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[Ben-San]

Also, I think the precipitate joke is funny.

Right up there with "I come to barium cesium, not to praseodymium"?

[misterqueue]

Right up there with "I come to barium cesium, not to praseodymium"?

Euripides trousers? Yeah, Eumenides trousers?


Okay more of an Old Lit joke, but hey.. I was a lit kid, what do you expect?

[V-Adore]

Right up there with "I come to barium cesium, not to praseodymium"?

That's a new one on me, but it's delightful. Huzzah!

[AugustWest]

So, one atom says to the other atom, "I think I lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" his friend asks.
"I'm positive."

[Ben-San]

So, one atom says to the other atom, "I think I lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" his friend asks.
"I'm positive."

I thought only "hipsters" liked ionic humor these days.

[robot_god]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "My good man, how much for a gin and tonic?"

Tender replies, "For you?  No charge."



Man, I wish I could take a can away from myself for that.

[Hobo Frenzy]

*****_God I'm sorry, but I actually just gave you a can for your joke. It reminded me of my high school physics teacher and I loved him, he was the coolest! He used to tell jokes like that all the time and I think I was the only one that appreciated it.

[Bobby Isosceles]

I thought only "hipsters" liked ionic humor these days.

HIPSTERS GRAH
also nice pun

[pmcd9]

I thought only "hipsters" liked ionic humor these days.

HIPSTERS GRAH
also nice pun

Oh, I get it now.

~Paul

[littlefallsmets]

Which, of course, brings us to the worst science joke/rhyme of all time:

My brother was a chemist
He isn't anymore
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4

[AugustWest]

Heisenberg gets stopped by a cop.
"Excuse me sir," the cop says as he reaches the car. "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I'm certain I was heading South" he replied

A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a drink?".
The bartender replies: "For you, there's no charge".

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Chicken foot.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain goat?
Goats & mosquitos don't multiply! One's a scalar & ones a vector!

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician were talking together outside a building on campus when they noticed two people entering the building. Some time later three people exited.
The biologist said, "The must have procreated."
The physicist said, "My initial observation must have been incorrect."
The mathematician said, "If one more person enters that building there will be zero people inside."

Q: What is a milliHelen?
A: The amount of beauty that will launch one ship.


What does the "H." in Jesus H. Christ stand for?
Haploid

3 statisticians are out bowhunting. They spot a deer. The first one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the right of the deer. The second one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the left of the deer. The third one says, "We got him!"

recursive
re·cur·sive
adj
1: see recursive

Three friends from med school meet at their 10 year reunion and decide to go duck hunting the next morning.
When they arrive, the first, a general practioner, says that they must be careful to shoot only ducks because of the game laws. At that moment some unidentified birds fly overhead.
the second, a surgeon, stands up and blasts away with his shotgun, downing one of the birds.
After the dog retrieves the fowl, he turns to the third, a pathologist, and says, "Is this a duck?"

[LCB]

Is this TOUAMB or a page from an old Reader's Digest joke collection I'm reading here?

[Crun]

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician were talking together outside a building on campus when they noticed two people entering the building. Some time later three people exited.
The biologist said, "The must have procreated."
The physicist said, "My initial observation must have been incorrect."
The mathematician said, "If one more person enters that building there will be zero people inside."

You got a laugh.

Couldn't be a Reader's Digest thread, there's no stories about drill sargeants.

[Suckin_Dick]

Damn, that's funny.

[V-Adore]

Q: What is a milliHelen?
A: The amount of beauty that will launch one ship.

This was a new one on me. I laughed.

What does the "H." in Jesus H. Christ stand for?
Haploid

... and I spent an embarrassing amount of my adolescence saying "Jesus Haploid Christ!" as my fake-swear of choice. Somehow, I'm not ashamed...