The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: jay-ell on December 10, 2012, 01:00:11 am
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The Celebrity Crush thread. Post a picture of your offbeat celebrity crush(es) so we can judge and mock for your bizarre attractions.
I'll start.
Alan Tudyk:
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HNlI7A7RdOI/TvfIeNaTwzI/AAAAAAAAA4k/GqSwUV7BNoM/s1600/Alan-Tudyk-.jpg)
Ladies: Wouldya?
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KRISTEN SCHAAL
(http://www.nndb.com/people/821/000169314/kristen-schaal-1-sized.jpg)
NADIA GIOSIA
(http://www.vermontmornings.com/NadiaG.jpg)
SAMANTHA BROWN
(http://img002.lazygirls.info/people/samantha_brown/samantha_brown_sb_8F45Pnw.sized.jpg)
NIGELLA LAWSON
(http://images.askmen.com/celebs/women/models_150/160_nigella_lawsonlarge_image-1.jpg)
KATE BEATON BETTER COUNT AS FAMOUS, YOU GUYS
(http://www.cbc.ca/q/katebeaton.jpg)
(what does all this say about me? I like nerdy girls who probably know where there is good food at. tall brunettes preferred but not required.)
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Hmm, for JL's, no, close, but I don't think so.
This guy, Chris Peppler, hosts a show for NHK English, and is also a DJ and stuff in Japan that I know nothing about.
(http://jukepage.com/static/images/channel_photo/org/chanpic_2816_7105.jpg)
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LFM, I'm totally with you on the Kristen Schaal thing. Not sure why, but BOING!
(http://content8.flixster.com/photo/14/07/58/14075890_ori.jpg)
Cynthia Stevenson
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OMG, the middle three women in LFM's post... ugh.
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So far, I do not like any of these humans.
I am struggling to find a person I am attracted to who you guys would be surprised by.
Nicki?
(http://cdn3.gossipcenter.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_header/photos/Nicki-Minaj-111912spx.jpg)
I am trying to think of a celebrity with horrible, messy hair. I am realizing that is my major thing these days. I don't think celebrities can pull it off.
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Gosh, I'm not sure I have any celebrity crushes right now. I'll have to think.
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Maybe Penny from Big Bang Theory.
(http://www.beertripper.com/OffTopic/2011/Kaley_Cuoco/Kaley_Cuoco_Penny_Wonder_Woman.jpg)
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You already knew I love me some Neko Case.
(https://twimg0-a.akamaihd.net/profile_images/127276825/NekoCase3.jpg)
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That does not count as offbeat.
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Oh, it's gotta be off-beat? Hmmm.
I've had a thing for Melissa Joan Hart since roughly forever, but I found out she was recently on Sean Hannity's show yammering about how Americans are all lazy bums on welfare and shit. That was a buzzkill.
Not sure she's off-beat either.
(http://allcelebrityhairstyles.com/melissa-joan-hart/melissa-joan-hart-hairstyles.jpg)
Edited: first image didn't cooperate.
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Clarissa Mansplains it All
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Yes to Kristen Schaal. Yes to Neko Case. The rest of them...yeah, I can see some of them, but they don't do it for me.
Inev: Niki? No. Gross.
Wombat, Chris Peppler looks kind of douchey to me. Like he's trying too hard to be a poor man's Johnny Depp.
I think I have told you guys before about my raging crush on Steve Martin. It has nothing to do with how he looks (though he's not unattractive in the least) and everything to do with the fact that he's just SO FREAKING SMART.
But since I can't post a photo of his intellect, here he is looking dapper in a fedora.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_y5Wj7kZR1mQ/SpeHkwdzNAI/AAAAAAAABCs/ZeErYyd8sao/s320/steve-martin.jpg)
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Wombat, Chris Peppler looks kind of douchey to me. Like he's trying too hard to be a poor man's Johnny Depp.
Isn't it interesting how much we think we can tell from a photograph?
He actually seems pretty dorky on the TV show. But also there is a cultural gap that it's hard to bridge. What counts as fashionable clothing in Japan can be awfully bizarre, and who knows who is picking the outfits.
Should I know who Nicki is?
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Nicki nicki nicki. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6j4f8cHBIM)
Oh man, that voice. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pn1VGytzXus#t=83s) Mmmm.
...I need you to know and believe that I was into her before I realized she did a whole song about her ass, and before I realized how amazing her ass is.
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hers is indeed a superb ass (do you see what she did there)
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Isn't it interesting how much we think we can tell from a photograph?
It really is. Maybe we should be posting videos.
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Post photos, collect reactions, then see how much they change when people see videos.
Hey, my wrist is broken, I have plenty of time.
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The thing is, I'd have to post sixteen videos of Alan Tudyk to explain why I love him. He's been in just about everything Joss Whedon has ever made and in some series he's cast as the villain -- which is one of the great things about him. He has a crazy face, which makes him a really good villain, but he's also *just* attractive enough to be believable as half of a cute couple (as in Firefly). And he is also a fabulous voice actor -- I like him because he's so mutable.
Here is a pic of him as a crazy serial killer about to slash a girl's face:
(http://autostraddle.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/dollhouse-s01e11-screen-cap07.jpg)
I had a really hard time accepting him as a good guy for a while after that. But he's really a very talented actor, not just another pretty face.
Now that I think of it, I'd totally make out with Gina Torres, who plays his wife on Firefly -- but that's not so offbeat. She is hot, hot, hot.
(http://venus.provocateuse.com/images/photos/gina_torres_19.jpg)
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Well, let's see...
I'll move across the gender spectrum a little bit here:
I found Krystin Ritter attractive as her character in Breaking Bad, and also in interviews (where she reads as highly feminine), but I find her repellant on that sitcom she's on.
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/krysten-ritter-breaking-bad-11.jpg).
Moving toward the butchy, I know almost nothing about her, but every time I see Katherine Moennig, I think dirty thoughts.
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/Katherinemoennig.jpg)
I had a crush on Lucas Silveira at this point in his career (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNaiRUjz6SY), but after he started taking hormones, his appearance and voice altered in a way that I no longer found sexy. I often have strong crushes on people based on their talents.
On the side of mildly feminine men, I've always found David Usher (a Canadian musician) to be very attractive. I'm not a huge fan of his music really, but for pure objectification, he is just lovely to look at.
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/davidusher.jpg)
Likewise, Cillian Murphy is pretty.
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/Cillian-Murphy-40-1.jpg)
Perhaps less unconventional, but on the more masculine side of things, I've always found Jon Hamm, Hugh Laurie and Gary Oldman to each be highly attractive in certain circumstances as well.
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/hamm.jpg)(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/hughlaurie.jpg)(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/garyoldman.jpeg)
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La ilaha illa Maria Bamford! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFHmNrxkuFU)
(http://www.bobandtom.com/cimages/var/bobandtom/storage/images/repository/photos/guest-photos/maria-bamford/166595-1-eng-US/Maria-Bamford_photo_large.jpg)
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LFM, I'm totally with you on the Kristen Schaal thing. Not sure why, but BOING!
(http://content8.flixster.com/photo/14/07/58/14075890_ori.jpg)
Cynthia Stevenson
All I know her from is the movie Happiness, which is one of my favorite movies, but is also why she's totally unattractive to me in every way.
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Nicki nicki nicki. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6j4f8cHBIM)
Oh man, that voice. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pn1VGytzXus#t=83s) Mmmm.
This is music for people who find the Black Eyed Peas too Cerebral. But damn, it's fun as hell.
...I need you to know and believe that I was into her before I realized she did a whole song about her ass, and before I realized how amazing her ass is.
That is quite an impressive ass. I too got into her before I knew about that ass. But badang!
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I would bone Hugh Laurie so hard. Double-time if it were a three-way with Stephen Fry. Oh, and of course David Tennant, who looks like an alien ferret. Those British boys are just so damn clever!
(http://www.nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/4567-david-tennant.jpg)
"You want me to use my sonic screwdriver...where?"
I think Buck Angel is the studliest trans man I've ever seen. For whatever (perfectly valid, extremely personal) reason, he's not fully transitioned, so he still has a pu$$y (though the hormones have made his clit swell to the size of a small c*ck). He's super cut, though, and if it weren't for the fact that he's a porn star with nude pics splattered all over Google, you'd never suspect that he had anything but the standard male equipment:
(http://www.queerty.com/wp/docs/2010/05/buck0200.jpg)
Would I hit it? I dunno. I like androgyny, and there's a lot to like about Mr. Angel, but honestly the thing that squicks me out waaay more than the trans thing is the fact that he's done a lot of porn.
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I also have a monster crush on John Linnell from TMBG ever since I saw them in concert for the first time. How can you compete with a man who plays the accordion?
(http://www.baldheretic.com/pics/concertpics/tmbg/tmbgbh3.jpg)
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is that ron livingston from 1987
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omg ash what is up with you
I don't get why everyone finds David Tennant attractive. Unless he's more normal when he's not acting. But "alien ferret" is not my thing.
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I assume we are playing this game with living persons? So "Danny Elfman circa 1993" doesn't count?
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I don't get why everyone finds David Tennant attractive. Unless he's more normal when he's not acting. But "alien ferret" is not my thing.
He does look more normal when he's not acting, but that makes him less bangable IMHO. Though his natural Scottish accent almost made my panties melt the first time I heard it.
Smells, Katherine Moennig might be cute if she didn't remind me so much of my lesbian cousin.
I assume we are playing this game with living persons? So "Danny Elfman circa 1993" doesn't count?
I think that's fair. He's almost a completely different person now. Though...
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dXQL5KPqnb8/TW7JcBgERNI/AAAAAAAAAkA/OGZuODiB7p8/s1600/Danny%2BElfman.jpg)
...that might be for the best.
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sigh
He has aged really poorly, unlike my other favorite singer.
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(http://hiclasswallpapers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Casta-wa070.jpg)
Laetitia Casta. Is she "off-beat" now that she's a film-judge and mother of two and not a Victoria's Secret model?
(http://img.spokeo.com/public/900-600/lisa_bonet_1988_10_21.jpg)
Lisa Bonet
Heck, for that matter, ever since I heard she was the voice of Inspector Gadget's daughter, Penny.
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8phus8m601r9myxyo1_250.jpg)
Cree Summer
Aaand, I recently found out what Pink looked like. And that she can dance like a motherlover.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTCDVfMz15M
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Ahm. Uhm. Not really a celeb unless it's an youtube celeb. Not really "off" anything, but oh shut up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_v_2IkNpGI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_v_2IkNpGI)
I wasn't supposed to find the Valley Girl accent enticing, but... maybe it does a complete 360º turn and becomes something likable? I don't know, it's just maybe that I was expecting her to be completely clueless w/r/t what she's reviewing, but turns out... she's not even clueless (ok, maybe a bit clueless, you figure it out, Einstein).
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Wow, that is so not Valley. It's very Canadian (or possibly Minnesotan) -- though I can see how they'd seem similar to a non-native speaker. But you're right, she has a ditzy quality that belies the intelligence with which she discusses the topic. So I can see how that would be hot.
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Hecks, if we're just going for random tube-folk, here's a 30-45% creepy video of a lady talking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W96a_WAQeNk
Ah would.
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Hecks, if we're just going for random tube-folk, here's a 30-45% creepy video of a lady talking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W96a_WAQeNk
Ah would.
Gack! Those teeth. I can't see past them.
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Hecks, if we're just going for random tube-folk, here's a 30-45% creepy video of a lady talking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W96a_WAQeNk
Ah would.
Me too, but I'd sleep with one eye open.
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Ah would.
I know what you did.
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(http://hiclasswallpapers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Casta-wa070.jpg)
Laetitia Casta. Is she "off-beat" now that she's a film-judge and mother of two and not a Victoria's Secret model?
I would fuck every single woman posted here. If any of them were to walk up to me and ask me if I wanted to fuck, I would say yes. Just saying'.
But Laetitia. Oh my god. Victoria's Secret catalogs in the '90s were like treasure.
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(...) she has a ditzy quality that belies the intelligence with which she discusses the topic.
Yes, exactly, thank you.
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But Laetitia. Oh my god. Victoria's Secret catalogs in the '90s were like treasure.
I hid mine behind a box of sweaters in the basement. I was too young to understand to why I was so interested in a catalogue for lady underoos, or what I was supposed to be doing with them.
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I used to sneak pages into the bathroom for further study, and then rip them up and flush them down the toilet.
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New off-the-wall crush: the woman in this commercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvB3msfJYdk
I demand that this video of hers be released on the interwebs immediately.
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My random commercial crush is still this woman: http://youtu.be/B5Ua--XGMtE (http://youtu.be/B5Ua--XGMtE)
Because. That ass.
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I have a longstanding crush on the girl who used to do Glad Bag commercials, and searching for her name brought me to this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=125960) on Straight Dope. Guess I'm not the only one!
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Straight Dope.
Wow. Haven't been over there for a long time.
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I have a longstanding crush on the girl who used to do Glad Bag commercials, and searching for her name brought me to this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=125960) on Straight Dope. Guess I'm not the only one!
That jogged my memory regarding the lead actress in the New Prons' "The Laws Have Changed" video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sn-LDCRL8Js
Apparently her name is Rachel Wainwright, which had eluded me for years.
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Further down the thread she is identified as Melanie Deanne Paxson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melanie_Paxson) née Moore.
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Hmm. I mean, she's very cute but I don't see a wow factor.
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There's a woman in a Christmas commercial that I think is pretty cute, but I can't find the commercial so sorry.
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(http://s7.postimage.org/t9tu2xbmz/The_Bakery_Girl_Of_Monceau1963c09.png)
This Girl in this really charming short movie I am watching, the Bakery Girl of Monceau.
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I think Flo from the Progressive commercials is pretty hot, especially the one running now where she's in the rain with her wet clothes plastered to her dripping body.
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You guys sure watch a lot of commericials. Don't you have Tivo or anything?
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You guys sure watch a lot of commericials. Don't you have Tivo or anything?
This is from Tivo'ing past it.
Also, if you want to watch sports live you're stuck with commercials.
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Flo's weird lack of a chin kills it for me.
I don't know why. When you're missing your chin... not like you lost it in an injury, not like you had a series of sad birth defects and missing a chin is just part of it, when you're a normal modestly-attractive person who happens to have no chin... that kills it for me. Especially with the clownish make-up she wears to draw the eye away from her total lack of anything a human being could call a chin.
I've just always assumed that she is someone's daughter or wife or lover or something, with how hard she gets pushed as being attractive in those ads despite looking like some kind of weird chinless hipster-Tammy-Faye-Bakker ersatz pastiche of a woman.
It is difficult to imagine someone looking at her casting photo off the street and thinking "yeah, that's our spokeswoman!"
Some kind of weapons-grade nepotism seems almost necessary for this to occur in a universe that still has laws underpinning it and stuff.
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Oh Mike.
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furiously youtubes
HOO-YAA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NPwa-Z8JD18)!
That makes the cut, alrighty.
The stranded dude in that commercial is pretty easy on the eyes, too. Yowza. I'd skip the rental car, throw him in that backseat and steam up the windows 'til the rain stopped.
Wait, I mean, is my spouse still reading this? I mean, uh, I guess he's OK. If you're into that whole "athletic build, classically handsome" thing.
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Well, my unconscious served up quite the dream this morning. I had the most detailed sex dream I've ever had, with (to my total surprize) Anthony Bourdain. It was pretty much the best erotic dream I've ever had. I'd never thought of him in such a way in my waking life... until now that is.
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/Tony_Bourdain_horizontal_zps482e86fc.jpg)
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I'm glad you enjoyed your dream, but that is going to give me nightmares.
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As this movie started, I thought "man, I feel like I get better at perving on cute girls every day." And then the scene turned into this. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75JH3UbW1H8)
Have I told you about my queer punk band name? The Male Gaze/The Male Gays?
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I'm glad you enjoyed your dream, but that is going to give me nightmares.
Truth be told, I had a hard time finding any pictures of him that I find attractive, but apparently somewhere in the grey matter, I dig him.
Looking at the people I've listed off, I'm beginning to wonder if what I'm attracted to, on some level, is benign arrogance?
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[Anthony Bourdain]
(http://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j362/SideShowMelanie/Tony_Bourdain_horizontal_zps482e86fc.jpg)
I'd hit that. He's in good shape, especially for his age. He even brings his own bone, bone, bone.
One of my sexiest sex dreams ever was about Steve Martin, which is how I figured out that I lurve him. Before that, I'd never considered him a sex symbol...but now I can't stop.
Of course, I've also had sex dreams about people that I am decidedly NOT attracted to IRL, so sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, y'know?