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What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit? - Nabu

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Author Topic: Shit my ________ says  (Read 282389 times)

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jay-ell

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1455 on: April 02, 2013, 09:45:36 pm »

What, do you open your gun case one morning and just find a litter of pistols?
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AugustWest

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1456 on: April 03, 2013, 01:00:14 am »

Thanks Little League guys. I really needed that April Fool allegory you went for there.

Say...

I don't think they're really talking about kids baseball.
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jay-ell

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1457 on: April 03, 2013, 08:19:21 pm »

Quote from: My Spouse

I don't think you're calculating your monthly cycles right. Instead of counting from the day you start bleeding, you should count from the day we start fighting.

Here's a man who will take his life in his hands for a good (or mediocre) joke. If y'all see me on America's Most Wanted, guys, you know why.

(I'm posting this in the public section so he has a chance to defend himself, if such a thing is possible.)
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side_show

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1458 on: April 03, 2013, 09:31:14 pm »

Shit the owner of the neighbourhood burger joint I frequented says (in the paper today):

Quote
George Ifantis, who runs George's Burgers & Subs in town, said he has nothing against the Pots N Hands owners, but understands that some customers might be uncomfortable with the men's sexuality.

"A lot of people don't like it," said Ifantis. "You don't know what they're doing in the kitchen."

He just lost a customer.  Not just because he is clearly an idiot, but more because if he thinks gay men have sex in their restaurant's kitchens, does that mean he and his wife are having hetero sex in their restaurant's kitchen?  Sorry, but I've now thought of your food coming in contact with jizz and pu$$y secretions.

For the record, the other restaurant he is referencing is one located in a small town, and the owners have decided to close the business due to all the slurs and threats they've been confronted with.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2013, 12:05:17 am by side_show »
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1459 on: April 06, 2013, 05:42:39 am »

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Doc

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1460 on: April 06, 2013, 10:51:47 am »

Wait, so is he pissed off or pleased with Paul right now?
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1461 on: April 06, 2013, 05:33:24 pm »

Wait, so is he pissed off or pleased with Paul right now?

Ha ha... Hmm... good question.
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Doc

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1462 on: April 07, 2013, 04:28:59 am »

Love the copyright.
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1463 on: April 08, 2013, 03:31:15 am »



I first heard about this a couple of months ago and it sounds like a totally gross thing to do. It also tingles my bullshit meter pretty strongly.

First question, is that a spoonful of plaque? Second, is this as fake as it appears to me?
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Victoria Waterfield

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1464 on: April 08, 2013, 03:44:30 am »



I first heard about this a couple of months ago and it sounds like a totally gross thing to do. It also tingles my bullshit meter pretty strongly.

First question, is that a spoonful of plaque? Second, is this as fake as it appears to me?

If you can think of a better way to get more EFAs, I'd like to hear it.
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jaydub

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1465 on: April 08, 2013, 03:58:37 am »

Not really sure what the spoon is supposed to be showing, but the practice looks like grade A hoss feathers.  Probably nothing wrong with it, although I'm sure there are some shysters out there hawking their double extracted certified aryuvedic yak oil for optimal results.  The hidden cost of stuff like this is the erosion of critical thinking in the public (there is a cause:effect problem here that I'm grappling with) - when someone tries it because it might work, and through chance, selection bias, and the quirks of human memory it seems to work - then they slip into the conspiracy theory fantasy that "alternative medicine" types are promoting.

Brushing ones teeth to improve dental hygiene works for a couple reasons.  Mechanical removal of plaque, the soap effect of some of the ingredients of tooth paste, removal of trace carbohydrates (sugars and starches) that oral bacteria can feed on, and strengthening of the connective tissue in the gums around your teeth (again, largely a mechanical effect).  Swishing oil in your mouth doesn't do any of those things.  There is a logical fallacy in the argument as well, a variation on the appeal to authority sometimes called the appeal to antiquity.  Just because something has been around a long time is not evidence of it working; it is evidence of pre-scientific magical thinking and a lack of immediate lethality.
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pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1466 on: April 08, 2013, 06:57:57 pm »



Quote
WAL-MART VS. THE MORONS (NOT A JOKE)

I know lots of folks don't like Wal-Mart, but this is fascinating.

This is spot-on.

PLEASE, READ THIS TO THE END. IT IS VERY INTERESTING!!!

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March
17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco

K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private
employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and
keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought
bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are
Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur
at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground
work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart
to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans… Democrats,
Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,
it is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

a. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234
years to get it right and it is broke.

b. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to
get it right and it is broke.

c. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get
it right and it is broke.

d. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it
right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to
"the poor" and they only want more.

e. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44
years to get it right and they are broke.

f. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get
it right and it is broke.

g. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our
dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of
$24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get
it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our
throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED
WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??

Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end
up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' (they never read anything)
and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

AND

I know what's wrong. We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please tell me what is wrong with all the people that
run this country!!!!!!

We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless
etc. and the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey and now
Pakistan ( the previous home of bin Laden). literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do
they get any breaks.

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children
going to bed hungry, elderly going without needed medicines, and mentally ill
without treatment, etc.

Imagine if the GOVERNMENT gave U. S. the same support they give to
other countries. Sad isn't it?

*99% of the people receiving this message won't have the guts to forward this.

*I'm one of the 1% -- I Just Did
BEING UNITED SAVES AMERICA!
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jaydub

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1467 on: April 08, 2013, 07:39:33 pm »

Goddam those last two sentences are pretty enough to kiss on the mouth.

I'm spending way too much time inside my head these days.
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jay-ell

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1468 on: April 08, 2013, 08:48:37 pm »



I first heard about this a couple of months ago and it sounds like a totally gross thing to do. It also tingles my bullshit meter pretty strongly.

First question, is that a spoonful of plaque? Second, is this as fake as it appears to me?

That is coconut oil, which is a solid at room temperature but melts at about 80F.
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jaydub

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1469 on: April 08, 2013, 09:54:00 pm »

If you can think of a better way to get more EFAs, I'd like to hear it.
Swishing it around in your mouth and spitting it out doesn't sound like a terribly effective way to get essential fatty acids.  Popping a giraffe oil cap (or, heaven forbid) eating giraffe would do it nicely.  Or maybe I'm missing a sarcastic tone from Victoria.
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