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Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking" pizza places before.

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Author Topic: Shit my ________ says  (Read 283000 times)

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theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1935 on: December 09, 2014, 08:26:57 pm »
I think this was right before I joined.
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Social pressures exist
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jaydub

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1936 on: December 09, 2014, 09:28:54 pm »
New to me too, but I do feel like my life has been enriched by that photo.
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theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1937 on: December 15, 2014, 05:58:15 am »
So Norcal She Almost Died: my not-actually-related-but-we-call-her-Aunt lives in the Bay Area and has gone full Organic Holistic Fruity. Her latest escapade is that she found this special tea she really liked. Supposed to be cleansing, natural energy, all that stuff, cooked up by some neighborhood Healer. This is all a spoiler, too much foreshadowing... but anyway, she started being in weird pain. Random ailments, woken up in the middle of the night by flashes of pain across her body, headaches, nausea, etc. Doctors could not figure out what was wrong. Just goes to show that Modern Medicine is all quakery, right? They couldn't even figure out what this debilitating condition was... until...

It turns out you should not drink more than one cup a day of tea that includes NIGHTSHADE LEAVES and maybe there is a reason you are supposed to go to a special school before dispensing psychoactive chemicals to the public.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1938 on: December 15, 2014, 08:43:52 am »
Shit Dutch People say.

Some really productive swearing going on over there. They are apparently really into using diseases to insult people (go get cancer!) and also have separate vocab for the animal version of body parts, so you can say "he's got a big (animal) head" or "wow she's got some (animal) legs on her." The Dutch version of "cracker" is "cheesehead" which seems fitting.

The one that made me laugh very very hard was Beftekkel (literally: "cunnilingus dachshund").

The main thing this article made me imagine is trying to be cool and cuss in dutch and actually saying a really bad one. I don't think I will be telling anyone to go rot with cancer.

I also like to imagine them calling each other "poopsie." affectionate terms are weird in every language.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1939 on: December 15, 2014, 02:26:39 pm »
INEV!!! My man, what is up with the Semper Augustus all up in your avatar? I have been harvesting those tulips for the past five years. Its a weird virus that is really hard to cultivate, but the ROI is on net positive.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1940 on: December 15, 2014, 05:13:07 pm »
Learning about Dutch things and learning about economics = thinking the tulip-mania is pretty interesting. Also it's a pretty flower.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

wombat

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1941 on: December 15, 2014, 06:28:47 pm »
Acap you have to be kidding about being in the tulip business?? Is that even a thing in the 21st century?
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theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1942 on: December 15, 2014, 06:51:01 pm »
For those not in the know, the Tulip Mania was a 17th century thing where Dutch people went nuts for Tulips. Prices rose astronomically for individual bulbs. The Semper Augustus bulb was infamously traded for 12 acres of land. This was also the era when the Dutch were inventing lots of financial instruments, so people were bidding against each other on future earnings of bulbs, short-selling, etc. Then it all collapsed.

Ik hoop dat jouw tulipen krijgen geen virus, spin-kapitalist. (I hope your tulips get no virus, spider-kapitalist) (or, you know, get the virus that makes them pretty, but also thrive)
« Last Edit: December 15, 2014, 09:25:58 pm by theinevitable »
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1943 on: December 16, 2014, 03:16:38 am »
Quote from: wombat on December 15, 2014, 06:28:47 pm
Acap you have to be kidding about being in the tulip business?? Is that even a thing in the 21st century?
I wish I were kidding you. I  grow bizarre tulips and orchids as a hobby.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1944 on: December 16, 2014, 04:38:00 am »
There is something weird going on. Is this a dream? One guy from my program just went on a long thing about how handsome I look in a facebook picture from three years ago. Then, just now, another guy just walked into the lab, gave me a hug, told me "you're doing it right dude" and then left. Am I going to find out in a few minutes that my house burnt down or something?

Yeah, the other thing that happened tonight is that I drank a bunch of beers in the computer lab, and flirted with a girl who chipped her tooth (which I am super into, for some reason). Definitely a dream.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2014, 04:42:27 am by theinevitable »
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1945 on: December 16, 2014, 04:27:50 pm »
Yeah I feel like that is a new york academic thing. I was surrounded by every kind of sexual orientation at N.Y.U. The library/student union even built a third bathroom for people who were confused. (These bathrooms also had footbaths for Muslim students to prepare themselves for prayer). This meant some risky business scenarios where even I did not know the particular inclinations or genders of my lab partners. I had to enlist a decidedly female cohort to help me navigate who was what and interpret the actions of those who chose to interact with me. Then Halloween in the village would happen and we were quickly out of our depths.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1946 on: December 16, 2014, 07:11:44 pm »
I think that this is hug-guy's game. He acts like a dick in general, but then does weird stuff like this. And then when people say "he's a dick!" there are always a few people there who will defend him and say he's a nice dude, but maybe be embarrassed to say why. He is very nice to my roommate, who everyone hates.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1947 on: December 17, 2014, 10:43:58 pm »
As a consequence of going to a catholic high school I had to go around doing community service for X amount of hours per semester. I found a nice girl who would drag me around to both senior citizen homes and library tutor gigs. I learned that both populations were remarkably similar in their honesty and temperaments. I don't know if I was consciously taking the piss on the whole thing or what, but the only way I could handle those hours was by trying to talk with them and explain that "I know you're crazy and not functioning as a normal person so I'm going to adjust to your level and we're going to talk about video games while I do your homework for you or we're going to talk about what it was like to fight in WWII and how it compares to dealing with your grandchildren." At the end of the year I submitted a review of the volunteer program to Brother Donald in which I compared the whole thing to the Hughes Spruce Goose project because it was well intended, but ultimately a waste of time.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

pmcd9

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1948 on: December 18, 2014, 05:18:28 am »
I don't really have anything to add to that, but I did feel the story was worth a can.
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theinevitable

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Re: Shit my ________ says
« Reply #1949 on: February 23, 2015, 01:02:24 am »
College friend told me today she is cleaning out her room at her mom's house and found several letters I wrote her, and they were touching to re-read.

"Whoa, I don't remember writing you any letters!" was the wrong response. Come on dude, hove some dignity.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
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