At first I was

but then I

Wait, I'm confused... is it olive sadness/anger? The only thing olives are good for is making oil. Otherwise they are a gross textured like how I imagine eating and eyeball would feel, and foul tasting to boot. Unlike basically every other thing in my home. Oh, why must I have delicious left overs in the fridge, oh why is the pantry so fully stocked with things I would like to eat? Why must my Thai neighbour's cooking smells blow over on the breeze?
Anyway, I have been totally housebound today due to other issues related to preparing for the unspeakable tests tomorrow (any more details would be TMI, and as I will be stripped of all dignity tomorrow morning at the hospital I refuse to dwell on the minor indignities of right now). The tests are for something that is most likely nothing. I occasionally have sever digestive issues which usually occur when other around me have a stomach flu, but I always get hit 10X worse is all. As I was once hospitalized with sever food poisoning, it could just be that my tender guts are just sort of perma-tender due to that or there could be some more treatable underlying cause. Certain things like lactose intolerance and Celiac Disease have been ruled out already, and this is basically the last test I need to face before accepting that it's just the way it is.
The worst part - the program guide on the TV clearly indicates there are entertaining things to watch on the Food Network, but again, that would be torture. Also, commercials - they never has an affect on me day to day, but now I'm noticing everything looks tasty. Even from places like Arby's... seriously... Arby's looked good in the commercial I just saw, and I wouldn't normally want to eat at Arby's even if it were free.
TL:DR: I am all "fuck you chicken broth - you smell like roasted chicken but provide none of the meaty satisfaction."