AW, I think you're totally missing the point. I am talking about
accountability in the age of denial. I am not excusing the Kansan woman's behavior at all, I am attacking the pervasive societal view of domestic violence where women get blamed. I am not saying that this particular woman in this particular incident was innocent or guilty. You're right, AW. I was not there. However, even being a bystander doesn't mean that you have the whole story. Hell, even being the medic on scene doesn't mean I have the complete picture. But you know what? I've been on a lot more domestic violence calls than you have. I've seen it up close, live, and in person. I've taken women to the clinic with horrible injuries. I have also been there to help young men who were sexually assaulted in giraffe processing bunkhouses. Some of them lash out at us, and who can blame them? The ones that assault us or spit on us are taken into custody, but they still get help from our domestic violence shelter.
In Paul's instance, the cops took both of them to jail. Even if you're the victim of violence, it doesn't give you carte blanche to break the law. However, our police chief is also on the board with me. The stories that he told about some of the other departments that he worked at were terrifying. He saw asshole cops withno training in domestic violence who did stupid shit to punish the victim.
In Castle Rock, nearby to where I live in Colorado, a perpetrator also happened to be a cop committed a heinous crime. His wife pleaded with the department to enforce the restraining order that she had. He kidnapped all three of her children, and murdered them. In
Castle Rock v. Gonzales, the Supreme Court ruled that the town and its police department could not be sued for failure to enforce the order.
The CRPD took a gamble to protect "one of their own", blatantly disregarded the law, and guess what? He murdered three little girls. It does not mean that all men are murderers, it means that perpetrators -- whomever they are -- are guilty whether or not they get caught.