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[Choop]

I want to wish everyone at touamb a happy winter. I don't celebrate holidays, but I hope that if you have one it's happy. Today's been lovely. I just wish loveliness for you. Happy christmas or whatever.

[Ben-San]

You guys have a good time with your thing. I got some nice beef jerky off a Kickstarter I funded so I'm feeling pretty okay.

[ianmalcolm2]

Merry Christmas. Ate a croissant and got some sweaters. Feelin' a-ok. Hope y'all have nice days, whatever you're doin.

[Carlos del Vaca]

"Open this. Can I open this?" The non-stop opening and no savoring. The youngest, with no filter, expressing dissatisfaction with gifts, and the dismay that brings. The endless hijacking of conversations with stories about people I don't know or care about, or reminiscing about how you had something like that gift once and what you did with it. God fuck*ng dammit this is why I drink on Christmas.

At least I get to cook a ham later.

[wombat]

Dim sum and chocolate pudding pie. I'm good.

[theinevitable]

I can't stop thinking that my family should put me in charge of Christmas. I would make all the right decisions. Number one rule of Christmas club is that you can't stress about Christmas club. We are going to eat delicious food that isn't stressful to make. We are going to exchange a small number of smaller presents. We will decorate cookies, and drink wine, and watch a silly movie. Hugs. Love. No bickering. Everyone helps with cooking and cleaning.

It could be good, I swear. Even just toning down food and present expectations would make everyone so much more relaxed.

Actually, maybe my mom cooks complicated stuff to avoid the rest of us. In that case I'll make an exception.

The more I interact with my extended family, and other families and people, the more amazed I am at how great my parents are. Glad I have nice parents who aren't jerks. I don't like the jerks so much these days.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Yeah, handling expectations is the thing about Christmas, isn't it? I am never worried as to whether Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July will meet expectations. There will be turkey and stuffing, or baseball and grilled meat and fireworks, and it'll all be cool and everyone will have a good time. But Christmas, ye gods the expectation and trying to meet them.

I am better than I was a few hours ago. I was ready to just leave the fuck*ng house for a while there. Scotch helps. And the ham is in the oven.

[KeithHernandez]

I just woke up.  The girl I like is out of town.  A friend is coming over to make us food.  I am going to get so high as soon as he comes, then go buy myself a pack if smokes as my present to myself (usually I hand roll).  Pretty stoked I guess?  Maybe finish some cleaning.

 The gym is closed also, so fuck Christmas, at least a little.

[miles]

You guys have a good time with your thing. I got some nice beef jerky off a Kickstarter I funded so I'm feeling pretty okay.

Man, the most useful thing I've received in return for funding a kickstarter campaign is a t-shirt. I didn't know you could feed yourself.

[Ben-San]

Man, the most useful thing I've received in return for funding a kickstarter campaign is a t-shirt. I didn't know you could feed yourself.

The trick to getting beef jerky off Kickstarter is to fund beef jerky makers.

[Arachno-capitalist]

As a professional adult I can buy mostly whatever crap I need or want. My family is aware of this and decided all I needed was more cat toys (I don't), some amazon cards, and a blender seen here:

[dejavroom]

Is there a beef jerky revival going on up there, with dudes bringing in all sort of crazy techniques? Down here we're experiencing this phenomenon with beer, everyone seems to be brewing these days.

I had mucho lunch with my mother. It was so good, I wish there was more space in me for itttt. Killed part of the time watching a big bang theory marathon (first time actually watched it) and just wanted to punch everyone inside the TV.

Oh, and Merry Christmas, figments! That we keep doing our thing if only for the look on their faces, is my wish for all of us.

[littlefallsmets]

Ah, the blender that doubles as a sex toy.

[Ben-San]

Is there a beef jerky revival going on up there, with dudes bringing in all sort of crazy techniques? Down here we're experiencing this phenomenon with beer, everyone seems to be brewing these days.

I don't know if it's a revival but I got into artisan beef jerky this year - partly doctor's advice to cut down on sweet snacks and partly just trying to do fewer but better-quality snacks on the whole. There've been at least a few makers who've been doing Kickstarters for new flavors. This particular Kickstarter was for Epic Sriracha Jerky (no points for guessing their signature product) to produce tabasco, wasabi, green curry and orange flavors, with a sampler of the new flavors as a reward. I haven't tried the orange yet but the tabasco and green curry are both great, the wasabi is a letdown though.

[Victoria Waterfield]

Ah, the blender that doubles as a sex toy.

Just make damn sure to keep the lid on.