The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Do not bone your neighbor's wife. That is hella lame.

Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6   Go Down

Author Topic: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"  (Read 15519 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Turbo Ninja

  • A Tall Glass of Tuaca
  • Mr. Bear (Cornelius)
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 125
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 689
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #60 on: February 22, 2007, 01:59:18 pm »
Quote from: Bimmicus on February 21, 2007, 04:56:11 pm
topped off with the scrotum-like visage of felis onstadus.

Linnaeus would be hell of proud right now.  Good show.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9819
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #61 on: February 22, 2007, 02:17:52 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on February 22, 2007, 06:18:44 am
watch out. light taps can approach the natural frequency of the titties, and they will explode/kill you.

All soldiers must break step when approaching the titties.
Logged

iron_felix

  • Lie Bot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 65
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 373
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #62 on: February 22, 2007, 04:32:16 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on February 22, 2007, 06:18:44 am
watch out. light taps can approach the natural frequency of the titties, and they will explode/kill you.
Quote from: CortJstr on February 22, 2007, 02:17:52 pm
All soldiers must break step when approaching the titties.

What a delightful mental image.  Cans for you both.

Quote from: Alternate on February 22, 2007, 05:29:12 am
I kind of think of asses as more functional and tits as more decorative -- asses being more likely to provoke a "This is a homeboy!" reaction from me for that reason.  It just seems like there are more ways to complete the sentence "Man, I'd like to ____ that ass," than the sentence "Man, I'd like to ____ those tits."  Maybe just because asses are more durable. 

I remember reading somewhere that our hominid ancestors evolved titties when they began walking upright, because the ass was no longer at eye level and could not be displayed as prominently.  They are basically just decoys.
Logged

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5056
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #63 on: February 22, 2007, 05:24:18 pm »
If selection pressures weren't present, I wonder how big mammaries would be in humans.  Maybe they'd even regress when not needed for lactation. 
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #64 on: February 22, 2007, 07:39:21 pm »
don't you ever say that again.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #65 on: February 22, 2007, 08:10:50 pm »
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Rude Titties.

Caution: Rude Titties may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Rude Titties contain a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Rude Titties on concrete.

Discontinue use of Rude Titties if any of the following occurs:
 
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
or heart palpitations.

If Rude Titties begin to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Rude Titties may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Rude Titties should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Rude Titties, Truffles-of-the-Lady-Body Incorporated, and its parent company, Awesome Show Great Job Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Rude Titties include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Rude Titties have been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and are being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Rude Titties.

Rude Titties come with a lifetime warranty.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #66 on: February 22, 2007, 08:15:46 pm »
prolonged exposure to rude titties may cause combustion.

(too easy? I contemplated "asphyxiation.")
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9819
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #67 on: February 22, 2007, 08:24:30 pm »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on February 22, 2007, 08:10:50 pm
Discontinue use of Rude Titties if any of the following occurs:
 
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
or heart palpitations.

Several of those effects are the exact reasons I seek out exposure to Rude Titties in the first place.
Logged

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #68 on: February 22, 2007, 08:41:01 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr
Several of those effects are the exact reasons I seek out exposure to Rude Titties in the first place.

Then you have truely moved up to the next level.

Expect your ecret-say acobell-tay menu in the mail shortly.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

Muse_Of_Fire

  • Showbiz
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 27
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 210
  • Purveyor of Tomcoolery
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #69 on: February 24, 2007, 04:38:18 am »
I'm trying not to let this plot get to me. On the one hand, I find it very funny, and this thread has been making me giggle. On the other hand, I'm feeling sort of bummed because I have very polite titties. I carry all my rudeness on my derrierre. I'm hoping Ray will find a way to appreciate rudeness wherever it may reside on a woman.

I don't know why I feel I need to be validated by Ray. But I do.

I think it's that ballerina f'ed-uppedness talking.

As to a Breast Man drink... I've been wracking my brain for a couple of days. Seems to me it should somehow include Liebfraumilch wine, but I don't think that mixes well with anything. In fact, it's impossible to enjoy it by itself, even.
Logged
I'm afraid of ending up like Dugger.

Muse_Of_Fire

  • Showbiz
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 27
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 210
  • Purveyor of Tomcoolery
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #70 on: February 24, 2007, 05:02:34 am »
Okay... well, maybe it should be made with Midori, since, you know, it's a melon liqueur? But then again a breast man would likely not want to drink a fruity drink. Still, I did some checking around on the Midori site, and found The Japanese Slipper, which definitely has the right appearance... although, as mentioned, I don't really see a breast man enjoying a fruity drink in a bar. ;)

For the record, a Midori caipirinha sounds abominable.

Logged
I'm afraid of ending up like Dugger.

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #71 on: February 24, 2007, 09:23:20 am »
It is not necessarily where you are rude or how you are rude, it is that you have an essential rudeness. This is what matters. That you are rude in a manner that befits the ways you desire to rude your way through life.

Rudely-large titties would not be that useful to a lady trying to be truly rude at ballet. Balance issues would hell of throw off your balance when doing... those spin things and... that stuff on the tippy toes and... those crazy bends that no one should really be able to do.

Rudeness is an intrinsically Marxist quality.

From each, their rude abilities. To each, their needed rudeness.

I am rude sized and have a rudely-overactive imagination. These are the rudeness I provide.

Most of the dancers I have known have had devastatingly rude legs and tummies. All that exercise and so forth.

Rude people of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your chains.

What parts of you are rude, why you are rude, how you are rude... these are lesser points.

Just as long as you are rude. King Chochacho will handle the rest.

BE. RUDE. TOTALLY.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #72 on: February 24, 2007, 11:28:52 am »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on February 24, 2007, 09:23:20 am
Rudeness is an intrinsically Marxist quality.

You are on a serious roll lately. Canned.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

Arachno-capitalist

  • Jacobean Fuckbot
  • Mom-Mom's Weepin' Eye
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 319
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3967
  • Ostriches and I have a history. So I eat them.
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #73 on: February 24, 2007, 03:52:51 pm »
Rude tits are not marxist. Rude tits are Capitalist all the way.
Logged
Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

MattFish

  • Lie Bot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 43
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 371
  • A perch with a cramp / Half-pound ahi burger
    • View Profile
Re: February 21, 2007 - "A perfectly acceptable car that I sold to a stranger"
« Reply #74 on: February 24, 2007, 07:08:20 pm »
Quote from: Muse_Of_Fire on February 24, 2007, 05:02:34 am
Okay... well, maybe it should be made with Midori, since, you know, it's a melon liqueur? But then again a breast man would likely not want to drink a fruity drink. Still, I did some checking around on the Midori site, and found The Japanese Slipper, which definitely has the right appearance... although, as mentioned, I don't really see a breast man enjoying a fruity drink in a bar. ;)

For the record, a Midori caipirinha sounds abominable.



that does sound abominable. I don't have any Midori kicking around so I can't try that, but I'm just gonna throw the possible combination of cognac, midori and white grapefruit out there. it'll be a sickly color though, just like any midori drink.
Logged
I finally found a nice picture of a giraffe
Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6   Go Up
« previous next »