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[melack]

You're probably right. But a dude can hope.

[melack]

I was hoping it would never get to this point, but I've done it. I've added a player that was already on my roster at one point in the season. Welcome back, Sheff. You've completed the full circle.

[melack]

Fuck me right in the ass with a giant black cock.

[littlefallsmets]

Radiodread... good game, well-enjoyed.

Notes on this week in TOUAMB Made-Up Baseball:

How did I only get one stolen base this week? How does this happen? I should be getting two out of Juan Pierre a week ALONE. This is the only reason I start him every day he plays. I mean, he hits a decent average and scores runs but, seriously, the stolen bases are the only reason he's in the roster 6 or 7 days a week.

How did I only steal one base (Chase Utley, somehow!) and still get the tie in that category?

***

Why does the Can't-Cut List still think that Justin Mourneau is worthy of being on the list? It's a serious cockblock in my attempts to upgrade my team, when I have three other players I can start at the position... two of which (Kent, Green) I want to start every day and one of which (Youklis) who can play tons of positions on the off-days and at least scores runs.

I mean, the dude has solid power numbers but... shit average and can only play one position.

In the "real world" he would still be a great player to have at first but... in an eight-team fantasy league, only power at only one position is... okay off the bench but DEFINITELY not Can't Cut. I've had to pass up on four or five different upgrades at 1B or OF (or both in one player!) that people later snapped up because this above-average player is still Can't-Cut.

***

I have three of the top five relievers in terms of saves but... their WHIP and ERA are total crap. This is interesting to me.

***

Why can't I bring myself to part with Cabrera as my back-up SS? He only plays one position, terrible average, no power, scores some runs and... steals a few bases but... I could definitely upgrade off the free agent list. Is it just people I like that if Vlad goes on fire, Cabrera is scoring the runs he drives in and it's like a two-fer?

I don't understand myself.

[melack]

And yet you finished 8-0-2 for the week. Talk to me when your best pitcher goes down from shoulder surgery for 4 months.

[littlefallsmets]

My best reliever... BJ Ryan went down so long that I had to just drop him. I dropped Aramis Ramirez, like an idiot, when he was injured. Troy Glaus was on the DL for an extended period of time. I had to drop Figgins for the same reason and he's a five-position stolen base machine off the bench.

A dude is not unfamiliar with the injury bug. Keeping Figgins or Ramirez would've been a big boost and made those two ties into wins. I'm... a little obsessive compulsive, definitely.

...to the point where I dropped Cabrera for a rookie Cub who seems to be roughly equal except he's a multi-position player which is such a huge advantage off the bench that I had to just go with it.

[KeithHernandez]

Yeah, I uh... I got destroyed.  I need to make serious changes in my lineup, but I don't know what.  I got some other players last night.

Anyhow, good game LFM.

[melack]

Well, LFM, you were right about that Oliver Perez thing. He's kind of a tease. It's a good thing I've been stocking up on pitchers these past few weeks, to the point that my position player bench was only two-deep. I've weeded him out in favor of a base-stealer with absolutely no home run power at all.

Also: Man am I glad to have Roger Clemens off my hands. He's probably going to be great this year, and with the Yankees offense he's probably going to collect a ton of wins, but I just can't fuck*ng stand the guy. So I traded him for my favorite team's Japanese catcher!

[littlefallsmets]

I have said it before and I'll say it again:

I know more about the Mets than the Mets do. If I say something about the Mets, it's just true.

I am, of course, not all knowing on all subjects... but I know what I know.

Such subjects include... comparative religion, the Mets, screenwriting theory, the history of rural upstate New York, politics, American radio stations, comic books, the National Lampoon radio hour, Guns N Roses, progressive rock, good coffee and why all meat should be cooked well-done.

Oliver Perez and John Maine are complete and total dickteases. Sometimes they will decide to go eight innings giving up two hits and striking out ten. And sometimes they will let Bengie Molina hit two home runs off of them for some reason.

This is just another piece of Mets wisdom brought to you by me.

As for Roger... Roger is gonna be great but... yeah, to have him this early, you're gonna need a team that can sacrifice a roster spot for three weeks to hold onto him. I'm glad you worked something out, especially to get yourself a halfway-decent catcher.

Catchers are such a premium in our league... which makes it all the odder that somehow Motherfuckers has Posada, LoDuca AND Martin.

Every other team seems to either have one good catcher and one complete scrub backup or two mediocre catchers but... somehow, he's got three front-line starting catchers to the point where he's limited the flexibility of the rest of his bench.

I've spent the first five weeks of my team trying to... work around how over-strong I was at 1B and... I still haven't figured out how I could trade him fairly to someone else, without my getting ripped off just because I don't like that he only plays one position and can't hit for average.

I mean, he DOES hit home runs and he DOES get RBIs. I can't just throw him away for an afterthought... and I can't just drop him out of frustration.

[melack]

I've only had one catcher on my roster the whole year because I didn't want to have to deal with seeing if my catcher was going to get the day off or not, and then plugging in the backup. My offense has been so anemic lately that I can't really afford that luxury.

Is John Maine more reliable at least than Oliver Perez? I hope so, because that's the Met I kept.

My outfield has been an absolute revolving door, but I really haven't done much at all with my infield. This is mostly because my 1B is slumping, but he hit 58 homers last year so I have a lot of patience for him. My 2B I've switched a couple times, but not since like week 2. My SS and 3B are A-Rod and Jeter, and those guys have played like 164 games every season since the 1930s, so I'm not really worried about them.

[littlefallsmets]

Maine is definitely more reliable than Perez.

Maine's major problem is... losing focus mid-game and giving up a few dingers in an inning before he snaps out of it. If he had an attention span, he'd be a goddamn All-Star. And he's showing signs of at least having... more of one.

Perez is just all over the place. And it's not like Maine where he loses it at some point and then... a coach comes out and reminds him he's playing in a major league game and then he gets it together. There are just some days he completely has it and some days he doesn't at all.

[melack]

Man, I love it when a guy is added to your team, then a couple hours later it's revealed he's got groin tightness that will rob him of his speed for a few weeks and the only reason you added him is for stolen bases.

[littlefallsmets]

It's all about having multi-position players, 'lack.

If you got enough guys who can play multiple positions, you can cover semi-injuries like that like it ain't no thing.

In my thirteen batters, I got five guys who can play outfield (and hence hold any of the OF spots or utility, four slots) I got four guys who can play first, I got four guys who can play second, three guys who can play third, two guys who can play short and two guys who can catch.

I only got four guys who can only fill one slot and utility and... two of those guys are catchers... where it's very hard to find a frontline catcher who's eligible for other positions. The only two guys I've got who are non-outfield non-catcher batters who can't play multiple positions are... both on the Can't Cut list.

In my four-man bench yesterday (which went 8-18 with three home runs, sadly for me) those four guys could fill all eight hitting positions between them. Ya gotta have the whole thing plotted out.

[melack]

Dear Yahoo,

Thanks for telling me that Ryan Howard would miss the rest of the series against Arizona with a quadricep injury. Per your instructions, I benched him tonight. This is the same game that he would later come in for to get a pinch hit grand slam.

Fuck You,
Melack

[littlefallsmets]

Hey... it's a feast or famine thing.

I got a three-hit complete game shutout out of my newest pitcher...

And then my offense has gone 3-26 with one at-bat left tonight.

The only solace I've got is that I'm probably gonna field nine batters on a Thursday and... hopefully, I'll catch up on accumulated stats by sheer volume.