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[dejavroom]

Today I will wait for a lady to call me so we can go out on what could probably be described as a date. I gave her my number on facebook and said: "hey if you feel like doing something tomorrow call me". I know this is not how it's done, I should have asked her out and suggested something already, but I forgot how to have fun (also the basics of socio-sexual interactions) and had no idea of what young ladies might consider fun on a Friday night (bad sign, I know).

Also yesterday I friendzoned a woman (more like a girl) for the first time in me life, it was the most retarded thing, I blamed mental issues (which could be true, in a way). I don't know how you guys do this. Such a mess.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Our neighborhood sounded like a damn war zone last night. Used to be our neighbors across the street set off a ton of fireworks, but they've all but given it up. Someone in the cul-de-sac behind us has picked up the mantle, though. You could hear stuff going off all over the neighborhood, but these people were SERIOUS--you would hear the FOOM of one taking off and just know that it was going to be huge. And now my yard is covered in little bits of paper and ash.

[jay-ell]

There were probably professional face painters working the scene and they would have charged $5 for each and they are almost certainly not any better than you.

I didn't see any pros -- out of courtesy, I don't bring out my stuff if there's a booth set up --  but one of the moms had gone downtown and had her face done this afternoon. When I did her daughter's to match, she said, 'Oh, wow, that's better than mine." I sort of agreed but you never want to rag on another painter's work. Especially when she probably painted 100 faces and I only painted six.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Sorry man, fireworks excite me.

As I was finishing that post, I thought "I am leaving the door open for something here." Figured you would walk through it.

[theinevitable]

I guess if I am not impressed by this video but the cute girl who made it said "you are such a good dancer" it breaks even. I don't think she chose my best move. (the second guy.)

Look at that ass shake.

[pmcd9]

That was fabulous tar tar!

[jaydub]

Quality.  You need a new barber though.

[KeithHernandez]

My newest band is playing our first show in almost exactly a month in a pretty big town about 4 hours away from our city.  This is my third band that will play a show- the first broke up right after because our bass player/singer/my best friend and current roommate stopped being able to play bass without hell of pain.  My second band, well it was complicated, but one person was leaving for the summer and I thought we would never be a band when she came back (and I was right!), so I just wanted to play one show for fun or not to make the previous six months a complete waste, or whatever.  This band, this band is actually really good?  IDK, we sound like a professional band?  I showed my dad one of our jams (an improv jam, I don't call our songs jams) and he was legitimately impressed.  Like, he will say he likes everything, but you could tell he really, really liked this, or at least was impressed I wasn't a complete fuck up.  Everyone in the band showed it to a few people and everyone thought it was awesome- for real awesome, not just being nice awesome.  Multiple people said you all should be playing, when can I see you, etc.,etc.

I guess this is good news?  I am pretty happy, just don't want it to fuck up again.

Oh, also, we are opening for the most popular band in this town, expecting like 50-100 people.  I have so much stage fright.  Our first show was for, IDK, 15 people?  I looked up once, made eye contact with someone in the audience and looked down and did not look back up.  Our second show was for 25-30, I didn't look up once!  I play bass now so it is more socially acceptable to hide, but I also have a pretty big, blond afro, which generally makes people notice me, even if I am not performing for them.  Any advice would be awesome.

[Choop]

smoke A LITTLE weed before you go up and ignore the audience, just play your heart out. if you're that good, they'll enjoy it. don't smoke too much, like two hits off a good bong should do. as long as you're playing your best, fuck 'em if they don't groove to it.

[theinevitable]

exciting night

-ran into a girl from the internet dating site at a party. She did not recognize me, and was on a date with my friend. Awkward. It is weird seeing a lady I have been internet flirting with making googoo eyes at another dude.

-these punk shitheads were trying to pick fights with various of us, and everyone left feeling major bar-fight blueballs. The whole time I kept thinking "if I start working out now, maybe in 2 years I can kick one of these guys's ass." Dude like 5 inches taller than me picking on small ladies and cussing and trying to say I had challenged him to a fight. ughhhhhh. had the thought that I could hit one of them over the head with my bike lock. I do not normally have the impulse to hurt people. Feels bad. Leaving I looked to my left and saw one of my small female friends standing down the street surrounded by these punk dudes, demanding that they apologize for being such dicks. Uhhh. Went and stood close and made sure they saw me, as if I would know what to do if anything happened.

I wish I had been more aggressively wimpy. "hey man, yeah, go for it. You've probably got what, 50 pounds on me? I've never punched someone before, I'll bet beating me up would make you feel really good about yourself."

and yeah, I need to get someone to clean up this buzzcut. And trim my beard.

[littlefallsmets]

Imagine everyone in the crowd with the genitals opposite their gender presentation.

Tension broken.

[Arachno-capitalist]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=3042

[dejavroom]

Go naked. Once you get up there it's all gravy.

I so wish I had the balls to go naked.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I so wish I had the balls to go naked.

Forgive me if I've told this story already.

Back in the day my band is playing a house party. We're in the far end of the basement, the four of us crammed in a space that's about seven feet wide. We're halfway through the set and there are maybe two people watching us--everyone else is out on the back patio, where the keg is.

We finish a song, and the bass player puts down his bass, strips naked, and puts the bass back on (which thankfully covered his crotch). So now I'm standing right next to our naked bass player. "Dude, what?" I ask. "I dunno, something to do." It worked, though, because one of the two people watching us immediately ran upstairs, and by the end of the set the basement was FULL. Even better, the back end of his strap gave way during the last song, so he was down on one knee, trying to play and shield his junk at the same time.

[jay-ell]

That is so punk rock.