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Once you been to a few weddings, you realize ain’t nobody gives a damn if you readin’ custom vows or the 1987 “Let’s Go!” guide to Bahrain. Just use that stuff about Do/Don’t and Sickness or Health and you gonna get the job done.  -=RAY=-

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Author Topic: Back when people ate watermelons  (Read 5601 times)

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side_show

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2007, 01:23:10 pm »
Hey, check out the new sig.

Also, this carved melon was huge, but the colour of a cantaloupe.  I wanted to bite it so bad.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2007, 10:09:54 pm »
My grandfather used to grow watermelons in Virginia. And when he would go out to harvest the watermelons certain people would come to the back of his truck and steal some melons and run away. He got seriously tired of losing melons to thievery so one day he had someone else drive the truck while he hid out in the back with the melons. And sure enough he saw a hand come out from the side and try to grab one his melons....
He cut the hand off with a meat cleaver.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

side_show

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2007, 10:29:10 pm »
good lord!
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KeithHernandez

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2007, 11:00:16 pm »
Holy shit.


My granddad (well, all four of my grandparents) was a horrible alcoholic.  He also was a lawyer, and the firm owned a plane.  Well, all of the other (people whose name is in the law firm) were alcoholics to, and one time the cut off one of the mechanics arms when they were trying to start the plane drunk.  Stories like this and yours make me wish I was born 80 years earlier.  Is that bad?  I mean, I don't want to cut off peoples arms, but I want the chance to fly a plane drunk or cut off someones arm who is stealing my watermelons or drive a lawn mower to the liquor store when I am too drunk to drive without the police being involved.
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #34 on: March 13, 2007, 11:04:59 pm »
And to think I was impressed with my grandad's amateur undertaking.

(Note that when I say "amateur undertaking" I am not referring to some unspecified pursuit he undertook on an amateur basis; I mean that he had the ashes of several friends and acquaintances in his garden shed.)
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #35 on: March 13, 2007, 11:12:59 pm »
See pops cutting some guy's hand off for stealing a melon is definitely a thing. But I want to know what happened in the 10 minutes following
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #36 on: March 14, 2007, 01:10:40 am »
Quote from: side_show on March 13, 2007, 01:23:10 pm
Hey, check out the new sig.

Sweet, I'm famous.  I like to think that if you hadn't attributed it to me eventually I would have followed in the footsteps of Judy and Paul, innocently posting to ask why you were so into watermelons.  That is a dream of mine. 
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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #37 on: March 31, 2007, 11:09:33 pm »
Quote from: iron_felix on March 12, 2007, 04:03:18 am
I can just picture a dude with a strawboater and a handlebar mustache, sitting on a checkered blanket eating a picnic of watermelons.

I wasn't wearing a straw hat, but I had watermelon yesterday.  It wasn't that great though because it's too early in the year.

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #38 on: April 01, 2007, 01:53:45 am »
Quote from: KeithHernandez on March 13, 2007, 11:00:16 pm
My granddad (well, all four of my grandparents) was a horrible alcoholic.

This fact blindsided me.

I'm just fuck*ng with you - both of my parents and all three brothers are alcoholics/drug addicts.
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jough

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Re: Back when people ate watermelons
« Reply #39 on: April 01, 2007, 03:10:08 am »
Quote from: side_show on March 13, 2007, 01:01:18 am
The only one I can think of that could use the content provided by the ladies of TOUAMB for his own profit is Jough. 

"TOUAMBies gone wild! 

I was thinking the same thing as I went through the photos thread.  Actually, I was thinking "Dang, we gots some fine lookin' chochachas* up in this piece!" But then the "TOUAMBers GONE WILD" thing came in a close second.

Also, I like watermelon, but I haven't had a decent one in years.

I bought a blender today, though, so I may get a wassermelon just to make some kind of watermelon smoothie.


* Feminine ending of chochachos
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