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[jay-ell]

Yeah, I think task #1 will be writing down all the things I'd like to accomplish in the next month so I have a pool of ideas to draw from.

One nice thing is that I'll actually be able to take showers/baths in the morning instead of at night. I can't leave my daughter alone long enough to wash my hair -- I understand that other parents are able to do this with their 3 year olds, but mine really cannot be trusted -- so I have to either wait 'til Pedro gets home from work (which cuts into our family time) or let her get in the tub with me (which is not as much fun as it sounds). And in a week or two, when she starts taking the bus, I'll have about 45 minutes every morning (well, M - Th) to work out, take a shower, and dress myself without interruption. I haven't been able to do all those things in succession for six years.

[wombat]

OMG. That is why I had a puppy instead of a baby. Not only is the "constant supervision" period a lot shorter, you can put it in a cage and go out for a few hours and no one will call the county.

[jay-ell]

Yeah, but a pug won't eventually grow into a being capable of unloading the dishwasher or mowing the lawn.

[AugustWest]

Yeah, but a pug won't eventually grow into a being capable of unloading the dishwasher or mowing the lawn.

Capable yes.  Willing no.

[wombat]

It's a tradeoff, for sure.

[jay-ell]

My parenting goals:

1) Both offspring survive to adulthood

2) Instill in them sufficient affection that, when the time comes, they pick out a nice retirement home for me.

[CortJstr]

Yeah, but a pug won't eventually grow into a being capable of unloading the dishwasher or mowing the lawn.

A pug also won't wreck the car* or have wedding/college bills.



*probably

[jay-ell]

I'm not saying pets don't have advantages over kids -- significant ones, at that. I'm just saying...kids have some payoff, eventually.

Most of the time.

[miles]

How does a parent fool themselves into facing one more fuck*ng day?

Some thoughts on that.

[jay-ell]

I have a long thing I could post here, but instead I will just say that recently, I realized that my kids have taught me the value of not knowing things. It's not essential to anyone's existence, or even happiness, but it's a thing that would never have occurred to me if it weren't for my babies.

I believe that one should not have kids unless one feels a deep and inexplicable need to do so -- I know too many people who are parents by accident or because "it seemed like the next step" -- but I would argue (and I know you parents on the board will agree, in your more serious moments) that they do add a lot to your life beyond the cuteness factor when they're young. It's not really about being happy, so much as it is about getting the chance to look at life in a different way.

I guess that's why so many people who don't have kids travel extensively, or have really interesting hobbies, or do a lot of volunteer/charity work. They're all (equally valid) different paths to the same goal: being part of something bigger than yourself.

Too bad a lot of people with kids think that people who chose not to have any are self-centered child-haters. Dunno if you non-parents know this, (though how could you not?) but a lot of breeders view the child-free with equal doses of pity and scorn.

Sorry, we can go back to talking about how kids are aggravating balls of noise, laziness, and disease.

[wombat]

but a lot of breeders view the child-free with equal doses of pity and scorn.

Oh, don't worry, it goes both ways. I figure that on both sides it's the subset that is worried they made the wrong decision.

[miles]

Too bad a lot of people with kids think that people who chose not to have any are self-centered child-haters. Dunno if you non-parents know this, (though how could you not?) but a lot of breeders view the child-free with equal doses of pity and scorn.

Of course we do. And whatever, I don't hate kids but I'm definitely self-centered so they have me on one point. I also think that having kids is at least partly a self-centered act so I don't take that attitude too seriously. I don't mean to say that good parenting doesn't require selflessness, of course, and hooray for the good parents out there (as most of you parents on the board obviously are).

[jay-ell]

Oh, don't worry, it goes both ways. I figure that on both sides it's the subset that is worried they made the wrong decision.

True, true. There's a healthy contingent of people who need everyone else to validate their choices by making the same ones.

We call them, "Republicans."

[Choop]

Oh, don't worry, it goes both ways. I figure that on both sides it's the subset that is worried they made the wrong decision.

that's an insight i could have used the first time my wife and i were harangued for not wanting children.

and J: zing!

[Doc]

Marriage, kids and all that stuff have always seemed to be something that should be so important that there's no mental debate, you just do it because you have to. That's my rationalisation for not doing any of that yet, anyway.

Of course show me the real life choice that doesn't involve any fear/hesitancy/screaming and well, I'll call you a liar. But hey, here's hoping for some day.