The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood Irish Nachos are a charming take on the original, but I wonder what Uighur Nachos would be like. A mutton leg on a crisped pita?

Pages: 1 ... 322 323 [324] 325 326 ... 878   Go Down

Author Topic: Today I'm gonna...  (Read 1342327 times)

0 Members and 162 Guests are viewing this topic.

lprkn

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 244
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1907
  • Hella yellin' about the sex
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4845 on: July 05, 2009, 01:10:04 am »
Do it for the children.
Logged

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5056
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4846 on: July 05, 2009, 05:31:32 pm »
Some TSA functionary saw that he was in the Left Bank and got confused with the West Bank.
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4847 on: July 05, 2009, 06:22:34 pm »
Probably some computer picked up on the fact that he is a college student studying Arabic.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

Toaster

  • King of the Make-Outs
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 193
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 629
  • I'll have you slayed!
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4848 on: July 05, 2009, 09:57:30 pm »
Quote from: AugustWest on July 05, 2009, 06:22:34 pm
Probably some computer picked up on the fact that he is a college student studying Arabic.

I hope that's not what it is. That shit is not cool.
If that's what it is, then we should all write gently-worded letters to the TSA, become too scared to mail them, put them in a drawer, and have a toilet party.
Logged
My OCD makes me care about things.

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4849 on: July 06, 2009, 12:16:07 am »
Not to turn this conversation into a whole thing but it's shit like this that makes me less likely to want to visit your nice country these days. Not that I think that's enough to keep me off whatever watch list (my gov probably has an equivalent too).
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4850 on: July 06, 2009, 03:12:31 am »
Quote
Probably some computer picked up on the fact that he is a college student studying Arabic.
This is probably what it is.

Berkeley is rad. Lots of cute girls. Lots of cool stores. Lots of people who are into linguistics and anthropology. YEAH.

This random girl said she liked my jacket, and I did not have sex with her. OH, YOU KNOW HOW I AM.

Also my most recent not-having-sex-with story was not a problem on my end. I take solace in that, at least. "Sorry dude, I believe in the idea of going to Hell" is not something I can twist so that it's my fault.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4851 on: July 06, 2009, 04:52:49 am »
Interestingly, in terms of terrorist suspicions, I was watching the old 1980 Flash Gordon... you know... the Queen Flash Gordon?

And there's actually kind of a JOKE at the beginning about how Flash has been taking flying lessons but...

It's not enough to completely help when the pilot dies because he hadn't gotten to the lesson on the landing yet and that's kind of the gag?

It's such a campy movie, you know, it's almost a kid's movie if not for all the kinky sex stuff going down in it.

But in today's concept, that's just so much darker a joke. It just struck me.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4852 on: July 06, 2009, 07:11:27 am »
Quote from: theinevitable on July 06, 2009, 03:12:31 am
Sorry dude, I believe in the idea of going to Hell" is not something I can twist so that it's my fault.

Did you try suggesting you could take her to heaven first?
Totally worth the slapping.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4853 on: July 08, 2009, 05:12:44 am »
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Toaster

  • King of the Make-Outs
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 193
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 629
  • I'll have you slayed!
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4854 on: July 08, 2009, 08:15:37 am »
I very nearly quit the internet out of guilt today because I thought Jeph Jaques was mad at me. It turns out that he is not mad at me. So I'm not quitting the internet.
Logged
My OCD makes me care about things.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4855 on: July 08, 2009, 05:26:02 pm »
I find it hard to choose between a story with a murder and a story with an Otter Pop, so I guess I'll just wish you good luck either way.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Carlos del Vaca

  • The Mayor
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1316
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5007
  • Greetings from Banana Town
    • View Profile
    • bigfool.com
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4856 on: July 08, 2009, 09:21:17 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on July 08, 2009, 08:29:02 pm
Murder by Otter Pop would probably require me to poison the whole batch and then take the time to build up my own immunity to the poison chosen

Or, you could stab him with a sharpened Otter Pop.  Then eat the evidence.  Or just let it melt in the sink, since it'll have Jough's blood on it and you don't want to eat that.  I assume.
Logged
My friends call me the Mayor.
My enemies don't call me anything.  'Cuz they're all dead.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4857 on: July 09, 2009, 05:22:56 pm »
That was good.  Yes it was.

By the way, I told Jough you were coming to murder him.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4858 on: July 09, 2009, 05:41:07 pm »
But did you tell him to suspect the otter pops?
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #4859 on: July 09, 2009, 06:22:36 pm »
Quote from: wombat on July 09, 2009, 05:41:07 pm
But did you tell him to suspect the otter pops?

No, but it was his girlfriend eating a frozen lemonade that reminded me of Ash's plot.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.
Pages: 1 ... 322 323 [324] 325 326 ... 878   Go Up
« previous next »