Unlike Mr. Onstad, I am pretty much still an "unvalidated, snot-nosed wreck all the time."
But I do have a funny dog-feces story, which I believe I shall share right about now.
I was participating in an advertising photo shoot taking place at a fairly upscale house. Part of the shoot was done in the front yard, and I had just come back in and parked myself on a stool at the breakfast bar. One of my coworkers started frantically darting through the house asking everyone to lift their shoes so she could look at them. She got to me and I lifted my right shoe, which she could see was clean. As she scampered off to the next person, I lifted my left shoe to check it for myself. Completely poo-encrusted. I had unknowingly tracked dog dookie throughout the house. Um, oops. I then nonchalantly wandered back into the yard to scrape off the offending shoe, and never did admit that I was the excrement culprit.