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@achewood I had to look up how pi is derived. It has been sixteen years since the SAT, yet still, I feel very ashamed

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Author Topic: Shit my ________ says  (Read 283915 times)

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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #255 on: December 26, 2010, 03:45:16 pm »

Sometimes a dog is just a dog.
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greenkoolayd

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #256 on: December 26, 2010, 06:19:54 pm »

dogs provide clean up if you drop something tasty on the floor by accident or on purpose.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #257 on: December 26, 2010, 11:15:26 pm »

dogs provide clean up if you drop something tasty on the floor by accident or on purpose.

Dogs pretty much love you unless you do something really, really shitty. And you usually have to do it a lot. So the other side of this dynamic lines up pretty well with republicans, anyway.
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side_show

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #258 on: December 27, 2010, 02:55:02 pm »

I know it's moot, but all I was thinking when reading that, before getting to the Democrat whammy, is that really, dogs do have several responsibilities.  Dogs have to be loyal and well behaved.  We expect them to not bite, shit or piss in our homes.  We expect them to be quiet.  We ask them to do tasks like provide security or carry things.  My dog is a lot less parasitic than my cats.  Seriously.  If someone wants to write an example of a creature that gets away with everything and brings little to the table, cats make a better point.  D-.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2010, 04:11:04 pm by side_show »
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wombat

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #259 on: December 27, 2010, 03:20:21 pm »

Youall are right. That is not even a good analogy, on so many levels.

I am capable of being amused by someone who is cleverly insulting my own political leanings. What's depressing about that is not so much that it's wrong, it's that it's not even remotely amusing about it.
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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #260 on: December 28, 2010, 06:06:22 pm »

Well, this is a juicy one...

Quote
Senator Alan Simpson Calls Seniors 'Greediest Generation'..

This person is PISSED!!!!  Wish I were the one that sent this to the beloved Senator!!!!  There isn't a word that is false and I am believing that many Americans are beginning to think along these same lines......
         
 From a man in Montana....who - like the rest of us - has just about had enough

 Hey Alan,

Let’s get a few things straight…

1.      As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS…
2.      I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63)…
3.      My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud…
4.      Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN…
5.      I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills…
6.      I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay of YOUR debt…

To add insult to injury, you label us “greedy” for calling “bullshit” on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU…

1.      How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?
2.      At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?
3.      How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?
4.      What cuts in YOUR retirement and health care benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are “greedy”. It is you and they who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That’s right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers.. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch.

Always say what you mean  ! !
always mean what you say  ! !
NEVER    COMPROMISE .........
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AugustWest

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #261 on: December 28, 2010, 06:19:26 pm »

Damn that Alan Simpson!  It's all his fault!

You know what I love?  The writer rails on and on about overspending, but dollars to donuts they supported the Iraq war.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #262 on: December 28, 2010, 06:48:51 pm »

Fuckers giving OUR social security to a bunch of zero-ambition losers.
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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #263 on: December 29, 2010, 12:47:29 am »

The never compromise at the end makes me want to read it in Rorschach's voice.

Also, why is the framing device for these letters always 'Look what this other guy wrote'? Why not 'Look at the letter I sent that asshole senator!'
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #264 on: December 29, 2010, 01:21:12 am »

Fuckers giving OUR social security to a bunch of zero-ambition losers.

This guy lacks any kind of fundamental understanding how social security works. Social security payments are a pyramid scheme, not some kind of fuck*ng 401k. My social security payments today pay the social security checks to my grandparents. Yes, my grandparents, who rail against big government all day long but live but collect social security, use VA Healthcare and Medicare. They don't get by without their grandkids paying taxes. The first generation to receive social security hit the lottery and we've all been paying for it ever since. Another ill informed angry e-mail chain letter from a disconnected old person.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #265 on: December 29, 2010, 02:52:05 am »

I would say there's every chance this is something dreamed up by an operative to actually stir up angry oldsters.
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #266 on: December 29, 2010, 03:22:26 am »

You're right, that would make a lot of sense.
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Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

side_show

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #267 on: December 30, 2010, 06:19:27 pm »

I just got this email which was forwarded to about 400 staff in child protection services.  I Snopesed it then called the local police department mentioned to verify it as false before issuing a agency wide retraction 

I’m sure you’ve all seen this one or one like it before.  This one's been circulating for years, and I' previously saw a version of it that didn't include local details.

My question is, who is the douche who gets the original email, then “helpfully” changes the details so it has a local flavour?  And what possesses them to do so?  Who ever it was in this case used the correct phone number for the local police professional standards unit, but used and address of an office building that they aren’t located in.


Quote
This was passed on to me by a friends who is a lawyer, so I believe it is a useful alert.  - John

Warning from the Winnipeg Police:

On a Friday night some people parked in a public parking lot. As they drove away they noticed a sticker on the rear window of their car. When they took
it off after they got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily their friend had told them earlier not to stop as it could be someone waiting for them to
get out of the car.

This warning was recently aired by the Winnipeg City Police on a CJOB Talk Show.

WARNING FROM CITY POLICE .... BEWARE OF A PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE .... IT'S A NEW WAY OF CARJACKING. (NOT A JOKE)

Heads up everyone .... Husbands, wives, kids, everyone!!! Please, keep this circulating ... You walk across the parking lot unlock your car and get
inside. You start the engine and shift into reverse. When you look into the rear view mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your
car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now that the carjacker(s) have your car, your home address, your money, and your keys, your home and your whole identity are now compromised!  BEWARE OF THIS

NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED!

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window lock your doors and just drive away. Remove the paper later and be thankful that you read this e-mail.

I hope you will forward it to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

Be safe!

Jennifer Dutchyshen S849
Winnipeg Police Service
Professional Standards Unit
10th flr - 457 Main Street
986-6079



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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #268 on: December 30, 2010, 06:58:02 pm »

I've seen variations on that.  Lots of email warnings against stuff that either never happened or didn't happen in any way like it's being described. 
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jay-ell

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #269 on: December 30, 2010, 11:21:25 pm »

Was it a vacuum?

Somewhat late to the party, here, but one year (before I was part of the family), my father-in-law apparently gave my mother-in-law a mop and some buckets. She wept.

My family's worst story was about the time when my parents were newlyweds and my mom subtly hinted that she'd like "something nice to wear to bed" for Christmas. My dad got her one-piece pink flannel pajamas, complete with feet and a butt-flap. I'm pretty sure she still has them. 
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