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[jay-ell]

I did my part and went to a store to return something today. But the man won. No returns.

I hate that man.

But it was a locally-owned business so it doesn't count as The Man. Also, he let you do an exchange, so you didn't actually lose anything.

The dangers of having your spouse on the board with you -- I'm going to have to make sure I don't play fast & loose with my facts if you're going to be hanging around here.

[pmcd9]

TIG read this exchange and get a big chuckle.

[littlefallsmets]

Today I'm gonna realize that someone paid me 250 dollars to write a parody of Twas The Night Before Christmas with vampires and... yeah, life is weird.

[jaydub]

Make sure you post while under the influence of dental anaesthetic.

[pmcd9]

Quietly puts trumpet under lock and key.

[littlefallsmets]

You wrote something and let someone else actually read it and pay you for it?

It's baby steps but yeah.

A two page poem is not a four-hundred page novel or ninety-five page screenplay but yes.

Baby steps.

[wombat]

That seems like really good pay for a two page poem.

[littlefallsmets]

Yeah, a friend of mine who makes her living writing and editing e-books for people commissioned me kinda out of the blue.

Needed it for part of a project.

Seems like almost too much money for a coupla hours of work but if the money's green I can't comp...leen?

Can I mispronounce "complain" to make the rhyme work?

(To be fair, I am genuinely very very good at parody writing. It is a skill that not everyone appreciates and it is not always that useful or valuable but I am kinda great at that kind of writing.)

[wombat]

They're not just paying for the two hours, though. They're paying for your greatness. I'm serious - the point is that you can do it, and apparently this person thinks she can't, or not nearly as well, even if she put in a lot more hours. Right?

But, most people who pay writers don't realize that. So good for you.

[pmcd9]

(To be fair, I am genuinely very very good at parody writing. It is a skill that not everyone appreciates and it is not always that useful or valuable but I am kinda great at that kind of writing.)

Dude, the shit you put on Facebook is funnier than Saturday Night Live. Apply for that job.

[jay-ell]

Yay Smets!

[wombat]

...remember that sometimes you just have to step away when someone IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET.

[Pedro Picasso]

Seems like almost too much money for a coupla hours of work but if the money's green I can't comp...leen?

"In business, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate." -Chester L. Karrass

Hearing that for the first time was a revelation for me. I used to think there was a pay/effort ratio. Then I thought it was pay/time. Then pay/value created. The more I work, the more I see those connections only exist if you can't get away from them. They're usually make-believe. I basically feel like I've tricked people into thinking it's a good idea to pay me as much as they do. I spend most of my time trying to do good work, but some of my time trying to figure out how to trick them harder.

If you think of money as some sort of score or measure of worth, you will either A) get little money and feel worthless or B) get lots of money and feel like a fraud. I'm glad that you are making steps from being rad to being rad for money. Money is great. Just remember to use it as legal tender and not as a yardstick.

You've all probably heard all this before, but it's been a big deal for me to learn it, and I'm supposed to be a grown man.

(To be fair, I am genuinely very very good at parody writing. It is a skill that not everyone appreciates and it is not always that useful or valuable but I am kinda great at that kind of writing.)

I'll bet. Is there any chance we can see this in advance? Can we buy it soon?

[wombat]

Hey, are pocket watches still a thing?

I have a thing in my pocket that I use to check the time. It's better than the old ones, because it also has the internet on it and even makes phone calls.

[jay-ell]

Pedro has a few pocket watches. One of them was a gift from me to him on our wedding day. They are not terribly useful, but they are A Hallmark of Classiness, IMHO.