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[V-Adore]

If/when I become a mad millionaire/supervillain/genius (or at least can borrow money from one), I may very well have a pet naked mole rat colony. Perhaps hiring mole-rat wranglers.

I can do it like the stereotypical giant-glass-walled-aquarium-in-the-bad-guy's-mansion, except with mole rats!

[CortJstr]

If/when I become a mad millionaire/supervillain/genius (or at least can borrow money from one), I may very well have a pet naked mole rat colony. Perhaps hiring mole-rat wranglers.

I can do it like the stereotypical giant-glass-walled-aquarium-in-the-bad-guy's-mansion, except with mole rats!

That would be a good way to dispose of pesky heroes if only naked mole rats were the bitingest.

[wombat]

I don't care, I still want a pygmy marmoset.

Oh, just linking to that is not enough:

This is the smallest monkey in the world. It's tiny! Ladies and gentlemen, this is a hand-held monkey! The applications boggle the very mind. To begin with, you could use it to distract anyone from anything. "Excuse me, Mr. Rampaging Killer? Why don't you put down the gun and take a look at this hand-held monkey? Does it not have clever little forepaws? It eats gum and sap!" It would be a lot like those old comic book ads where superheroes defeat one-shot villains with fruit pies, only better. Because it would have a monkey.

It is true.  I don't even really like monkeys, but I would have pet pygmy marmosets in a minute.  But,  most people still shouldn't try this at home.

[wombat]

Perhaps hiring mole-rat wranglers.

Well if you can become a millionaire soon... I do need a job.

[AlohaDawg]

 Give kids a little more credit than that... seriously.

I would, if only people (kids and adults both) weren't so clueless about what animals can be pets.  I can't tell you how many people ask if tamarins make good pets.  If you knew the tiniest first thing about monkeys you wouldn't need to ask.  There's certainly no reason to think those people know the tiniest first thing about mole rats either.  And there's no reason to think that unscrupulous animal dealers wouldn't take advantage of that.

People are assholes. I would rather hang out with a Golden Lion Tamarind myself, given the chance.  The problem here is the unscrupulous animal dealers, not the cartoons or the unwashed idiots with more money than common sense (although they are on my list, after the faerie people, the lonely 'angel seers', people who actually pay for Emmitt Kelly figurines, and first the customers and then the publishers of both the Harriet Carter and Fingerhut catalogues, because the fart joke items have gone far enough.)

[AugustWest]

I don't feel like cutting and pasting, so there will be no quotes herein.

1.  Naked mole rats?  Can you fry 'em up good and tasty?

2.  "Anyways" a word?  Well, I suppose in the sense that any set of phonemes that people use to convey meaning is a word.  OK, it's a word.  It's just a lousy, ignorant, skeezy word that well-spoken people do not use.

[Choop]

Unlike, say, "skeezy."

[AugustWest]

Exactly.  "Skeezy" is an evocative neologism packed with imagery.  "Anyways" is just lazy talk.

[V-Adore]

Perhaps hiring mole-rat wranglers.

Well if you can become a millionaire soon... I do need a job.

Let me put it this way: the minute I have the money to hire anyone with mole-rat-related qualifications, you're in.

[Bozack]

You know what I've always wanted to do?
You know how Jane Goodall lived with monkeys for all those years? I'm gonna do the same thing, but with sloths.
Can't you see it? Me, sitting on a couch I hoisted on to a tree, smoking up and watching old episodes of Sifl & Olly, next to a sloth. I can just imagine the grant proposal sessions.
"Why...why would you need a Hibachi? In the jungle? With SLOTHS?"
"Oh, man, it's the best. Me and the sloths? We gonna be GRILLIN', man! All shrimps for me, all leaves for them, all throwing back Guiness draft stylez and throwin' the empties to the jungle floor!"

Seriously, who wouldn't want to kick it with him? Imagine him wearing a stocking hat, listening to the Beastie Boy's seminal License to Ill.

[wombat]

1.  Naked mole rats?  Can you fry 'em up good and tasty?

Naah, too many little bones.  Not worth the trouble.

2.  Well, I suppose in the sense that any set of phonemes that people use to convey meaning is a word.

YES please.  Of course you can hate anything you want, but that doesn't make it not a word, or not a person, or not a food, etc.  Please?

[wombat]

You know what I've always wanted to do?
You know how Jane Goodall lived with monkeys for all those years? I'm gonna do the same thing, but with sloths.

Oh yeah.  Sloths are the best.  Of course I have a prejudice in favor of the two-toed.  They would like it if you would bring some grapes and oranges to the party too.  I don't know about the Guinness.

[andalucia]

Man, any animal named after a Deadly Sin is more than fine by me.

[Nabubrush]

You and I are going to get married. It's going to be a tough break for the fiancee, but she'll get over it.

Maybe we can match her up with my husband?

That would probably be best.

[AlohaDawg]

Aug - frying may not be the answer, but if you simmer them long enough the meat falls off the bones and you get a lovely naked mole rat stew.