The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Do not bone your neighbor's wife. That is hella lame.

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Anniversary Column, 30 April  (Read 3976 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

V-Adore

  • Guest
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« on: May 02, 2004, 06:26:36 am »
Apparently this got missed, which is a shame, because it's pretty good. (About the humor, anyway; the advice is fairly spotty, in the "Onstad really not trying" way, but hey.)

Best part, in my mind, is either the bit at the end about the nature videos or the vignette about Sober Lyle. Dang.
Logged

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2004, 04:54:03 pm »
"Papa Andy's Baja Party Urine." Classic.

This is one of the best Ray's ever.
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

sjlimmer

  • Illegal Ghost Bikes
  • Todd
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 3
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 317
  • Insert witty remark here...
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2004, 06:13:56 pm »
Sober Lyle really did it for me, especially "he laid down in a creek for about four hours."  I picture Lyle passed out, face down, inches away from drowning.  And no one seems to care.  Then he's got to have a serious conversation Ray.

Hell, I'd get drunk after that too.
Logged
"That's because you're a mean drunk, and nobody loves you."

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2004, 07:05:36 pm »
I liked the Lyle biz, but also the part right at the start about the IT consultants basically dogging Ray. Ray is taking a tremendous amount of shit lately, off of just everyone. Soon we'll get a strip where it is just Philippe saying "No, fuck you, Ray."

I like the idea of Ray with the top of his head open and a hand pouring margaritas in.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

MSC

  • Chucklebot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 2
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 142
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2004, 07:43:52 pm »
This is the finest explanation of Miami Vice ever.

Man, remember how cool that guy was in that show? White canvas shoes with a rattan sole, loose white trousers, pale peach blazer, shooting his Lamborghini Countach through a movie screen-size plate glass window as Phil Collins ducked under a white leather sofa. Early INXS tunes (Listen Like Thieves era) would be playing on the stereo system, until Jan Hammer’s intense music broke in over it all and the dudes had a shooting and kicking fight (which Don always won). Damn. God dammit.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2004, 12:13:16 am »
So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*










*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2004, 12:45:04 am »
You know what's vaguely uncomfortable?  

NO lube.
Logged

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2004, 12:46:32 am »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*



*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.


[ballbreaking]

Cort, try a few. Which ever one doesn't give your asshole a rash is a good choice.

[/ballbreaking]
Logged

V-Adore

  • Guest
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2004, 01:33:24 am »
Why is the entire Internet about lube and bad choices for it lately?!

Don't ask. Just don't.
Logged

palm trees

  • Showbiz
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 203
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2004, 04:02:06 am »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
Why is the entire Internet about lube and bad choices for it lately?!

Don't ask. Just don't.


you just asked
and then said "don't ask".

?
Logged
[size=10]***DESTROY VINYL***[/size][/color]

slink

  • Mod Squad
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 47
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3051
  • Слінк Ядранко
    • View Profile
    • OMD on MySpace
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2004, 10:25:48 am »
Quote from: "palm trees"


?


Damn hindsight!
Logged
FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2004, 01:06:25 pm »
Quote from: "jough"
You know what's vaguely uncomfortable?  

NO lube.


I would guess (and it's an uninformed guess, dammit!) that would be more than vaguely uncomfortable.  "Horribly painful" is a phrase that springs to mind.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2004, 04:48:18 pm »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
Quote from: "jough"
You know what's vaguely uncomfortable?  

NO lube.


I would guess (and it's an uninformed guess, dammit!) that would be more than vaguely uncomfortable.  "Horribly painful" is a phrase that springs to mind.

It depends. If it's just your own finger then . . .


Nevermind.
Logged

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2004, 05:22:09 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*

*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.


Well, I wouldn't know from *personal* experience, but the girls at Babeland recommend Slippery Stuff or Maximus -- both of which are water-based.  Basically, you want something water-based (and thus condom-safe) and thick.  

No discomfort here, Cort ;)
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Anniversary Column, 30 April
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2004, 07:52:11 pm »
Stick with the old reliables - Astroglide is always a good all-purpose choice.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »