This is an interesting topic, because I have ADHD (inattentive subtype) and my sister is hyper-organized and very anal about it, and she's constantly harping on me about ways I could and should be more organized and all that stuff. It's caused some friction between us and I've finally convinced her that where she feels she is caring about me and helping me, to me it's her telling me I suck and need to be fixed to be more like her.
This is me with my roommate, except that he is only anal-organized about school stuff. I found out over break that my suspicion is correct, and he does in fact talk shit about me to all of my friends, "DB is so lazy, DB sleeps too much, DB doesn't do his work." He does all his work in advance, sleeps like 5 hrs a night, writes fiction in his free time, etc.
Does he do dishes, or clean the house, or even fold his laundry? No. He basically lives like an animal.
An animal that works really hard and gets a lot done.
It is hard sometimes to get a reasonable perspective on this. I mean, I feel really lazy sitting next to my roommate. But he works stupidly hard, and is miserable because of it. He is a grumpy, irritable, aggressive person who needs to drink less coffee and get more sleep. Also, stop being incredible pretentious. As it is, he does not get why girls do not want to date him.
I told my girlfriend, who is also super-productive and responsible, that he does this (talk about me) and she said "fuck him, I love you." Which was nice. She does not pester me about things, but it makes me feel really shitty when I realize how many things she is juggling, when I am having trouble doing "school + girlfriend + radio." And before that, I was struggling with just "school + radio." She is more like "school + radio + work + boyfriend + awesome."
I am incredibly unorganized. In school up through partway into high school this was fine, and I did great. College has kind of been a wash. Every semester I say "ok, this is my semester, I am going to challenge myself and work really hard." And then it doesn't happen. Last semester was supposed to be my "easy" semester and I got my worst grades ever. Classes I thought I could put on the back burner came back to bite me in the ass. The classes that should have been hard are the ones I did well in, because I realized there was a lot of work and so I kept it in mind. It also helped that JL edited that paper for me (thanks! I did not get notes back on the final draft, but I think I must have done very well based on my final grade). I am really horrible at using my time in productive ways. The thought of making my time more structured and organized makes me want to die, because... yeah, basically it sounds like hell. There were a few months last year where I got my shit in gear, worked really hard, partied hard on the weekend to blow off steam, and was starting to get into a rhythm... and then something happened, I forget what, and I completely fucked up the end of the semester.
I am into making lists and putting them on post-its... but this thing happens where I'll be sitting there, and suddenly I realize this neon orange post-it is still on my wall from 2 months before.
I am diagnosed as ADD, but I have no idea of what is the ADD and what is just laziness and lack of willpower, etc. I know this is a false distinction, but I can't stop thinking in this way. I am supposed to take medicine, but I am horrible about remembering to take it. I also am not sure how much of a difference it makes at this point... it's hard to tell without taking it consistently.
I have noticed, though, that when I take it I notice things that I have never noticed. For instance, I notice the bright orange post-its that have been on my wall for months.
I am confused because I am told I was diagnosed with "minor" ADD, but I have also been told stories about my mother getting into huge arguments because they didn't want to let me into my (elementary/middle/high) school because I had too many learning issues. I also have, apparently, a really high IQ, but I do not really buy the idea of IQ.
So now I'm looking for a job. Yeeesh.
I try to think a lot about this thing a DJ I like said (Tom Sharpling, on WFMU)... it is not eloquent, but it is true. He was responding to Kanye explaining the Taylor Swift thing with all this bull about "you know, i've had a hard life, i worked hard to get where I am, blah blah blah."
He was like. "Shut up. Shut up. Everything is hard. No one has ever done anything that wasn't hard. Everything has always been hard, for everyone."
I get into a pattern and chug along fuck*ng up for a while, and then I wake up at night and realize that I am doing a horrible job at everything. Like, I cannot think of an area of my life where I would say I am doing my best. Maybe with "being a good boyfriend" stuff.
When I worked at a burrito place a few years ago my boss said once that I was a "hard worker," and I realized I had literally never heard someone say that to me in my life.
It is going to suck in a few years when I decide I want to apply to grad school, and I do not get into grad school. Blargh.
Oh, and for the record, my mom just tells me I need to "work harder." Whatever that means.
I get this too. But I have less of a retort than you do. I do not see, based on your described lifestyle, how you could "work harder."
My friend, who has similar issues as I do, was once describing to me an argument he had with his mom. This quickly turned into us screaming at each other.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO YOUR WORK, DANIEL
WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEING ORGANIZED, JACK
HAVE YOU TRIED JUST DOING YOUR WORK, JACK?
etc. It was kind of nice to know that other people get given advice which does nothing except make you angry. "Oh, thanks mom. I'll just work harder. I hadn't thought of trying that."
I also like his rule, "When something comes in that will take you two minutes or less to do, do it NOW." That's the point where it's diminishing returns on flagging it and coming back to it later. If you can bang out a reply to that e-mail in 45 seconds, just frickin' do it. Wish more people did this.
This is a big thing for me. I always think that everything will take a really long time. When I realize that things will not take that long and do them, it is such a good feeling. I think the solution is that when I list things, I should estimate how long they will take. YEAH.