell her, guys? Or should I let her keep her innocence and just let her go on thinking that some people are very, very tall?
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #40 on: November 10, 2011, 09:28:43 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush on November 10, 2011, 07:35:35 pm
The only problem with that deal for practical purposes is that those vibrators tend to make a fair bit of noise.

The lady at the store told me which ones were quietest, and she put batteries in them so I could decide. The one I got is very stealthy.
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #41 on: November 11, 2011, 02:23:48 am »
So if when Pedro uses that in public he has to say 'Stealth mode: Activated'
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #42 on: November 11, 2011, 03:54:28 pm »
If you go to sleep with a little bit of popcorn kernel stuck in your teeth, it will still be there in the morning. 
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #43 on: November 12, 2011, 08:16:18 pm »
Quote from: jay-ell on November 09, 2011, 05:42:19 pm
Lesson of the Day: certain bullet vibrators with a wireless remote are tuned to the same frequency, meaning that you can control more than one with the same remote.

Hopefully you will discover this by having the lady at the sex shop test the one you are about to buy and noticing that the other one on the countertop also vibrates when she turns on yours.
Hopefully you will not discover, while out to dinner with your date, that someone else in the restaurant has one, too.

I'm pretty sure this is a scene straight out of the movie Shortbus.
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Lesson of the Day...
« Reply #44 on: November 12, 2011, 09:20:27 pm »
That movie is delightful.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4   Go Up
« previous next »