The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Victoria Waterfield on September 17, 2007, 05:28:33 am
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09172007
This one has an oddly, yet refreshingly, old-school feel about it.
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Personally, I use dental thread when i floss, I do not need to supplement that. Thats all Im saying, ladies.
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My theory that he's been writing strips based on just finding one word or another funny, lately, is advanced by this strip.
This is not to complain, I got Some Chuckles out of it but... yeah.
Dude thought "cumshot" was funny, so he did a strip about it.
Dude thought "merkin" was funny, so he did a strip about it.
Dude filled between them with some thought-flow-charts and so on.
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Let's not make this a thread about opinions on pubic hair. Okay?
Anyway, it's the "God, if he only knew..." that makes this. The rest is kinda weird, but that panel of unexpected drama -- are we going to get a Very Special Episode about Ray's merkin needs? -- clinches it.
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I do need to counteract arachnocapitalist briefly, though, Vee.
A lady completely shaved down there is weird and unnatural to me.
Trimmed a little bit so that it's not unruly, I'm fine with, but bald seems completely weird to a dude.
Do we need to pretend we're mammals in absolutely no way or something?
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Should I be concerned that I knew what a merkin was before Ray explained it?
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Actually, I thought everyone knew the term "merkin".
I had to even explain it to my lady and usually she knows all the weird sex stuff long before I do.
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I, for one, did not have the pleasure of knowing what a merkin was. Thank you, Achewood.
Thank you.
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I love Ray's simplistic little paw in the last panel. Also, I didn't know what a merkin was, either.
Education.
LFM, when you say it looks wierd "to a dude", I can't tell if you are reffering to yourself in Achewood-style odd diction, or if you are intending to speak for all dudes. If it is the former, fine, cool. If it is the latter, however, I must kindly ask you not to speak for me (a dude), as I disagree with you %100 on this issue. Sorry to accidentally say my opinion on pubic hair, V, but I had to do it in order to get my real, main point across which was about clarifying something, and also about disclaiming LFM's statement as not mine.
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It's cool. I'm just saying, I will split with a vigilance if it turns into This Discussion again.
To get back to the strip: the more I think about it, the less sense T dragging the merkin in the eggs makes. Doesn't he have a little more respect for food than that? Is he trying to make the worst French Toast variation in the history of the world?
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I knew what a merkin was, which if anything made the strip disappointing - it couldn't live up to the heady promise of the title in my RSS reader.
Although I think the biggest problem I had was just after reading it, when I looked down and found a hair in my eggs.
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I'm sure that Mr. Bear not only knows exactly how bad Ray's golf game is, but has made a few dollars with the knowledge.
I think T was only pretending he was going to put it in the eggs. Like Ray says, "don't play with it" so just to mess with him Teodor pretends he's about to do the worst possible thing he can with it, just to see if Ray reacts.
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Teódor is trying to mess up with Ray after Ray's dong shenanigans.
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I believe Pearl Jam has an EP titled "Merkin Ball."
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ok. people.
How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.
also, I was delighted to find a reference to The Japanese in that wiki entry. Oh, those Japanese. I love them so.
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ok. people.
How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.
Staples?
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ok. people.
How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.
Staples?
AW, do NOT drag the merkin through your Dr. Pepper! You gonna RUIN that merkin!
Maybe Téodor had mistaken it for a pastry brush?
I knew the word had an association with that general region of the anatomy, thanks to President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove, but I would never have guessed it was a hairpiece.
Also: My new favorite baseball player. (http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=429723)
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I learned this word in probably the most delightful way possible.
It was the SAT study word of the day on some website my senior year of high school. Some friend of mine who was stressing about the test found it and hilarity in the school library ensued.
I only wish I remember the sample sentence completion or : :: style analogy. Submissions are welcome.
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Also: My new favorite baseball player. (http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=429723)
Wow, he has an amazingly appropriate beard!
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ok. people.
How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.
also, I was delighted to find a reference to The Japanese in that wiki entry. Oh, those Japanese. I love them so.
Spirit gum has been around for a really, really long time, and probably would have been used for such things. It's made from sap diluted with alcohol. From the stage make-up training, I can make any patch of human flesh hairy with the use of spirit come and natural or synthetic hair.
Also, I once met a lady with total body alopecia, and she had a merkin, though she told me she mostly didn't use it, as it is more the style these days to be hairless down there anyway.
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"I can make any patch of human flesh hairy with the use of spirit come..."
You might want to edit that. Or, you might not. I will now choose not to use an emoticon to smile.
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Also:
Man, if that baseball player is ever in a car accident, we'd have ourselves a beautiful headline, all punning on famous oil spills and lady's private wigs.
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"I can make any patch of human flesh hairy with the use of spirit come..."
You might want to edit that. Or, you might not. I will now choose not to use an emoticon to smile.
Ha - oh man, that is a quality typo. I'm leaving that there. Actually, I can use the spirit of cum for many purposes. I pray to the sexiest gods and they grant me powers! POWERS!
Also, thank you for not using an emoticon. I hate that shit.
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I like to write *insert s-m-i-l-e-y emoticon here* or *...winky...* or *...frowny...* or so on.
It conveys the emotion while still showing disdain for "netspeak".
I also like the idea that sideshow met a naked lady and was basically all like:
"Hi, my name is sideshow, I see you have no hair. Do you put a wig on your vadge or what?"
We need more people like this.
Less wars would happen if we were all this honest.
EDIT: Every other word seems to have a replacement thingee now.
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Have you ever tried to pleasure a ghost? It's not easy, I can tell you. I'm impressed that you have such a reliable supply.
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"Hi, my name is sideshow, I see you have no hair. Do you put a wig on your vadge or what?"
Oh... she would have shown me her vadge. I think she might have actually offered. She wanted me to go over to her place and see her merkin. But maybe not... I don't really remember her all that well. I had a mild crush on a friend of hers, which was how I met her, so the whole conversation was rather flirty in general, but I wasn't interested in her (lady's in hats aren't sexy to me), and I think she was only interested in me because I was interested in her friend. I remember that it felt way too complicated, and that I backed away... You'd think if someone used a "hey baby, come over to my place and I'll show you my merkin" pick-up line that I'd remember... but, those were the days where I was high or drunk most of the time... And so much shit has happened to me of far more noteworthy a quality that some woman I wasn't attracted to hitting on me didn't really stick in my head I guess. The details have all washed away. I remember imagining her apartment as being all velvety, and her merkin having it's own special pillow - like a cat...
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Oh... she would have shown me her vadge. I think she might have actually offered. She wanted me to go over to her place and see her merkin. But maybe not... I don't really remember her all that well. I had a mild crush on a friend of hers, which was how I met her, so the whole conversation was rather flirty in general, but I wasn't interested in her (lady's in hats aren't sexy to me), and I think she was only interested in me because I was interested in her friend. I remember that it felt way too complicated, and that I backed away... You'd think if someone used a "hey baby, come over to my place and I'll show you my merkin" pick-up line that I'd remember... but, those were the days where I was high or drunk most of the time... And so much shit has happened to me of far more noteworthy a quality that some woman I wasn't attracted to hitting on me didn't really stick in my head I guess. The details have all washed away. I remember imagining her apartment as being all velvety, and her merkin having it's own special pillow - like a cat...
Now I'm just picturing a little person carrying like a gilded pillow with a merkin on it. Her own personal merkin bearer.
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See, I pictured more like...
A box you'd keep a really expensive engagement ring in.
Like you go on one knee and you're like...
"Baby, I've always wanted you to have this... it was my grandmothers then it was my mothers now I want you to have it..."
And she gets all gaspy and teary and opens it up to see a merkin.
The length of time before she leaves the room in a rage is dependent on if she needs the concept explained to her.
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Now I'm just picturing a little person carrying like a gilded pillow with a merkin on it. Her own personal merkin bearer.
Perhaps wearing a silver pendant containing a camel-hair brush and spirit gum.
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I learned this word in probably the most delightful way possible.
It was the SAT study word of the day on some website my senior year of high school. Some friend of mine who was stressing about the test found it and hilarity in the school library ensued.
I only wish I remember the sample sentence completion or : :: style analogy. Submissions are welcome.
colmore, that is some comedy platinum right there. Toupee:Donald Trump as Merkin:? Also, I think I've mentioned before that I really like your avatar.
I remember imagining her apartment as being all velvety, and her merkin having it's own special pillow - like a cat...
Dammit, smells, you keep coming up with hilarious shit. I love that mental image. Tiny can.
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it's a MADOK,
Mental Avatar Designed Only for Killing.
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I remember seeing a baby MODOK once. Pretty creepy.
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Nextwave ruled. Seen the Journal of MODOK Studies?
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No, I haven't read it. A quick Google search tells me, however, that I should remedy this situation forthwith.
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I learned what a merkin was because it was a nickname used for Americans on alt.fan.pratchett back in what is known as "the day." I thought it was just an amusing jab at how we often shorten words, but then I got educated.
I don't want to know why Ray owns one. I really hope it doesn't involve a cake.
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Between the merkin and Keith Moon's disembodied head, Ray now owns 12% of a human body. That's a significant amount. Also, probably an illegal amount.
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Man, ebay Platinum Reserve is really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days.
Between the merkin and Keith Moon's disembodied head, Ray now owns 12% of a human body. That's a significant amount. Also, probably an illegal amount.
A head is about 8% of the average human body mass, so I guess pubic hair constitutes another 4%? That is some dense pubic hair. Unless Ray has any other unattached body parts I don't know about.
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There is no need to question my math. I assure you every figure has been checked and double-checked.