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[Bozack]

Coming from the thread about today's comic: If you had your own liquor, what would it be called? Label images encouraged. I'm working on mine.

[V-Adore]

This may be biased by my current mood, but right now my liquor would be "Tiny Quivering Ball of Rage and Pain Dark Ale." (extra bitter.)

[Choop]

"Ye Olde Slurr Factoree" - a barely-distilled, fast-aged grain alcohol which basically turns into fire as soon as it comes into contact with air.

"Schutzbrillehersteller" - (translates to "eye protector manufacturer") high-content lager which takes you from 20/20 to beer goggles faster than you can conceive. Guaranteed to get you laid. not guaranteed.

"Ye Olde Janx Spirit" - oh, snap. That one's taken.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Old Cranky Bastard:  pre-mixed manhattans.

[pmcd9]

"Ye Olde Slurr Factoree" - a barely-distilled, fast-aged grain alcohol which basically turns into fire as soon as it comes into contact with air.

We actually have a chemical where I work that does exactly that.  It's some crazy fucked up shit that is combustible with air.  The only way to put it out is cover it up with sand or foam.  Water only makes it worse.

~Paul

[Mite]

Definitely "I Ain't Putting Up With Anybody's Bullshit" brand gin. Serve very, very cold. Drink while alone, and in the dark, if possible.

[pmcd9]

SHIT IN YOUR FACE beer.  It gets it's name because that's how you feel in the morning, like someone has literally shit in your face, but it's only $1.99 for a sixer of tall boys so it's an acceptable trade off.

~Paul

[CortJstr]

"Daaaaaaaamn!" pure grain alcohol. Why should Everclear have the market cornered?

[jough]

"THIS DICK AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" brand Sake.  Americans should drink more sake.

And the tag line would be:

Sake Sake Long Time

[Mite]

After listening to some New Pornographers, I'd like to add "Slow Descent" red wine. Comes in a plastic bottle.

[pmcd9]

"THIS DICK AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" brand Sake.  Americans should drink more sake.

And the tag line would be:

Sake Sake Long Time

Sometimes, I say sometimes I really lilke the way you think there Jough.

~Paul

[Nabubrush]

Bile Producer Tequila - now with ring and tapeworms.

[AugustWest]

How 'bout Pozeur brand vodka?  Put it in a fancy bottle with the slogan, "Even though you can't tell the difference, you'll pay the difference."

Or maybe "Roofie" brand PGA -- "Specially brewed for punch spikin'!"

and perhaps, "I Can't Believe I Have Such Enormous Genitals" brand beer -- From the folks that brought you the Hummer!

[St_Zartan]

After listening to some New Pornographers, I'd like to add "Slow Descent" red wine. Comes in a plastic bottle.

This spirit should come with a guarantee that one's own horrifying internal decay will be translated into a punchy pop song within six to eight weeks of the diagnosis. Also none of this flaking out and saying she's the vocalist sometimes - if I am going to die by your poisonous gravity, I get Neko Case papering the walls.

Americans should drink more sake.

Right. I happen to love sake, and I am what common parlance refers to as a Reasonable Human Being. Sake is delicious and makes me absolutely fuck*ng bananas. If capital-A Americans drank more sake, we'd be looking at fuck*ng Thunderdome in less than five years.

WE LIKE CARS DRIVING IN OVALS BUT WE CANNOT DRINK HARD WITHOUT STABBING RELATIVES, OR PERHAPS BURYING OUR CHILDREN IN CELLARS WITH GALLON JUGS OF IODINE

WOOOOOOOOO STATES' RIGHTS

[V-Adore]

I'm surprised nobody's suggested "So Not Afraid of the fuck*ng POLICE" brand tequila.