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[Carlos del Vaca]

On the whole we could probably debate whether Facebook is a good or bad thing all freaking day. But in particular, I have had this thought of late: my high school class has a very active page, and about 80% of what's posted there is prayer requests. We're of a certain age where our parents are dying, and some of us are having health problems of our own. So seemingly every day it's "Please pray for Lurleen, whose mother is in the ICU and may not make it," or "Please pray for Leanne, whose husband was just diagnosed with liver cancer." It's depressing as all get out.

(The prayer thing is its own issue. Not to open a religious can o' worms, but that strikes me as something that lets people feel like they're doing something in a situation where the obviously can't help in any way.)

For my closest friends, I would definitely want to know what's up with them and their families. But for a great many of these high school people, I can't help but wonder if the psychological burden I get from knowing everyone's misfortunes is worth it. I don't get much out of "connecting" with them, certainly not on a day to day basis. And my knowing that Leanne's husband has liver cancer doesn't do me any good, doesn't do them any good really, so why go there?

Is that heartless of me? Perhaps. But there is plenty of sadness in this world and it can pull you down if you spend too much time thinking about it.

[wombat]

I don't get so much of this with people, but with pets. There are always dogs dying that I only know on the internet. Only knowing them on the internet doesn't make it any less sad - and now that I know dogs on the internet I know so many more dogs than a person would know in real life. So there's that much more heartbreak. It's like, we are just not designed to be constantly in touch with that much heartbreak.

[pmcd9]

This is the one thing about Facebook that it is actually useful for. I'm all for people relating things from their actual lives. They can do that all day long and I'll be happy with Facebook. And it's not always sad. We learn lots of good stuff about our friends too. And there are plenty of people who don't like that either so there's just no way to win. But anything that is real is okay fine with me. I'd rather hear about your sick aunt Lurleen than what _____ character you are.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Yeah, maybe I'm too cynical. I should appreciate people's photos of their feet poolside, cute things their kids did, and discussions of lunch more, but it doesn't take long for that stuff to run together and all sound the same.

[wombat]

I'm sure you do, but in general the pugs have more fans than I do.

Which reminds me of another thing - you know that people who are not on social media mock it as being about people posting pictures of their lunch. But it's an extremely reliable generalizations that if I want to get a lot of likes and comments on a Facebook post, I should post something about food. People like to talk about it.

[pmcd9]

I'm sure you do, but in general the pugs have more fans than I do.

Which reminds me of another thing - you know that people who are not on social media mock it as being about people posting pictures of their lunch. But it's an extremely reliable generalizations that if I want to get a lot of likes and comments on a Facebook post, I should post something about food. People like to talk about it.

The more vague you are the more people will be able to project themselves onto whatever. That's why I think pictures of food and pets are so popular. You or I might see a post like 'I had cereal for breakfast' of 'look at my pug' and think 'who fuck*ng cares,' but the post will have 20 comments and not one of them will have anything to do with our friend, it's all about the food or dog. Or maybe it's because food and pets are safe topics. It's easy to talk about those things without starting a fight. 

[theinevitable]

I still read Urban Planning blogs, but all the social justice/leftist blogs had to get deleted from my bookmarks because dealing with that many angry/sad people was making me an unhappy person. I am glad that those people are doing those things, but reading about them all day every day was really messing me up.

On facebook I have pretty much blocked everyone from showing on my feed. You guys show up. My roommates and former roommates. That is about it.

[pmcd9]

I just deleted a friend who posted an article about some hossshit about Indians losing their ability to track because the military made them cut their hair. Actually I only deleted them after they defended the article after I called it bullshit. Later dumbass, I don't need that shit.

[side_show]

I had an aboriginal coworker circulate that story via email at our aboriginal agency via an agency wide email, followed by a few "reply all" from coworkers thanking him for sharing it.  I was filled with Snopesy rage mixed with utter embarrassment for each of the otherwise intelligent people who bought in.  At first I was ready to send out a response dispelling the bullshit, but then I sank into a sort of depression about it. We are still a colonized people.   Sigh. 

As for FB for good or evil, it has been an important tool for keeping me sane as a new mom. There's a lot of good stuff. I don't tend to get the crap stuff, probably because I don't friend people who are not my friends, and I don't make friends with idiots.

[pmcd9]

otherwise intelligent people

I think this is a key phrase. Most of my friends who are idiots on Facebook are otherwise intelligent people.

[pmcd9]

I just found a reason to eliminate 2 more people from my Facebook feed. I love days like today.

[dejavroom]

I preemptively unfollowed 90% of my feed and never looked back.

[pmcd9]

I've gotten almost all of the right wingers and their insane opinions. Now I am working on the lefties who lack a sense of humor. I still have a large contingency of hippies and their feel good nonsense to deal with.

[wombat]

My Facebook thing this week is that someone posted photos of a mutual friend's wedding so now I have to decide whether to be insulted that I wasn't invited. I actually hate going to weddings, but I think I would have gone to this one. I additionally annoyed myself by poking around in the comments of the photos and discovered a couple of people were invited that we'd both worked with who I hadn't seen in years that I would have liked to talk to. On the other hand, probably I'd have caught up with each of them in five minutes and weddings last longer than ten minutes so I'd have spent the rest of the time feeling awkward and unsociable and out of place and remembering why I hate weddings.

I knew she was getting married, but if I hadn't seen these photos, I'd have assumed that someone who was getting married for the first time in her 50s had decided to have a small private ceremony. And we don't have any mutual friends that I ever see in real life anymore so I would probably have never known otherwise. So if it wasn't for Facebook I wouldn't have wasted all this mental energy.

[wombat]

Part of me feels like Facebook isn't to blame. Shouldn't a person grow out of thinking that way even when presented with a situation like this?