Okay, FIELD REPORT.
Have any of you party people ever hit your tailbone?
That is what Brazilian waxing feels like. It's like getting beaten on the tailbone repeatedly for about 35 minutes, except other parts of your anatomy are also involved. You're half paralyzed, the pain is searing and intense, and jesus god does it ever hurt.
Well...not all of it. Some of the strips she pulled weren't that bad. But some of them...SWEET BABY JESUS. She had to get me 2 cold washcloths, one for my forehead and one to press to my loins. I didn't cry or yell or scream, but that was only due to an extreme force of sheer willpower. After the appointment I drove to kellichou's house, got some ice in a plastic bag, and just stood there in her bathroom, ******less, holding the ice pack to my loins and whimpering inwardly.
Anyway, the lady was awesome and extremely professional. I stopped shaving for about 3 weeks to let my follicles do their thing, and the waxer said that they were the perfect length. Also, dudes get Brazilians too.
I couldn't even go the whole enchilada because after about 35 minutes I started to get really nauseated from the pain. I had to tap out. I ended up getting a triangle instead of the landing strip I had initially decided upon. Maybe next time I'll get more waxed off.
Some considerations:
1. Even though it hurt like a bitch, I'm gonna get it done again. The endorphin rush was crazy, and I've been flying high on it all day since. It looks cool as hell and it feels really weird in a good way! She said that my skin was amazing and that I likely wouldn't have much trouble with bumps. Since I've been shaving for almost as long as I've had a lawn, I am the queen of exfoliation. I think that this is why My Area did so well.
2. Get some EMLA cream, which is a prescription analgesic. If you can't swing that, then get some Bactine. You will need it. I did not do this and I sorely regretted it.
3. Take some Ibuprofen (Advil) about 20 minutes beforehand. I did not do this and I sorely regretted it.
4. Have a friend (DD) drive you to the appointment, and stop for some Margaritas and tequila shots right before the appointment. Seriously, I really fuckin' wish I could have done this. If you do this, then omit the Ibuprofen so you don't 'splode your liver. I did not do this and I sorely regretted it.
5. Get some witch hazel pads, an ice pack, and some soothing lotion (Aveeno has a Calming cream that is amazing). Also get some tea tree or other gentle antiseptic for The Area. Get them beforehand, or else you'll be miserably mincing through the aisles of the drugstore trying to desperately cobble together supplies to soothe your ravaged Area.
6. Do not wear good panties to the visit. There will be blood and wax on them afterwards. Not a lot, but it would look really bad on expensive white Cosabella panties. Also...wear granny ******, not a thong. You want cotton. I did not do this and I sorely regretted it.
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Topic: ...Brazilian? What the hell? (Read 17816 times)