Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood There are only five Wodehouse books on my special Wodehouse shelf?! As Jeeves himself might ask, "Where in the fuck are the rest of them."

Pages: 1 ... 853 854 [855] 856 857 ... 878   Go Down

Author Topic: Today I'm gonna...  (Read 1343491 times)

0 Members and 201 Guests are viewing this topic.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12810 on: April 12, 2013, 07:21:20 pm »

Yarr.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

doomglobe

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 35
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 410
    • View Profile
    • doom globe
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12811 on: April 12, 2013, 08:21:11 pm »

Logged
[expletive deleted]

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5056
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12812 on: April 12, 2013, 09:11:52 pm »

TIG wake up and see my finished home theater. 80 inches of beauty and a 7.1 system.
This makes me think that gnomes installed it while you were sleeping. Technognomes.
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12813 on: April 14, 2013, 08:12:56 am »

Did that fun thing where I was falling asleep, and then bolted upright in bed realizing I never bought my ticket to go home for my sister's graduation. I get to spend a few hours on my birthday sitting in the airport of the worst city on God's green earth. (for those playing along at home, Chicago).

(I'm sure Chicago is fine if you aren't me, objectively it seems like a place where humans can find happiness.)

I have a fantasy for my future life where one day years from now I am a happy man with a family, and we go to Chicago, and I say "huh, why did I dislike this place so much?"

Until then I'll keep putting ketchup on my hot dogs and grinning about it.

Turning 25 does not feel like a big milestone, but my little sister going to college is nuts. When I moved out here she was 10 years old. Now she's a grown up lady who gets into fancy colleges and wins fancy poetry awards. I am having trouble not bragging about her.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2013, 08:17:54 am by theinevitable »
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12814 on: April 14, 2013, 09:50:57 am »

Until then I'll keep putting ketchup on my hot dogs and grinning about it.

Is this your secret joke on Chicago?
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12815 on: April 14, 2013, 05:32:05 pm »

TIG make a quiche where five out of six eggs have twin yolks! 
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12816 on: April 14, 2013, 05:43:10 pm »

Is this your secret joke on Chicago?

Yes. Every time I can hear millions of voices scream out in anger.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12817 on: April 14, 2013, 05:46:41 pm »

TIG make a quiche where five out of six eggs have twin yolks! 

I hope for your sake that's not a cosmic sign.
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12818 on: April 14, 2013, 08:10:10 pm »

Yes. Every time I can hear millions of voices scream out in anger.

That's worthy of a can. Enjoy it with a hotdog laced with ketchup.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12819 on: April 14, 2013, 09:48:29 pm »

I hope for your sake that's not a cosmic sign.

Thankfully no.  We have fetal assessment ultra sounds every other week and check the fetal heart rate every week.  There is no other little one hiding in there, and if there was, by now we'd know.

The first one I cracked, I was taken aback, as I'd never seen a double yolk, but then the next four were the same.  They are a type of local free-range organic eggs with chickens given special omega feed that I've never bought before, so maybe that's why?  I imagine the first five could have been from the same chicken, while the other one (the only brown one) was from another hen? 
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12820 on: April 14, 2013, 09:50:23 pm »

That's worthy of a can. Enjoy it with a hotdog laced with ketchup.

I think we have a thread about what should go on a hot dog. Some of us have strong opinions on the subject if I recall correctly.

the worst city on God's green earth. (for those playing along at home, Chicago).

Apparently you've never been to Phoenix.
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

doomglobe

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 35
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 410
    • View Profile
    • doom globe
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12821 on: April 15, 2013, 02:18:13 am »

Today my ex girlfriend showed up to get her stuff. I was in the middle of doing my taxes on the laptop she had loaned me, and my entire apartment was in disarray. Camping/climbing shit and dirty clothes on the floor, dirty pots in the sink, my taxes and accompanying pile of paperwork I had been meaning to sort for over a year surrounding my couch as the fuck*ng puppet musical episode of community blasted just loud enough to keep me from thinking too hard about the fact that I was filing taxes, bottle of Rojo and 1.5 lb block of chocolate adorning the coffee table. She gave me this look. The kind of pity you never want to observe from another human being; the kind of pity that means you have failed absolutely to impress that person at all with the entire measure of your being. I know it is probably inevitable, but I'd like to never see or hear from her again. I nearly abandoned my taxes to ensure that I wouldn't have to see her when giving her back the laptop. I nearly died a second irs death to avoid that look. But fuck it, I'll just drop it off on her back porch on a nice day and text her after the fact.

Now I have to spend the rest of the night alone with the million perfect things I could have said bouncing around in my head. Fuck that noise.
Logged
[expletive deleted]

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12822 on: April 15, 2013, 02:47:35 am »

Sorry dude. That is the absolute worst. Good luck with the tax junk.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

doomglobe

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 35
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 410
    • View Profile
    • doom globe
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12823 on: April 15, 2013, 05:07:05 am »

fuck her if she wants to shit on it.

GOOD POINT!

I gotta get back to being a 'proud animal' again so I can get hurt by some other woman. As soon as I'm done with my taxes and a nights sleep I'm getting a ridiculously good haircut and wearing false scents until I wake up in the wrong bed altogether.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2013, 05:12:22 am by doomglobe »
Logged
[expletive deleted]

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Today I'm gonna...
« Reply #12824 on: April 15, 2013, 05:41:32 am »

there are two situations possible here:

1. her judgment hurt because it reflected a judgment you have also made of yourself
2. her judgment hurt because she used to be a lady you cared about a lot, but it does not reflect your judgment of yourself.

in the first instance, you can do stuff about these judgments you have of your situation
in the second, who cares what she thinks

in both: who cares what she thinks, fuck that broad.

I am trying to practice an exercise in happiness. this is where my high school teachers will ask me what I'm up to in life, and I will tell them I'm working at a grocery store with a shit-eating grin, without feeling the need to hem and haw about "oh I'm probably applying to grad school and and and."
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
Pages: 1 ... 853 854 [855] 856 857 ... 878   Go Up