I went to see an acquaintances' band tonight, and instead I had my mind blown slash raped.
Two of my best friends are brothers in a band together. The band used to have a lot of promise, but honestly they have completely stalled. We saw the acquaintances' band play we and went to another bar, Tuesday night, bit after midnight. The older brother who was the most recent addition to band was annoyed that he found out that the band wanted to re-record something without much consultation with him. The dude said to his younger brother, the founder of the band, in complete anger and totally out of character, "FUCK this band," and walked through the bathroom door we were all standing right next to. He is a sometimes a hothead and he slammed the bathroom door with probably 30% of his strength. An 18 by 18 inch picture frame of the t-shirts the bar sells fell off the shelf above the bathroom door, it free fell, spinning, about six feet towards the earth's gravitational pull, and the corner of the metal picture frame spiked the younger brother, the band founder, right in the top of the head, rebounded off some dude's chest and the glass shattered into a hundred pieces right at my feet.
I looked at the younger brother, the man who is basically my kindred spirit (we share a birthday 366 days apart), and I wondered what hurt him more, his brother's (possibly my oldest friend) comment, or the moderate concussion he just received. Within five seconds every pore in his face was pouring sweat and I wasn't sure exactly which reason was the cause. I stood there with a half drank bottle of Bud in hand, sober, with absolutely no clue how to react, jaw dropped in the stark display of reality the universe had bestowed upon me.
"Fuck your band," was not so hurtful enough that the brother had endure a falling picture frame corner to the top of the head. For minutes, you could see in his eyes that he had no idea what had happened, on any level. I witnessed the frankest display of shock and uncertainty that I could have imagined.
I had a conversation with a horribly unlucky friend in Atlantic City city two months ago. I said, "you have to look at it this way... it would be less surprising - more probable - that the same bet pays off a million times in a row than the fact that we simply exist, right now, right here. It's so improbable that we can simply converse like this, that there is no stroke of luck that cannot possibly be made apparent in your life. Magic may very well exist, there is no streak of probability than can surprise me any longer."
Take this as the ramblings of a drunkard if you will, but keep in mind, that I have a degree in medical science as a doctor. I'm a fuck*ng doctor, and I've observed in great detail exactly what makes life what it is.
Tonight I am convinced. Simply existing is the peak of improbability. No coincidence the universe throws at me can possibly surprise me anymore. As Louis C.K. said a few weeks ago, "I've seen too much."
Thanks for reading my night's recap. After about fifteen minutes of tension outside the bar, I broke the heft of the night's occurrences with a laugh, and to tie in an actual Achewood reference, the three of us ate 4:30 am dinner at Uncle George's Greek Taverna. I had lemon sole, side of cold garlic mashed potato, but we had all overfilled on Italian bread with a generous side of tzatziki for dipping.