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What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit? - Nabu

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Author Topic: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next  (Read 8133 times)

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pmcd9

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You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« on: November 20, 2013, 01:24:36 am »
This is mostly directed at Upworthy, but for all of the websites who have made a trend of sensationalistic misleading headlines, I give you a resounding FUCK YOU!
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miles

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2013, 04:00:20 am »
I hate that site. Every time I go there a subscription solicitation pops up and basically says 'if you believe in goodness and want to end all war then give us your email address! If you are a heartless fuckwad then go ahead and just click through to the site, and then die slow fucker.' Or something like that.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

pmcd9

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2013, 04:15:05 am »
Quote from: miles on November 20, 2013, 04:00:20 am
I hate that site. Every time I go there a subscription solicitation pops up

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. EVERY fuck*ng TIME!
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Choop

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2013, 06:29:07 am »
i hadn't heard of that site until this thread. i happened upon this parody a moment ago, which means parody is now lapping me online. i used to be able to stay ahead of it, but i guess i'm getting old.
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wombat

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2013, 02:08:23 pm »
I just saw that too and I don't see why it's supposed to be funny. Maybe the problem is that Upworthy headlines already sound like parodies of themselves.
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What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Carlos del Vaca

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2013, 02:19:03 pm »
I know one easy trick for avoiding such come-ons!
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pmcd9

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2013, 09:06:15 pm »
Quote from: Carlos del Vaca on November 20, 2013, 02:19:03 pm
I know one easy trick for avoiding such come-ons!

Oh I don't click on those links. At least not anymore.
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miles

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2013, 09:19:48 pm »
Try this one WEIRD trick to lose belly fat.
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dejavroom

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2013, 11:18:22 pm »
Oh, man, that copy is so deliciously tacky. Do you think humans write those "headlines", or maybe they outsourced the job to bots?
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pmcd9

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2013, 11:41:44 pm »
Viralnova is another one that has taken up the UpWorthy mantle. I just read this headline on Facebook "A Love Letter was Found on this 500 year old body. Nothing Could Prepare me for What it Said."
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dejavroom

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2013, 01:53:50 am »
They're getting some serious flair there, yeah.

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The absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.

pmcd9

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2013, 02:53:31 am »
This is definitely a subset of Shit my _____ says. Or at least these headlines are designed for that group of people.
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pmcd9

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2013, 10:51:31 pm »
"What This Man Found In A Bag Of Mulch Will Blow Your Mind. What He Did With It Will Melt Your Heart"
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ianmalcolm2

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2013, 12:01:22 am »
The super-elderly of the future will have no need for their brains. The newly sentient Upworthy-CandyCrush combine will create botnets out of senior's homes, and spread its gradual control over the youth one triple-forwarded email at a time.
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pmcd9

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Re: You'll Never Believe What Happens Next
« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2013, 01:31:11 am »
That sounds plausible.
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