Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[St_Zartan]

So I decided to search for another plane. Instead, I stumbled upon one of the luggage cars. This delighted me to no end because it's my personal goal to drive only the finest of the totally retarded vehichles scattered around Los Santos. Previous highlights included the tractor I drove home and the riding mower I took on a turf war rampage, which went about as well as you'd imagine it did.

Wonderful. I knew from your very first post that someone, somewhere, had drawn a big heart in red crayon with "*****_roll_call" and "riding mower" in it. I was really looking forward to your finding it, although I didn't want to spoil what was no doubt a truly bizarre and fulfilling surprise by saying GO GET THE RIDING MOWER AND DO SOMETHING HILARIOUS. I am glad that you took it on turf wars. Did you try killing a dude and then riding over his body with the mower? That only just occurred to me. Maybe more cash will come flying out, or maybe a condom full of diamonds they'd swallowed earlier for export. The riding mower is pretty much the ne plus ultra of retarded vehicles in San Andreas, but hey - I suggest you beat the "8-Track" racing mission at Los Santos Stadium and have yourself a party. KEYWORD: magnetic ribbons

I didn't play too much this weekend - I mostly did the San Fierro snapshots (not nearly as tedious as I remembered, especially since (a) I used a map rather than one of those "now turn right" narratives that expects you to do it all in one go and (b) getting to some of them at this relatively early stage in the game was a real adventure), maxed out some stats, and got to 100% with Katie (yes, I'm getting to 100% with all the girlfriends this time through, which can be extremely tedious - is anyone else even bothering with this?), whose voice drives me right up the fuck*ng wall. BABY, CAN WE GO FOR A SPIN WHILE I TELL YOU ABOUT MY DUMB fuck*ng DOJO, PLEEEEEEEZE

OK. I gave in and chainsawed her once. The chainsaw is a delightful weapon. Rockstar pretty much designed it with sadistic jerks in mind, which, normally, I am not - but if you're already committed to the Murder Act, you might as well make absolutely certain you're not just doing the job halfway and condemning some dude to a lifetime of dialysis treatments or whatever.

Also: if you are going to make a Stunning Entrance to a date, go ahead and make sure you actually have your parachute before you get into the plane. Just saying.

[andalucia]

...maxed out some stats, and got to 100% with Katie (yes, I'm getting to 100% with all the girlfriends this time through, which can be extremely tedious - is anyone else even bothering with this?)... OK. I gave in and chainsawed her once. The chainsaw is a delightful weapon...

Holy Jesus.  This is even worse than the time when I was in the common room at a friend's residence playing pool, and idly watched the soccer game some guys had on TV for about five minutes before I realized that they were playing it, with little controllers, because it was a video game, and not real life.  I never even played any Mario type things growing up and this is all so far beyond anything I could ever understand.

What does it mean to get to 100 percent with a video game lady?  

Please don't let me interrupt your nice conversation about using a computer to pretend to drive around, but my confusion has reached critical mass here and I am kind of interested to understand how all of this works.

[V-Adore]

...maxed out some stats, and got to 100% with Katie (yes, I'm getting to 100% with all the girlfriends this time through, which can be extremely tedious - is anyone else even bothering with this?)... OK. I gave in and chainsawed her once. The chainsaw is a delightful weapon...

Holy Jesus.  This is even worse than the time when I was in the common room at a friend's residence playing pool, and idly watched the soccer game some guys had on TV for about five minutes before I realized that they were playing it, with little controllers, because it was a video game, and not real life.  I never even played any Mario type things growing up and this is all so far beyond anything I could ever understand.

What does it mean to get to 100 percent with a video game lady?  

Please don't let me interrupt your nice conversation about using a computer to pretend to drive around, but my confusion has reached critical mass here and I am kind of interested to understand how all of this works.

I'm not a huge GTA person, but I think I can explain this:

GTA:SA allows you to "date" video game ladies as a way of unlocking new shiny bits and such. The way this works is that you go on dates, attempt to impress her, etc., and her overall opinion of you is represented by a percentage. Getting 100% basically means that you've totally pleased her (and thus gotten all of the unlockable shinies you possibly can). I think. Zart or Ben or Jough or someone else who can answer this more thoroughly, feel free to jump in.

[St_Zartan]

What does it mean to get to 100 percent with a video game lady?  

Please don't let me interrupt your nice conversation about using a computer to pretend to drive around, but my confusion has reached critical mass here and I am kind of interested to understand how all of this works.

The quotes you selected made me realize, yes, to an outside observer, this is completely retarded. Let me explain :

For some reason, the developers of this game thought it would be a Fun Idea to allow the player to have various Girlfriends. Girlfriends that are difficult to please and actually harangue you for more face time via cell phone. Oh yes they do.

Once you start dating some lady, the game establishes a relationship stat for that lady; it begins at 15%. This basically indicates how much she likes you - if you take her on a shitty date (for example, a Fancy Lady will not like a "dinner date" consisting of malt liquor in a divey bar), this number will go down. If you give her flowers or put the Sexing to her, it will go up. Etc. 0% means you're dumped - if the nurse dumps you, for example, you can no longer get out of the hospital for free.

At 50%, you can borrow her car when she's home. The Ladies all usually have cars that are, otherwise, hard to find. At 100%, you get some sort of special, unique costume as a "gift" that is unavailable anywhere else.

"To get to 100 percent with a video game lady", then, means that you have gotten all the benefit possible from the relationship and you no longer have to take her out on those goddamned dates.

You have to believe me when I say that the Girlfriend Thing is ancillary to pretending to drive around and shoot things. That is a major part of the appeal of this game : everything apart from missions (set pieces in which you have to accomplish a specific goal within a specific setting) is pretty much optional and you can take it or leave it at your leisure. Look : it's fun. Maybe you should try it.

[St_Zartan]

This is a pretty neat little toy.

Basically, you export your stats from the (PC) game, upload them, et voila, they're formatted all nicely for viewing / showing off / whatever.

Here's mine. (I know - I really need to work on my distance travelled by golf cart.) I'd be interested to see how you all are doing.

[jough]

EDIT: My GTA: SA Stats (pitiful that they are)

My progress report:

Having gotten stuck on the "Burn and Lap" Driving School chore, I decided to skip the non-story advancing missions and just get to the desert.

So I was stuck on completing "Monster" for a while - then I decided that since the mission didn't start until I went through the first marker that I could install Nitrus on the Monster Truck and that made the mission a lot easier.  Instead of 30 seconds to climb a few big hills it took only 2, and I beat it.

Then I had a couple of fun missions in the Desert before buying the airstrip and now having the Flying School to deal with.  I did the takeoff and landing tests with no problem, but now am stuck on the "lap around the airport" one.

At this point in the game, completing the flying school is the ONLY mission and there is no way to advance the story without completing it.  I'll try it again later, but I'm pretty sure that if I can't complete it I'll just use a cheat/trainer to unlock everything and just play around with it.  But I like some of the missions and am looking forward to missions in Las Venturas.

So I don't know.  I wish there was a way to skip certain missions that you got stuck on.  I mean, whose game is it, anyway?

[arkabee]

so i had been playing gta3 on pc and didn't realize the saved games get saved in $user\my documents.

that's not as much of a pisser since after i formatted the pc and redid all pimped out gta3 crashes.

[St_Zartan]

Having gotten stuck on the "Burn and Lap" Driving School chore, I decided to skip the non-story advancing missions and just get to the desert.

Burn and Lap : never let off the gas, tight handbrake turns only, pretty much tighten that sphincter and pray you don't fuck it all up in the last lap. There are two tests at Driving School off the top of my head that I hate more than the Burn and Lap; save your ire. Seriously. Just be sure and do finish Driving School - the missions / opportunities it opens up are really fun and satisfying.

Wait - you're still using a dual-analog joypad, right? Because finishing D.S. with a keyboard is about as likely as, I don't know, playing Mortal Kombat on a Speak 'N Spell.

Then I had a couple of fun missions in the Desert

If Rockstar has any sense, they will give James Woods like a million dollars and make a GTA-alike / spinoff based entirely around working for Mike Toreno.

But I like some of the missions and am looking forward to missions in Las Venturas.

There is an entirely optional chain of missions in Las Venturas that, taken as a whole, might be the straight-up most rollicking fun in the entire game. So, yeah, it's worth it. In the meantime, though, since Flight School is kicking your ass, you could always work on side missions (especially since the entire map is open to you at this point) - a little extra bonus is the series of increasingly threatening phone calls you get from Toreno if you put off completing Flight School...

Go do Boat School. It's easy to get all golds, and it will renew your vigor.

[jough]

I am doing boat school (I've gotten a number of calls from Toreno already - just GOLD) and that's going well.  I'm also dating the cop, Barbara, and figure I'll do the bike school next since I have only a keyboard and flight school is just impossible.

There's a guy on one of the GTA forums who'll do the schools for me for a fee.  It may be worth it.  I am just not enjoying the chore aspects of the game.  Tedious and frustrating is what I get from DATING, not paying $50 for a game.

[robot_roll_call]

I am doing boat school (I've gotten a number of calls from Toreno already - just GOLD) and that's going well.  I'm also dating the cop, Barbara, and figure I'll do the bike school next since I have only a keyboard and flight school is just impossible.

There's a guy on one of the GTA forums who'll do the schools for me for a fee.  It may be worth it.  I am just not enjoying the chore aspects of the game.  Tedious and frustrating is what I get from DATING, not paying $50 for a game.

Don't pay money for that. Come on.

[AlohaDawg]

The allure of this game just quintupled for me with the appearance of two stat types 'mongst those you'nses posted.

Fires started
Prostitutes Visited

Dammit!

My favorite is Luck:0

[Islikemoxie!]

Zartan:

This is a pretty neat little toy.

Ohh man, I concidered posting my real-life stats from the chart, but balls, thats just too depressing, and i´m not too sure if im acquainted enought with you guys yet to reveal how many money i´ve made in a truck or how many times I have cheated.

so... nothing really.

Yeahh ok, i´m being a tease; I will share with you, that my best time in Little Loop was when I was 8, I remember i was wearing the Optimus Prime cardigan my mother knitted for me. It was swell.

[Bozack]

....I remember i was wearing the Optimus Prime cardigan my mother knitted for me. It was swell.

I....I.....SHIT, man. SHIT. You had an Optimus Prime cardigan?
SHIT! That is EXCELLENT!

[St_Zartan]

Ohh man, I concidered posting my real-life stats from the chart, but balls, thats just too depressing, and i´m not too sure if im acquainted enought with you guys yet to reveal how many money i´ve made in a truck or how many times I have cheated.

I know how many times you've cheated.

COMING UP...

THE CONFRONTATION

[jough]

About every five missions there's one that just kills me and frustrates me to no end.  Luckily now that Las Venturas is open to me I have a choice of about four missions at any one time.

However...

I'm doing the "Stowaway" mission where you have to ride your bike up the ramp of a plane, but the bike is not fast enough to catch the plane!  I even tried not even trying to go up the ramp and just tried to catch up to the plane going as fast as possible, and I didn't even come CLOSE.

WTF?

In the meantime, I did get all Gold in the cycling school, usually on the first try.  And the speedy reward there was worth it.  Love that NRG-500.

Anyway, the Las Venturas missions are fun (except for the Madd Dogg mission, which was another of those "hell" missions I had to do two dozen times to finally get it).

But overall I am enjoying the game again now that I am done with the schools.