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Author Topic: Neil Young is my American Idol  (Read 9338 times)

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Choop

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2004, 04:36:29 am »
DAMNIT ALL TO HECK I'll be in Cancun, sippin' cheladas on the beach and eatin' for free.

Oh, yeah, I'm flying first class too. My wife's got a fantastic job with fantastic perks.
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pmcd9

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #31 on: April 15, 2004, 11:40:54 am »
Quote from: "Choopernickel"
DAMNIT ALL TO HECK I'll be in Cancun, sippin' cheladas on the beach and eatin' for free.

Oh, yeah, I'm flying first class too. My wife's got a fantastic job with fantastic perks.


That was totally gratuitous.

~Paul
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AlohaDawg

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2004, 08:47:11 pm »
Yes, it was. He'll probably get laid, too. Maybe more than once.
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jough

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #33 on: April 15, 2004, 08:59:15 pm »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
Yes, it was. He'll probably get laid, too. Maybe more than once.


Nah.  He's married.
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AlohaDawg

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #34 on: April 15, 2004, 09:01:51 pm »
Yeah, but Vacation Sex....I didn't say he was getting head. Now there is something a wedding can put a stop to in a hurry....
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V-Adore

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #35 on: April 15, 2004, 09:36:32 pm »
To channel Beef:

man  how many conversations does this board need about posters getting blowjobs ANYWAY i thought we already talked about this

all gettin' blowjobs competitively
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Choop

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2004, 09:55:05 pm »
All I'm saying back to you fools is: Yipes do you have the wrong idea about marriage vis-a-vis sex.

JL's married, and with a great sex life, if she ain't makin' it up all the time.

I just choose not to post about mine.
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jough

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2004, 09:57:52 pm »
I'm getting a blowjob right now.
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AlohaDawg

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #38 on: April 15, 2004, 10:07:41 pm »
Who's this blowjob?


We all have different ideas about what a great sex life entails. Some of those ideas make others of us sad, though.

Now competetive blowjobs...there's a concept I can appreciate and promote - in the context of my sexual orientation only, though.
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V-Adore

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #39 on: April 15, 2004, 10:28:11 pm »
Quote from: "Asherdan"
I imagine this with a panel of idiosyncratic semi-celebraty judges, a Rod Roddy* blow by blow voice over, studio slo-mo analysis and a hyper enthused studio audience.

Crap, I think I just turned this into a great porn pitch.

*from the grave, unfortunately.

I like this idea wholeheartedly aside from the part where I had a memetic collision between posthumous Rod Roddy, god bless his soul, and blowjobs. Ew.
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CortJstr

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2004, 11:02:37 pm »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
Now competetive blowjobs...there's a concept I can appreciate and promote - in the context of my sexual orientation only, though.

Quote from: "Lewis Black"
Oral sex should be a sport because it's harder than curling and if you're any good at it you deserve a medal!
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jay-ell

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #41 on: April 15, 2004, 11:02:44 pm »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
getting head...now there is something a wedding can put a stop to in a hurry....


What?  You mean I was supposed to stop...Oh, damn.  I've been doing it wrong this whole time.  

(Choop's right, and no, I'm not making it up all the time.  Give Pedro a hi-five next time you see him.  ;) )
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jay-ell

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2004, 11:06:06 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
Now competetive blowjobs...there's a concept I can appreciate and promote - in the context of my sexual orientation only, though.

Quote from: "Lewis Black"
Oral sex should be a sport because it's harder than curling and if you're any good at it you deserve a medal!


The question is, what would the judging criteria be?  Style?  Depth?  Efficiency?  Speed?  Some combination of factors?  Would a participant have to blow the whole judicial panel, or just let them watch?  Are points deducted for spitting?  Do I get bonus points for letting him use my pigtails like handles?  

Answers, people.
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"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

CortJstr

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #43 on: April 15, 2004, 11:15:11 pm »
Quote from: "jldunston"
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
Now competetive blowjobs...there's a concept I can appreciate and promote - in the context of my sexual orientation only, though.

Quote from: "Lewis Black"
Oral sex should be a sport because it's harder than curling and if you're any good at it you deserve a medal!


The question is, what would the judging criteria be?  Style?  Depth?  Efficiency?  Speed?  Some combination of factors?  Would a participant have to blow the whole judicial panel, or just let them watch?  Are points deducted for spitting?  Do I get bonus points for letting him use my pigtails like handles?  

Answers, people.

It would be divided into 2 competions like ice skating. Speed and style. Speed is clear and would be done glory-hole-style. In the style version the judges would be the recipients with the uglier judges reserved for later rounds. All recipients would have to watch at least 2 hours of porn each day leading up to competition with no release.

Are points deducted for spitting? I won't dignify this with a response.

Costuming, including pigtails, would be a factor in the artistic competion.
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CortJstr

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Neil Young is my American Idol
« Reply #44 on: April 15, 2004, 11:15:44 pm »
After re-reading my above post, I've creeped myself out just a little.
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