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[Bobby Isosceles]

After reading this link, I was convinced that I had found the worst writing on the Intertubes. What I found was not what I had expected.

The bad news is that this is absolutely intentional. A short perusal of the author's page showed that he had churned out roughly one of these "stories" a day since the New Year, and that the misspellings were too varied to be accidental, and that occasionally he or she would slip out of character and use a term that he or she should not have known.

The good, nay, GREAT news is that this person has executed a nearly flawless parody/pastiche of bad fanfic. It is a reminder why fanfic is kind of dumb to begin with and how bad writing, especially bad fanfic, is absolutely the worst writing out there.

Without further ado, I present you with: Batman in the Bowels of Hell. If you can make it through this piece without laughing out loud hysterically, you have problems. If you can make it through this piece without laughing out loud at all, please see a doctor as you may in fact be dead.

And if you wipe the tears out of your eyes, I would also suggest these two pieces, the former of which has the greatest last paragraph of any writing ever, and the latter includes this line:

As Logan went with the fuck*ng, he bited another piece of chicken with his bare teeth. It was so delicious he even forgot Jean was kneeling on the ground pleasuring his animal side. That was a nice piece of chicken for sure, even if it was cold and a bit rotten, 'cause that shack haven't been used for a long time. Who lived there Logan asked for himself. Who knows, but the chair was made with mohagany. Actually, it was a bit strange a shack in the middle of a park.

This is, hands down, a work of ART. Whomever this is has made a magnum opus of comic genius, and the purest essence of LOL. I have subscribed to his or her RSS feed with the hope that each successive work can be better than the last.

[Doc]

I wish batman would did orgie to me.

[greenkoolayd]

I wish batman would did orgie to me.

[Drygioni]

Fantasitc stuff.

You ocne hada go at me for writing someAChewood fanfic twas 4 the lulz?

[Drygioni]

Joker c*ck got vvery big. 30 inches and ahalf, full of veins and no hair, just like the likes of Batgirl. Her nipples got very hard and when Joker toched them, milk started to flow.

“You're lactating Batgirl!!!! You're pregnant!!!”!

“Yes, but not with a baby. It's lust!!!”

Joker liked and pressed the nipples. A lot milky got out and Joker opened the mouth of his and started to drink.

“You milk is bittersweet!!!!”

“Sorry, I'm menstruating...”

Joker them went to the bloody pussy. It was full of worms and bacteria, because batgirl turned hippie, and got no bath the past three weeks. It was full of granola, because it was healthy. Joker went with his mouth to pussy and starteds to eat the granola. It wa a bit rotten, but got a fine flavor of womans sweat with fly's egg.

Batgirl picked yogurt nerby and poured on her belly, and it got on her pussy too. Joker chocked. The yogurt entered his nostrils.

“You bitch Batgirl!!!!”

“Fuck you Joker!!!”

She them spread the yougurt for all her body, to the arms and the the armpits. Joker the went to the armpits and started to lick them, felling the yogurt flavor and a tuft of hair Batgirl never shaved since her debut ball. Incredibly, her armhole was very clean, well, comparing to the rest of her body, bewcause it was full of barnacles and crawlers. Joker liked. He was living on barnacles at Arkan last year. The food was very bad.

”Joker, stop with the preliminary, got to the full frontal fuck!!!!!” shouted Batgirl. She was aroused. Joker them put his thirty inched dong inside batgirl and started the thrusting. It was very slow, because it was very heavy. Joker had problems when he was a kid. When he played soccer with the other kids, his dong shaked and trembled franticaly. It was an almost separareted entity, living on his own conduct, getting hard when Joker was less than pensive. “Shttiy dong!!!” he always thought. When he was the goalkepper everyone aimed to the dong and blam, semen exploded from his member all over the field. Those kids really liked a snow feast every now and then.

“Joker, go faster, I fell like a slug is in my pussy. It doesn't even tickle!!” Joker god mad and tripled his sppeed. Bagirl them moaned like a koala, moving her legs like a kangaroo jumping in the hot desert plains of Austria.

“OHHHH JOKER, YOU ARE GOOD!!!!!!” moaned higher batgirl, as the menstruation blood got forced from her pu$$y. The blood got all over Joker's face and he licked it, even with the cannelures and sea sponges.

“Don't stop, don't sopt!!!!”

“I never will my love!!!!”

Joker recline himself over Batgirl to kiss her. But she refuse:

“Look you mouth you shit!!! It's full of blood and shit over it, wake up and smell the coffee!!!”

best ever

[jay-ell]

Awww, dude, you had to go and bring that IN here?

[greenkoolayd]

[[dryheave]]

[smick]

...because Batgirl turned hippie.

Certainly.

[Drygioni]

What I did just then was the equivalent of the time my mate was showing people Meatspin in an IT lesson. It was there on his PC, but it wasn't out in the public domain as such, only those wanting to see what the fuss was about would take a cursory glance before retreating either screaming or giggling.

That is like when we only had the link in this thread.

He then went on the teacher's PC while said teacher was out for a smoke and put Meatspin on the wall-size projector. Suddenly all-consuming unavoidable c*ck malarkey was all about and very unwelcome.

That is like when I posted the text from the link in this thread.

Sorry.

[theinevitable]

it is so much easier to not-read text than it is to not-stare at... a man being penetrated anally while his c*ck flops around in a circular motion, to the strains of "you spin me right round, baby, right round." though.

[Drygioni]

it is so much easier to not-read text than it is to not-stare at... a man being penetrated anally while his c*ck flops around in a circular motion, to the strains of "you spin me right round, baby, right round." though.

I have to disagree.

Once you read the first line of that text it undeniably sucks you in. It is designed to keep you reading despite the horrors your mind manufactures.

Meatspin is definitely a 'is that.. christing fuck it is SKIDMORE YOU ARE SUCH A PRICK' -look away until the 30ft c*ck is gone- thingmabob.

It's like a nuclear bomb vs living next to a radiation dump

Christ my metaphors are fuck*ng OFF today

[Bobby Isosceles]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5667740/1/Batman_and_Robocop_The_Day_the_Men_Found_Love


GENIUS

this man is GENIUS

Batman looked down, thought a bit, and understood:

“You, shit hippie, told me that you taught them the hippie away of life, didn't you?”

“Yes”

“This is elementary my dear smelly, disease laden, inintelligent animal's friend. The hippie way of life means peace, love and and a meat-free regimen. These zombies only eat vegetables.”

The hippie understood, looked down, clenched his hands, looked up and uttered:

“NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

“And there's more. My friend here only eats car-oil, I eat bats and rats. But you three, I believe, are full of delicious fruits, green plants and muesli inside your stomachs.”

The three hippies looked one another in horror. The zombies looked one another in joy. Now they're going to eat good and healthy food. The undead started to move in the hippies direction. They were encircled and couldn't escape. Oliver was the first, ripping the lead hippie belly and opening it's stomach with his own nails. The hippie bowels fell on the ground, and it was stuffed with delicious grass. But the zombies didn't want to eat, because there's blood.

“Don't be afraid zombies”, said Robocop, “Their blood is full of vitamin and minerals. The iron is good for your heart.”

The zombies smilled and started to eat the three hippies alive, drinking all of their blood, eating the bones and licking the skin. They only left intact the meat, because it is sin.

[Toaster]

*stands up*    *looks around*

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

[pmcd9]

So what is the joke here, that they can write fan fiction that is bad as fan fiction?

[Bobby Isosceles]

So what is the joke here, that they can write fan fiction that is bad as fan fiction?

That they can write a venomous pastiche of bad fan fiction that is spot-on, with a few inside jokes to those who know this is the next Andy Kaufman. Basically, like Onstadt's latest strip about Facebook and Twitter.