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[theinevitable]

The other day I had a weird argument with my dad about, basically, how to be a good person. He said I worry too much about other people's opinions and reactions to what I do. I should just act in accordance with my values and if someone doesn't like it, fuck 'em. The problem with this, as far as I can see, is that this assumes that my values are correct. This also assumes that in any given situation I know all of the information that I need to know to make the right decision. Everyone in society tells the KKK dude that he is WRONG, but the people he trusts agree with him, and he knows in his heart that hating sammy davis jr is what God wants.

Just now I was driving and had to parallel park in traffic. This was stressing me out for a second, but then I realized that this works on the same principle. I think I have become a better driver since I learned to rely on other people to react, at least a little. I used to be so worried that I would do something "wrong" that I couldn't drive in traffic. WHAT IF I MERGE IN FRONT OF THIS PERSON AND THEY SLAM INTO ME AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR MERGING HALF A SECOND TOO LATE. No, dude, they'll just slow down a little. Maybe they'll honk. That is how traffic works.

The same way, I think that relying on other people's feedback (up to a point) allows us to stop worrying about being perfect. No person can know enough or have enough experience to do the Right thing every time. Luckily, we have language. We can communicate ideas. If you don't know something and do the wrong thing out of ignorance, someone can inform you. Sometimes they'll be wrong, but that's the price we pay for living in society. Sometimes someone is going to get mad at you for a stupid reason.

Awesome.

[jaydub]

This is a pretty good observation, and I think its as good a working definition as one can have.  The problem you were having earlier is that you actually think about things a lot more than most - and much of human behavior doesn't flow from a previously conceived, well thought out theory of behavior.  It just happens, and empirically over time "we've" gotten to a fairly agreeable set of rules that at least some of the time allow most of us to be happy with outcomes.  Laws are an attempt to codify those behaviors and expectations, and lawyers make bank on the gap between logic and actual behavior.

I think way too much as well. 

[KeithHernandez]

As much as I try to not do that, it is still my base setting if I don't watch myself. 

That bill hicks joke about being behind someone at a light, they go late, you are stuck unnecessarily at the light, just yelling at that person who fucked you over while missing the next light for the person behind you.  This is what I try not to do.

[theinevitable]

Riding a bike has made me have what is maybe a bad realization, which is... sometimes you can just go through the light.

I don't think I've done that in a car, yet. There is this one intersection near my house where I will do it eventually. Late at night you can just sit there and it never changes.

Dan realizes at age 25 that breaking rules is fun.

[KeithHernandez]

Oh I run useless stoplights constantly.  My old roommate would not even slow down at a few lights we have- on one way streets, no cross traffic, just traffic control type lights.

[Carlos del Vaca]

The other day I had a weird argument with my dad about, basically, how to be a good person. He said I worry too much about other people's opinions and reactions to what I do. I should just act in accordance with my values and if someone doesn't like it, fuck 'em.

I kind of go back and forth with my kids on this. As far as attitudes toward life, things you like to do, etc., this is sound advice.
There are other areas, such as hygiene, basic human kindness, and being a good friend, where you do need to care about what other people think. Hopefully by the time you're in your 20s you've figured this out.

[theinevitable]

Yeah, I think I was extra flabbergasted because I think I have learned and grown a lot over the past few years by applying this approach. The more I learn about the variety of human experience, meet new people, read new things, the more sure I feel about some of my values that I used to question. I think some of that stuff used to feel kind of mushy in my brain, but it is a lot more solid now. My moral priorities are considerably more in order.

Recently I got coffee with this activist dude from work and we talked about urban planning, and I had one of those moments where I was really tired but caffeinated and I linked together a bunch of ideas I hadn't thought of before. There was an article I was trying to explain, about the problem with planning that tries to be "democratic" in process, and I realized I hadn't understood it before then. Interesting. It felt Important because I realized how much I have absorbed from my experiences and readings over the past few years, and that they have coalesced into some weird (small-L) libertarian-socialistish-thingy structure.

[theinevitable]

"dan, if a girl seems like she is trying to smooch on you, and you think she might have a boyfriend, consider the fact that she knows more about that situation than you do."

That might be a good idea. come on dude. learn this by now.

[jay-ell]

It is OK to ask a girl, "Hey, aren't you seeing someone?"

And then it's OK to believe her if she tells you something that sounds vaguely suspect, like, "Yes, but we're not exclusive."

These are things I've learned in my life. Ask the questions, and trust the answers.

[jaydub]

Hi-5 to that, former Met.

I will treat a stop light like a stop sign every time it is safe to do so. Fuck sitting in idle for no cause or benefit.

On the bonus side: sometimes I'll be sitting in the front of a double left turn lane with a red for the turn lanes and a green for the through traffic (there's a couple of these on the way to work) and if there's no oncoming traffic/pedestrians/bikes I'll just make the turn and go. Usually the person in the other turn lane next to me flips right the fuck out...except for motorcyclists. Those dudes seem hip to going right on through with me. But I love seeing the look on peoples faces when I just...leave.

A lot of lights work off what is essentially a big metal detector underneath the pavement.  Sometimes they aren't tuned very well and the mass of a motorcycle isn't enough to trip a left turn signal.  I'll usually wait through one cycle of red/green and if the left turn still doesn't come up I'll ride through once its safe to do so.  I'm pretty sure I could get a judge to buy that.  I do like it when I've got a truck to act as my blocking back.  I'll take advantage of the protection from oncoming traffic anytime.

[Choop]

how bout them assbags that pull up so their rear bumper is on the white line what marks where your front bumper should go

[Choop]

a bit severe bro, how bout just a weekly flat tire

[theinevitable]

worked until late, then went and watched What About Bob with my roommate's cool cyclist friends. The girls are all into this thing where they wear a pretty pretty dress with bike shorts underneath. It makes me Feel Things about muscular Legs and Butts. I wish single speed bikes and riding without a helmet didn't look so cool. Riding without a helmet is probably the only really dangerous thing that I want to do. Single speed bikes are probably fine (not fixed gear), but they are supposed to be bad for your knees. Slick bikes with the minimum number of accoutrements look really good. Mechanical advantage is nice, though.

[jaydub]

What is the difference between single speed and fixed gear?

[theinevitable]

You can coast on a single-speed bike. It only has one gear ratio, but the gear is not fixed onto the axle. On a fixed gear bike you have to be pedaling at all times, and if your feet come off the pedals they just keep on revolving with the wheels. They are really for racing-- in bike races on tracks you are not allowed to use brakes. Everyone is tightly clustered in a pack, there are no brakes, and I guess having a fixed gear gives you some kind of tactile control of the bike in a different way.

I think a big part of it is that if you are in good shape and ride your bike everywhere in a relatively flat place, removing the most breakable part on a bike seems like a good idea. My fit roommates all have single speed bikes, and say it is pretty rare that they miss being able to shift down. I guess I understand that, most of the time I ride in the second-to-highest gear anyway. But it's nice being able to shift down when I need to. What I don't get is why I need 12 speeds for everyday use when I'm not going up any mountains or anything. It seems like 3 speeds would be just about perfect. The shifter on a bike seems like the most finicky part, without one you just have to replace brakes sometimes and grease things up every so often. Also if you're getting up to top speed and just staying there, a little more muscle-work during that initial acceleration is a fair tradeoff for a lighter bike.

My friend tried out a fixed-gear bike at the track a while ago and reflexively stopped pedaling coming out of a curve. He locked his legs, the pedals kicked, the bike flipped, and he found himself flying through the air. I have zero interest in fixed-gear bikes.

GREs are this wednesday, this is my first full weekend off in a while but it's gonna be 2 days of math and vocabulary. Going to treat myself to some good food, too. OK dan let's do this thing.

There was a weird miscommunication, maybe, with one of my recommendations, and now he is not responding to my email and I am a little panicked. I am probably overreacting, but as a professor this guy was very finicky.