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[misterqueue]

This is for you Miles because you shouldn't always be the sick fuck.  I think what my tender young internet offspring is saying is... as pleasurable as it is, he's tired of always having to hit it in the butt.

Am I reading this right son?

~Paul

Paul, I believe I'm the sick fuck as miles so coined me.  And man, I gotta say.  You just made me proud.  I...  *wipes eyes*  I have something in my eye!

*runs out of the room*

[CortJstr]

TOUAMB: All About Sick Fucks. And Education.

[jough]

Bozack, I know a guy who will cut a NEW orifice into her that you can fuck for just $175 ($25 of that is for the Jack Daniels, i.e. anesthetic).

Let me know if you're interested in contacting him via PM.  His tools are really clean, and the result will be completely sanitary for you and FUN for her.

[side_show]

Yeah, I'm thinking t-shirts. Of course, the other option is just holding a party and passing a hat; I've already pledged $300. But wouldn't pu$$yid be an awesome music festival?
Wait....
Her ex-boyfriend, who she is on good terms with, is in a band that played at the Knitting Factory the other night. If he could convince his band to take out $2000 before divying up the nights returns...
I'm doing that Grinch smile thing.

Oh, P.S., it turns out that my actual computer has a problem with the power source, which will probably cost many simoleons to fix, as well as a bunch of time. I might be in and out for a while.

Oh for the love of god, sell cherries.  I would pay $1 for a single cherry for said cause.  Run around campus, the city, an art gallery, or throw a party/rave/box social selling cherries for cherry popping.  Or even just cherry-flavoured candies. Simple.

Or find some art gallery somewhere that will allow you to do performance art, and just set out a week where you will sit in the middle of the gallery with buckets of cherries, and eat them and use empty buckets for you diarrhea, and charge a gallery admission for people to come and witness you, and there you have it, Bozack presents: Suffering with Cherries.  You could also make side bets with friends in regard to how long you will last at this, how many cherries you will actually consume, etc.

[wombat]

Side-Show is an artistic genius.

[AlohaDawg]

Oh for the love of god, sell cherries.  I would pay $1 for a single cherry for said cause.  Run around campus, the city, an art gallery, or throw a party/rave/box social selling cherries for cherry popping.  Or even just cherry-flavoured candies. Simple.

Or find some art gallery somewhere that will allow you to do performance art, and just set out a week where you will sit in the middle of the gallery with buckets of cherries, and eat them and use empty buckets for you diarrhea, and charge a gallery admission for people to come and witness you, and there you have it, Bozack presents: Suffering with Cherries.  You could also make side bets with friends in regard to how long you will last at this, how many cherries you will actually consume, etc.

See if you can get the Cherry Poppin' Daddies to play a benefit.

[JorgeFabregas]

It is a pretty super idea to have a benefit concert. Do they have midwives in New York? Furthermore, do they have ilegal ghost midwives who might be willing and able to do the procedure at a discount?

[V-Adore]

It is a pretty super idea to have a benefit concert. Do they have midwives in New York? Furthermore, do they have ilegal ghost midwives who might be willing and able to do the procedure at a discount?

I am trying to parse whether "illegal ghost midwives" designates midwives who aid in the delivery of ghost babies, presumably illegally, or midwives who are ghosts (and thus presumably are practicing without a license these days).

[jough]

There's going to be a new spin-off show of "Prison Break," "The Ghost Whisperer," and "Desperate Housewives" called "Illegal Ghost Housewives."

[Turbo Ninja]

How did the conversation go when she explained that you can't have sex with her because her lid's on too tight?  I bet that was fun.

Raise this money on the Innernet by removing any appearance of your participation.  Position her as a needy maiden, set up a PayPal account, and promise a Before-and-After picture (just a close-up - nothing with any distinguishing characteristics) to the highest contributor.  Then, look for some specialized fetish chat rooms and see if you can find a few dozen dudes who'll fight each other to be the most generous investor.  You have to remove yourself from the request because guys will help a lady but they will not help a lady who obviously has a man.  She must present at least the illusion of availability.

She'll get her money, you'll get an unlocked safe, and several Internet freaks will have some imagination fodder to last them until the next keg needs tapped.

[Golfhaus]

Sara and I will pledge a few bucks as soon as the Paypal account is set up. As Sara put it: "As a Catholic myself, I understand... we already have a lot getting in the way."

[Bozack]

Hahaha, not my ladyfriend!

[Golfhaus]

So wait, you've pledged $300 to open up a chick you're not going to get to bang afterwards? Man, I can toss a couple bucks to her without worrying about it, but if I was putting down three hundo, I'd want some return on my investment.

[robot_god]

You could probably offer a dude on the street 20 bucks and he could perform the surgery just as well as any doctor can.  My only advice: sterilize the icepick.

[arkabee]

i don't mean to be overly cynical about your nice friend that i've never met and know nothing about, Bozack, but this screams:


"uh, i'm really busy, er, washing my, uh, hair, this, um, decade, sorry.
but we can still meet every day before class so you can give me the homework and essays like normal. 
oh,
and,
next time?  use a second coat of wax."

to me.


from where i'm at right now, versus where i've been, i'd say raise the money and use it to remove excess moles on your body that right now are harmless but will quickly turn carniverous and devour your body.

then tell her "if it was a valid problem, you would have come up with a solution yourself.  i've just extended my quality of life about 1.316 years.  i had a little of the donation money left over, but i'm going to go buy some multivitamins, because men can suffer ill affects from calcium deficiency, just as well as women.  ciao."

but that's me.