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[littlefallsmets]

Don't get all macho about it, though - no shame in making sex better with science. That is what science is for.

Can'd for motherfuckin' truth.

[rabidambulance]

Not me, personally, most sex-act pornography turns me off because I just start thinking of what terrible things happened to them that made them make sex-act pornography and I start feeling guilty and just wanna give them a blanket and a hot cocoa and tell them it's okay.

This is the same reason I am not into strip bars. My liberal guilt ninja is strong.

I had a suggestion for that issue, but reading it over I realized that it basically made me into the crappest of crap dudes.

So instead, I'm going to cower here in my recently discovered shame.  If my Dr. Pepper cans are children, they should be taken away from me.

[littlefallsmets]

I am not saying there isn't any pornography in my life.

I enjoy a still picture of a sexy naked lady as much as anyone who is into ladies. I am into saucy stories as just about any straight-identified dude could be. And there is some awesome softcorey stuff that is live action that I can't deny is pretty awesome.

But when it's just two people gruffling each other for money, because they were messed-up in the heads as kids and their self-esteem is so fucked that they think this is the only way to make money or... because they are so into Hard Drugs that it is just the easiest way to get more or... because they are legitimately crazy in some way... man, I can't do it. It hurts me that people are that messed-up.

For some reason, someone just getting naked and having a picture taken, in front of one cameraman and an assistant or whatever... I can think that maybe it is about something other than a pathological desire to debase oneself. It could BE as a lark, it could BE just for money, it could BE because you're trying to keep afloat while trying to be a model or an actress or something.

But when you're fuckin' in front of a camera, when you're grinding your bunny against a drunk trucker's mustache for a twenty dollar bill, a line is crossed and I want to get you cocoa and a blanket.

[ack-47]

See, that's why I mostly like amateur porn. For some reason the people involved want to be seen going at it. I'm cool with that.

On the other hand, winding up in porn-for-pay is usually in the blanket-and-cocoa department and I feel pretty bad about most professional porn.

[littlefallsmets]

See, that's why it's definitely Liberal Guilt for me.

It isn't even about getting paid or not... it's about crossing the line from getting naked and maybe posing a little bit and... feeling the need to have total strangers you will never interact with in any other way watch you fuckin'/being fucked/etc.

I can't shake the idea that such an impulse has to be the result of Terrible Things happening to you.

I mean, if you are into voyeurism and you wanna fuck and have a third party indirectly in your sex act by watching and getting off? That is weird to me but might just be a really intense fetish thing. You are still bringing a person you chose into your intimacy and all that.

But strangers you will never meet/never interact with outside of that context?

In my head it can only be about wanting to feel awful about yourself.

[ack-47]

Hey look, sMets found a way to double his output here.

I can't shake the feeling I have just been ice-burned.

[littlefallsmets]

Uh... this ack person is not me "sockpuppeting" if that's what you're saying.

Nor is AK a person I know from some other context, as far as I am aware.

I'm not being defensive, I just... don't quite understand what you mean.

[theinevitable]

my liberal guilt is strong, but my reptilian-brain-fuck-urge is stronger.

amateur is hell of where it's at. Although then I start imagining these guys being like "come on baby, just once, I just want to see..." and then posting it on the internet for everyone.

[V-Adore]

See, my problem is that I've never seen a porn film with sex so hot it managed to really hold my attention. The Gentleman Caller has tried to expose me to some high-class stuff -- you know, all Candida Royalle and such, very sex-positive -- and I get distracted by stupid things, like people's ludicrously '70's/'80's outfits, and the fact that Candida Royalle named herself after the organism that causes yeast infections. Or I end up thinking about the "plot." Or, y'know... a thousand other things. Maybe this means I'm secretly asexual or something, but damn.

[ack-47]

See, my problem is that I've never seen a porn film with sex so hot it managed to really hold my attention. The Gentleman Caller has tried to expose me to some high-class stuff -- you know, all Candida Royalle and such, very sex-positive -- and I get distracted by stupid things, like people's ludicrously '70's/'80's outfits, and the fact that Candida Royalle named herself after the organism that causes yeast infections. Or I end up thinking about the "plot." Or, y'know... a thousand other things. Maybe this means I'm secretly asexual or something, but damn.

Yeah, most porn pretty much cold sucks. If you're not enthusiastic enough on the prospect of boning enough to ignore the more preposterous stuff, there's next to nothing worthwhile. And the people with that kind of enthusiasm (read: desperately high libido) are mostly men.

Which reinforces the porn industry's already pretty off-putting male-centeredness. This is why mainstream porn is generally boner-killing: If I wanted to watch a film about how awesome it is to have a c*ck I'd be watching old John Wayne movies or something, not porn, thanks.

EDIT: Wow, p0n0s filters to c*ck here. Intriguing.

[Ben-San]

If it helps with the liberal guilt, "AV Idols" (adult video stars) are often considered legitimate performers in Japan, and it is seen as a potentially viable way of moving into a larger career. So there's that option.

This does not address any of the other reasons to be uncomfortable with Japanese porno, of course.

[ack-47]

If it helps with the liberal guilt, "AV Idols" (adult video stars) are often considered legitimate performers in Japan, and it is seen as a potentially viable way of moving into a larger career. So there's that option.

This does not address any of the other reasons to be uncomfortable with Japanese porno, of course.

Yeah, what sums Japanese porn/sexuality up in a nutshell for me is that Japanese lesbian porn apparently involves each chick pretending the other is raping her.

It's pretty awful.

[pmcd9]

I sort of sympathize with Pat here - getting the three rooms and all. 

I used to live in an apartment where the building used to be fewer, enormous apartments that were later broken up into several smaller ones.  The added divider walls were the opposite of sound proof.  The sunroom off my kitchen used to be a shared sunroom with the apartment on the other side of it.  Instead of keeping it like that, it had been divided with a thin piece of plywood so thin that it bent if you pushed on it, and with gaps at the bottom and top that allowed full sound carry over.  One day I was sitting out there, heard the sound of a single set of foot steps enter the otherside:  walk, walk, sit... furious masterbation!  I gave a few polite "cough, cough" noises to alert the fellow that I was there.  I made a few more obvious sounds, then I realized he knew I was there before he had started, that he was intentionally involving me.  I left the sunroom and closed the door.

In the same apartment, my bedroom and a different neighbour's bedroom had once been one room - the wall between wasn't as thin as the sunroom divider, but it was definitely not sound proof at all.  It was vacant for the first 6 months or so of my living there.  Then someone moved in- her alarm clock might as well have been next to my bed, I knew exactly when she had a cold, etc.  It never occurred to me to complain about this, because... what could be done?  A little while later, the landlord came knocking.  A burly jovial sort of guy.  He was clearly uncomfortable... "Um... I don't know how to tell you this... the girl next door is complaining about some... noises... while you're in the bedroom... when your boyfriend is over...I'm sorry... she says it's very loud."  I told him not to be uncomfortable, I taught sex ed... that it was a sound proofing issue, not a "me being loud issue" - that I could hear every cough, that I woke up to her alarm three hours before I had to get up, that I could hear every phone conversation.  "Well, maybe try... a ball gag?" I explained we were not being excessively loud, but that we would try to be quieter, but that with the way sound carried, that not much could be done.  He kept talking, and talking and kept saying "ball gag" over and over again... Once he got warmed up, there was no stopping him!  Later I got a letter of apology from the girl next door about her complaining about the sex sounds, which was just the funniest thing ever.  After she moved out a new girl with a boyfriend moved in, and I got to hear exactly what the other girl had been hearing. 

Other people's sex sounds... so very awkward!

Also, in the same building a floor above, I got to hear the guy sing loudly in his tub (cute) and beat his girlfriend (awful).

I never met any of these people.  I just heard their noises, and they heard mine.

The Astoria Notes

[CortJstr]

See, my problem is that I've never seen a porn film with sex so hot it managed to really hold my attention. The Gentleman Caller has tried to expose me to some high-class stuff -- you know, all Candida Royalle and such, very sex-positive -- and I get distracted by stupid things, like people's ludicrously '70's/'80's outfits, and the fact that Candida Royalle named herself after the organism that causes yeast infections. Or I end up thinking about the "plot." Or, y'know... a thousand other things. Maybe this means I'm secretly asexual or something, but damn.

Plot? It seems like more and more porn is moving away from plot and more towards "this is Amber, she's 19, and is going to blow these 12 guys"

[Drastic Action]

Have you done a lot of research on this? Would you say that you are worldly in terms of this?

He isn't saying that no straight couples do this; he is saying that no one he knows does, and he is asking the status of this type of thing among homosexuals, which seems a legitimate enough question.  You don't need to jump all over him!  Maybe Nabubrush needs to drink (a little less)? 

And indeed, a porn lacking both feeling and heat is kind of like watching someone build a cupboard or something, for all the arousal it inspires.  Sure, all the male and female parts are there, but they are also in anatomy books, and there usually is a point (shortly after puberty) where such things cease to titillate entirely of their own accord.

I have an ex who once nonchalantly mentioned that she could see herself becoming a stripper if she felt more secure about her body.  This was extremely off-putting to me, because I saw the reason against being a stripper as being a hell of a lot deeper than some vain esteem about your appearance.  She didn't seem to understand this.  The reasons you folks (like mets) have against porn seem to sum up my reasons against showing off your body to anyone who would pay, so it resonates with me.