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[KeithHernandez]

Oh fuck that guy

[theinevitable]

Plot twist: my old roommate, whose opinion I trust about this stuff, agrees with the guy. And says, "I don't think he is calling you a bigot. You are turning this into a personal thing when it isn't." They all agree. Everyone has been sitting here watching me embarrass myself on this stupid mailing list. I can't decide if all of my friends are jerks, or I need to learn to deal with arguments better. Maybe the second one. My immature feeling about this is, "I never call you out on the stupid shit you do and say, so why can't you just leave me alone to hate myself in peace?"

I need to work on that meditating thing. I am having a lot of conversations lately that make me realize I have a deeply weird brain. And I think this friend has a deeply weird brain in an opposite way. He is a man with remarkable control of his self and his mind. I am not. I am one of those guys Keith and Ash don't like, who has trouble doing things.

The ironic thing is, ever since that Chicago Adventure I have felt a lot better about this kind of stuff. I suppose it was bound to wear off eventually. It was, frankly, a kind of life-changing realization when I came back and... none of my friends laughed at me, or told me I was stupid. My dad didn't say "I told you so." I did not feel humiliated and rejected. I felt proud, and like I wanted to tell people about this cool thing I did. The roommate I normally argue with a lot told me he was really impressed, because he didn't think I had it in me. My mom hugged me and told me about her worst breakup. No one thought I was a fuck-up.

[wombat]

The thing I said that I am being excoriated for: "The German language sounds angry."

That is a bizarre thing to call you a bigot for. On the other hand, as someone with a background in linguistics, you know that it is a silly thing to say, but a silly thing that most English speakers agree with etc, and should have been able to present the statement with the appropriate analytical context.  On the third hand, you are definitely not a fuck-up.

[jay-ell]

The ironic thing is, ever since that Chicago Adventure I have felt a lot better about this kind of stuff. I suppose it was bound to wear off eventually. It was, frankly, a kind of life-changing realization when I came back and... none of my friends laughed at me, or told me I was stupid. My dad didn't say "I told you so." I did not feel humiliated and rejected. I felt proud, and like I wanted to tell people about this cool thing I did. The roommate I normally argue with a lot told me he was really impressed, because he didn't think I had it in me. My mom hugged me and told me about her worst breakup. No one thought I was a fuck-up.

Best possible outcome. We are all pretty narcissistic to think that people care what we do or if we fail. It's a lot harder to take those risks when it's your own skin, though. We all think we're special. For example, I wonder if I'll be so lucky if I decide to take this business partnership opportunity and end up running the store into the ground?

That is a bizarre thing to call you a bigot for. On the other hand, as someone with a background in linguistics, you know that it is a silly thing to say, but a silly thing that most English speakers agree with etc, and should have been able to present the statement with the appropriate analytical context.  On the third hand, you are definitely not a fuck-up.

So which of these three hands do you mouse with? I'm so confused.

Also, loving the filters in this thread.

That is a pretty ridiculous thing to be called a bigot over. But sometimes...you just have to let people have the last word, you know?

[side_show]

Go work on "giving a fuck" less.

[theinevitable]

I am trying pretty hard, but I think it might not be a battle I ever win. Something about being compared to a person who talks about being scared of muslims kind of sets me off.

[littlefallsmets]

One of the greatest bits on the old Dana Carvey show was about this very topic.

But I'm sure I've shared that here, right?

[pmcd9]

So which of these three hands do you mouse with? I'm so confused.

You're talking about masturbation of course?

The Dana Carvey Show? I shudder to think.

[side_show]

I am trying pretty hard, but I think it might not be a battle I ever win. Something about being compared to a person who talks about being scared of muslims kind of sets me off.

this coming from a guy who is fine making generalized statements about every girl.

[theinevitable]

oh god, you're right.

I am thinking a lot about how to learn to take these things less personally. Part of it is that I see every tiny argument as some sort of epic battle between opposing views of the world. Actually, yeah, that is most of it. I need to get over that. I stopped following this angry urbanist guy I used to follow on twitter, and it is really sick how much happier and less angry this has made me. I do not think I understood before what people meant when they talk about constant negativity being "toxic."

Today, I am working on applying to the cool job.

Yesterday I read Henry and Glenn Forever and was weirdly touched by it. There is something about big scary dudes showing their sweet and vulnerable side that always makes me feel great about humanity.

[AugustWest]

Go work on "giving a fuck" less.

This, this, a thousand times THIS!

A) it was probably initially just some offhand comment that they didn't take very seriously to begin with; and
2) Now they're just using it to fuck with you a little bit; and
iii. Who gives a fuck what they think anyhow?; not to mention the fact that
a. German does sound angry. 

[jay-ell]

Today I sent my kid to school in Grinch face paint...only to realize mid-afternoon that I misread the calendar, and "grinch day" is tomorrow.

*epic facepalm*

Well, I guess he gets to go grinch twice instead of once...he didn't seem traumatized about it and I didn't get any snarky notes home from his teacher, so I guess it's OK. But dang, do I feel like the kind of person who does not have her shit together right now.

[wombat]

One of my friends did this just lately on some other kind of dressup day. I wish I could remember what it was, it was funny. But don't worry, apparently this is a normal thing for a parent to do.

[littlefallsmets]

http://youtu.be/M6mndRtsS88

[jay-ell]

One of my friends did this just lately on some other kind of dressup day. I wish I could remember what it was, it was funny. But don't worry, apparently this is a normal thing for a parent to do.

That is actually really reassuring. Thanks.

It didn't help that it's also spirit week at Chaos Girl's school, which I forgot about yesterday (sports day, nbd). So I sent one of my kids to school in pajamas and a bathrobe and the other dressed like a grinch. It's been a weird week.

I will be SO GLAD when these kids can finally go to the same school. I would love to only have one school calendar to keep track of. I know I've griped about this before, but she's staring Kindergarten in eight months, so now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I cannot WAIT for it to arrive.