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[Drastic Action]

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03022006

What a gloriously understated tent.  I wonder how they knew he was coming alone?  That most certainly isn't enough for an army there.

And no-doz?  Did one of the coordinators just buy it on the company tab, or is there some actually point to that?

Also, how many pounds of turkey were bought?  That reciept isn't complete.

And is that spoon a plastic spoon?  They couldn't even give him real silverware, let alone a fork?

So many questions.  Not that most of them matter, but this is strange.



No..  It's a spork.  Wow.  They know how to throw a party.

edit: Oh, and that's how I've always written dates.  Not sure if that's a big deal, but some people seem to be picky about that thing.

[jough]

It's a spork, dude.  It's the best parts of both a spoon and a fork.

Well, this one seems a bit... unfinished?

Maybe Onstad will add more later in the day.

Otherwise, well, I guess it's better than WE RETURN MONDAY

[thedudeabides85]

Also, how many pounds of turkey were bought?  That reciept isn't complete.

Well, I did a little Boolean Algebra and let's see (carry the 4...plus 11), the turkey comes out to 8.5 pounds, roughly the size of a newborn baby. 

Speaking of which, Ray totally looks like he's coming out of the womb in the second panel. I'm pretty sure actually that this is an accurate rendering of the doctor's view in the delivery room on that fateful day.  Ray was most definitely born wearing at least the glasses.

Notice also that the spork does not appear on the receipt.  This is a leftover spork from last year's feast, and the feast from the year before, etc.  Pine Box Pyrell ate from this spork and Rufus, making the most of his privacy, used it to comb his hair in 1971.

[nuero]

And when Ray was born he was immediately treated to brandy and an 8.5 pound turkey.

Everyone agreed beforehand that alcoholism and overeating is rad.

[Emmoh]

Excellent. The "feast" is a an 8 pound turkey and an 11 dollar brandy from Safeway.

I wonder what other legends about the GOF get undo grandois recollect.

[Lister]

It is worth noting that "flup" is precisely the sound a heavy canvas tent flap makes when it's opened like that.

A heavy canvas tent like that could be someplace where you could cold have an epiphany.  Or maybe even an expository monologue.

Also, I like the strip with the cartoon cats and alive stuffed animals.

[mrchee]

Safeway turkey isn't bad, although the eleven dollar brandy might cause Ray to channel Rodney Leonard Stubbs permanently

But wait? Will Ray sneak Beef in to share in the repast? GREAT OUTDOOR FIGHT COVERAGE RETURNS MONDAY, BITCH

[wombat]

There are no side dishes.  Thank you.

[robot_god]

Well, I did a little Boolean Algebra and let's see (carry the 4...plus 11), the turkey comes out to 8.5 pounds, roughly the size of a newborn baby. 

Speaking of which, Ray totally looks like he's coming out of the womb in the second panel. I'm pretty sure actually that this is an accurate rendering of the doctor's view in the delivery room on that fateful day.  Ray was most definitely born wearing at least the glasses.

Shit be good on this fine day.

Twenty four hours alone in that tent and I'd even have polished off the spork.  Basically like heaven.  Probably a big advantage to be the only person to have eaten in three days.  But maybe not, because if I didn't eat in three days, I'd be ready to cold tear a man's thigh off.

[Doc]

Its a good thing there's that much turkey given he gets the full bottle of brandy. Needs something to soak it up with or he'd be making pickles in the sheets all the third day.

[misterqueue]

Not much to say here, except the tent looks like an Outhouse in panel one (or a Port-a-Potty ((I accidentally almost typed Port-a-Pooty, which, is kind of funnier))).

[miles]

Remember story problems?

Ray Smuckles is treated to a feast after a hard day of ripping off faces and breaking backs.  It includes a bottle of brandy that cost $10.99, a packet of No-Doz at $6.99, and some roasted turkey that rang in at $1.29/lb.  If the feast costs a total of $28.95, how many pounds of roasted turkey was Ray treated to?  Please, no calculators and show all work.

When I woke up this morning, I did this problem immediately for some reason.  And I hate math.

[CortJstr]

The turkey is stuffed with No-Doz instead of bread-product. Lest the tryptophan make Ray feel a bit nappish.

[V-Adore]

Remember story problems?

Ray Smuckles is treated to a feast after a hard day of ripping off faces and breaking backs.  It includes a bottle of brandy that cost $10.99, a packet of No-Doz at $6.99, and some roasted turkey that rang in at $1.29/lb.  If the feast costs a total of $28.95, how many pounds of roasted turkey was Ray treated to?  Please, no calculators and show all work.

When I woke up this morning, I did this problem immediately for some reason.  And I hate math.

The image of a GOF-based elementary-school math worksheet fills me with delight. We could even expand it to elementary physics: "The Toronto Man Machine, weighing 6.2 kg, is running east at approximately 25 m/s when Furious Jacob Forsyth, weighing 4.7 kg and running north at 32 m/s, collides with him. Find their final velocity and the direction of their combined motion. Assume a perfectly elastic collision and that neither cat loses mass from the resulting face-ripping."

[Emergent_C]

Something tells me the utter classlessness of the repast and ambiencelessness of the environs will enrage Ray far more than 2,999 dudes trying to kill him.

The only way you could get Ray more riled up than by giving him Safeway turkey and cheap brandy would be to insult his mama.