The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

But Pat, the Cure is silly! It is silly to like The Cure!

Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines  (Read 8744 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

V-Adore

  • Guest
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« on: February 04, 2004, 09:14:19 pm »
Inspired by the side-topic in the "Watching the Weight" thread about "wide birthing hips." Have you ever gotten hit by a pickup line or an alleged compliment that makes the complimenter just sound like some sort of evil, socially-stunted mastermind? Or at least the "socially stunted" part?

I've gotten a few myself, but I think the king was the guy who tried to pick me up by suggesting a game of chess over e-mail. I'm sorry -- e-mail chess?

A friend of mine once got "on a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 22.85!" (I believe her response was "what, I don't earn that last .15?")
Logged

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2004, 09:26:30 pm »
I was really good friends with this girl who I should have gone out with, but I think I wrecked it when were talking and I told her


"you're not unattractive".

Idjet.
Logged

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2004, 10:06:29 pm »
This isn't a pick-up line, but someone who shall remain nameless told me I had legs like the She-Hulk.  This was intended to be a sincere compliment, but the sheer geekitude of the statement and the oddness of that particular comparison resulted in the complimentor being seriously teased for about a week.  

Later, a mutual friend, upon hearing the story, said, "Oh, man, like on the trading card?  That shit was spankworthy.  That's definitely a compliment, JL."

I think the important thing here is the word spankworthy.  That is all.
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2004, 10:07:45 pm »
Yeah, "you're not unattractive" is like saying "you're kinda ugly."

I have found, though, that if you want your women to stop asking you stupid rhetorical questions while they're giraffeing for compliments, just answer negatively to all of them.

For instance: "Does this dress make me look fat?" should be answered with "Not at all.  It's your big ass that makes you look fat.  Don't go blaming the dress."

Or "Do you think she's pretty?" with "Of course.  She's Charlize Theron."  

"Do you think she's prettier than me?" with "Just about every actress is prettier than you."

Of course, don't expect to have sex, like, ever again.

But at least the house will be quiet.
Logged

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2004, 10:12:20 pm »
Personally, I find it comforting that Pedro will tell me honestly whether or not my butt looks big in those slacks.  After all, who else's opinion do I really care about, anyway?  

Best response ever: "Yes, JL, your butt does look deliciously round and curvaceous in those slacks."
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

slink

  • Mod Squad
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 47
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3051
  • Слінк Ядранко
    • View Profile
    • OMD on MySpace
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2004, 10:26:34 pm »
Quote from: "jldunston"
Personally, I find it comforting that Pedro will tell me honestly whether or not my butt looks big in those slacks.  After all, who else's opinion do I really care about, anyway?  



God I wish I had ever dated a woman like that!
I always end up with those that when they discover I find some actress or something attractive proceed to think they're only second best and make my life hell. Which sucks 'cause in the most important case I never thought she was second best to anything. But then I guess I'm as bad.
Logged
FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2004, 10:58:42 pm »
This is why those celebrity sex-lists can save your relationship! Just make sure not to pick somebody too realistic* or that can get you in trouble, too.

Plus it's really fun when both of you pick the same person.

*like, say, a minor or local celebrity that you know lives an hour away.
Logged

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2004, 11:48:43 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Plus it's really fun when both of you pick the same person.


Amen.
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2004, 01:11:40 am »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
This is why those celebrity sex-lists can save your relationship! Just make sure not to pick somebody too realistic* or that can get you in trouble, too.

Plus it's really fun when both of you pick the same person.

*like, say, a minor or local celebrity that you know lives an hour away.


**and is willing to come over and service both of you while being videotaped.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2004, 01:36:40 am »
Too bad I broke up with the girl and the celebrity moved to NY.
Logged

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2004, 01:43:16 am »
They're probably together. Think about that for awhile.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2004, 01:47:51 am »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
They're probably together. Think about that for awhile.


<squeaky voice>I've got to run to the bathroom!</squeaky voice>
Logged

slink

  • Mod Squad
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 47
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3051
  • Слінк Ядранко
    • View Profile
    • OMD on MySpace
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2004, 02:12:59 am »
Heh. Now I'm just reminded of this Australian friend of mine who refuses to date anyone who isn't famous.
I don't think he does it deliberately, but so far this year he's dated someone who was in Star Wars Ep 2/3, and currently an olympic swimmer.
If only he weren't so fickle I could have been in Star Wars long enough to flip off Lucas without him noticing.
Logged
FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

Bozack

  • Most Melancholy of Batmen
  • Moderator
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1651
  • stop this car, i'm getting out
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2004, 04:40:50 am »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
a minor or local celebrity that you know lives an hour away.

Local celebrities really don't do it for me. Because, back home, that means I saw them every night, telling me about children dying in fires and/or the weather.
Logged
Hey, things are going okay now!

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2004, 02:38:12 pm »
Quote from: "Bozack"
Quote from: "CortJstr"
a minor or local celebrity that you know lives an hour away.

Local celebrities really don't do it for me. Because, back home, that means I saw them every night, telling me about children dying in fires and/or the weather.


Support local music. Ya Viacom/RIAA loving bastard.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
« previous next »